Show PETZVILLE TAlES Rev Ebenezer Spillgath and Moses J2y Ellis Parr er Buf1e 7Jj Author of Pigs is Pigs Etc JOLLU5TKATED By PETER NEWELL Rev Ebenezer Spillgath of Iletz fllle Is In serious trouble with his congregation at present and It all goes to show that one should not be too forward In the good work of smlt Ing the wicked It Is all right to smite tho wicked for that Is all tile wicked arc good for but any one desiring to smite should bo careful not to pick out a wicked that will smite back When Purdons Three Iting Circus and Unmcntlonably Great Menagerie was In town about a month ago It happened to be hero on Thursday and lev Ebenezer was greatly angered to find that when he opened prayer meeting that night he had the meeting entirely to himself and he decided that as the Egyptiansso to speak had spoiled his meeting ho would wreak vengeance on them and spoil the Egyptians As the circus had moved on to Bllllngsvllle that night i Rev Ebenezer harnessed up his mare Rebecca and drove over and on the way over he made up his mind how ho would spoil the Egyptians Rev Mr Spillgath Is noted In thl3 county as one of the most progress va and slick horse traders on earth and 10 decided ho would spoil the Egyp tlons In a horse trade Ho was not aware at that time he says that the Egyptians were just spoiling to be spoiled When Rev Ebenezer returned to Betzvlllo Friday evening he no longer drove Rebecca but a white horse and he wore a smile that Informed one and all that he felt he had successfully success-fully spoiled the Egyptians and that he had spoiled them good and hard Many were the congratulations he received re-ceived from Uncle Ashdod Chute and other prominent citizens of Betzvlllo and he announced that It was his Intention In-tention to call the horse hitherto bearing bear-Ing the sinful name of Skcczlcks by the more appropriate name of Moses The next morning Rev Ebenezer harnessed Moses and started on one of his accustomed tours of mercy and business since his salary compels him to peddle watermelons between his stops at the homes of the sick and soulsad and all went well until he reached Main street Here ho paused and entered Into a controversy with Alderman Bud Winters on the merits of free liquor as against the mulct tax when suddenly Moses arose upon his hind legs and stood gracefully balanced bal-anced thus It was a thrilling scene Alderman Winters scooting elsewhere else-where Rev Ebenezer exiting from his buggy head first and Moses standing stand-Ing on his hind legs All this set against the background of the Bankrupt Bank-rupt Store and the post olllco made one of the pictures that will go down In the history of Betzvlllo forever As soon as Rev Ebenezer regained his composure ho examined Moses and a very superficial examination proved that Moses was still standing on his rear legs Nothing that Rev Ebenezer could do would bring the horse to any other posture The horse seemed to want to stand that way and so It stood that way If Rev Ebenezer over became angry ho camo near It then but a whip seemed to do not a bit of good and when with his patience quite exhausted Rev Eben ezer entered his buggy and whipped up Mosos wont his way on his hind lygs Many said It wan as good as a circus That night Moses slept In hla stall on his hind legs whllo Rov Ebenezer lay awake wondering what had caused the beast to net In this strange way By daylight he decided that some word said In the presence of the horse must have been a signal for the act and he proceeded to the barn and repeated re-peated to the horse as nearly as possible pos-sible what he had said to Alderman Bud Winters Nothing worth chronl I cling happened and with a sad heart Rev Ebenezer harnessed the upright horse and went his way At the corner of Main and Cross streets he met a large body of citizens citi-zens nil much Interested among whom was Alderman Bud Winters and resuming the discussion of the day before Alderman Winters expressed ex-pressed himself in his usual free and profane way In the midst of the discussion dis-cussion Moses suddenly up ended him self with his rear legs In tho air and and stood on his front hoofs In vain did Rev Ebenezer speak to the brute ho was compelled at last to continue his rounds with Moses walking on his fore feet That night and six nights thereafter Moses slept In his stall with his rear roofs against the rafters and whenever Rev Ebenezer went for n drive he was followed by a horde of Interested parties It was very annoying Nothing that Rev Ebenezer could do seemed to have any effect on ULUf r l f5 a > r g r is C 0 Io 1eo er N eYYd1 Many Said It Was as Goodas a Circus Moses and the sight of the mlnistel of the gospel driving u horse that waif a permanent circus caused considerable consider-able scandal In these part Aunt Rhlnocolura Bctz who Is one of the best contributors In the congregation gave notice that she was going to withdraw and other leading society folks followed her example It was then > that Rev Ebenezer driven to desperation sent for Alderman Alder-man Bud Winters Ho had tried everything In his own vocabulary un availlngly but tho moment Alderman Winters opened his luxurious store ol cuss words the effect on Moses was Instantaneous For each variety of oath Moses performed a different act and the only difficulty seemed to be that Alderman Winters did not have In stock the particular kind of swear that would make Moses act like n regular horse The nearest he came to It was when he said Blankety blankety your blank hide At this Moses did a cake walk on four legs and Rev Ebenezer had to be satis fled with that It was better than having n horse walk on Its hands But Rev Ebenezer Is a man of bulldog I tenacity and he Is having Bud Wll Hams come up to the barn every night ana swear at Moses Ho hopes someday I some-day Alderman Wlntoro will sweat Moses Into a regulation horse The trouble Is that the congregation knows It and they are trying to de chic whether they shall discharge Rev Ebemmezerfor having profane language fired oil by order In his barn or din charge him for having a horse thai I does the cake walk Copyright 19CO by W > Q Chapman |