Show Sufira Thon1csIv 1 find LOVG b WilburDNesbil L T WAS no spasmodic love affair this of Hiram Tut I tlo and Lucy Finch That it was no highly romantic affair you may Infer from the names of tho principals princi-pals If I were drawing upon my Imagination and writing a real love story ono that would make the L justly celebrated affair of Paris and Helen seem like a business transaction transac-tion In comparison then their names would be Hector Montmorency de Beauvlllo and Imogene Teroversham or something to that effect But this Is simply a little story caught In real liteJust such an affair as Is going on right under your nose and In your own town at this moment So It you prefer tho rhetorical wooing of Hector Montmorency de Beauvillo and the no less rhapsodical counter wooing of Imogene Terevoraham dear reader read no further There were Hiram Tuttle Lucy Finch a turkey and a suffrage question ques-tion Three of these were tangible In the beginning although Hector and Lucy were a great deal older than the turkey at the start The suffrage question I know Is as old as the hills and bids fair to become as everlasting everlast-ing ingIn In duo time the womans suffrage propaganda reached Mlllvllle Several prominent suffragists descended upon the town In an automobile and made speeches from that vehicle right In tho middle of tho public square of a Saturday afternoon Ten years ago all the woman In Mlllvllle would have said that those speakers were mannish man-nish now they said they were exactly right Ten years ngo all the men In Mlllvlllo bulwarked behind their chews of plug tobacco would have denounced those Invaders as unwomanly unwom-anly and have classed them with Dr Mary Walker and Belva Lockwood Now tho men Just chuckled to themselves them-selves and said the women ought to have the ballotIf they could got It While these women were speaking Hiram Tuttle having came down town to lay In his Sunday supply of bacon eggs coffee flour and other bachelor provender found himself listening to themaDd right beside him stood Lucy Finch Now do not gather the notion that Hiram was a crabbed old bachelor nor that Lucy was a wizened wiz-ened old maid Lucy was more than 3Gbut nowadays a woman who has passed 30 Is just beginning to be good looking Hiram wasnt crabbed at all he was pleasant enoughbut the way he dressed himself was enough to make any woman wish she had a chance to take hold of him and spruce him up It Is all nonsense to say that woman Is Impressed and Influenced by 4 tad I III a r Humph I Sniffed tucy And What Was Paul Anyway A Crusty Old Bachelor That Had to Bo Struck by Lightning Before Ht Would Go to Church I a mans appearance What attracts her nlno times out of ten is the possibility pos-sibility of Improving his appearance So It happened that Hiram and Lucy walked away from tho speaking together to-gether and HIram found himself for the first time in five years talking with a woman I moan carrying on a conversation Ho had spoken with plenty of them but theres a difference differ-ence And all the way up the hill toward to-ward Lucys homo the argument on suffrage grow warmer and warmer until by the time they parted they were dear enemies on the subject Hiram Hi-ram was absolutely against womans suffrage and as a crushing argument ho cited some words of the apostle Paul about womans placo In the scheme of things Humph I sniffed Lucy And what vaa Paul anyway A crusty old bachelor that had to be struck by lightning before ho would go to nurch I Well he knew a thing or two about omen Hiram argued stoutly Ho didnt know anything about hem Lucy replied briskly If ho Bad known anything about them he vould have known that It would be women who kept tho churches going tnd did all tho work and that they wore a Brent deal better than the men over dared to be And besides I I I I even the men couldnt veto then so what authority Is ho on suffrage Naturally this dispute could not be end d then and there Hiram Tuttle fou Id It necessary to stop at Lucy Fin hs gate several mornings nnd brlrlc up some now argument that had occurred to him only to be effectually squPlchod by Lucys wit and wisdom And from that It became necessary for him to drop In of evenings onco or twit > a weekto continue the discussion discus-sion And propinquity and acquaint anc4 each having their effect it was not ong until he with a mans fore sigh saw that this debate could not be ended for years ao ho proposed to Lucy Now when a man proposes to a woman ho has his ears set for just one wordand that is Yes Therefore Imagine Hiram Tuttlet I i 1 I lfit i r I Therefore Imagine Hiram Tuttle Surprise Sur-prise and Astonishment When Lifcy Told Him No I surprise and astonishment when Lucy told him No And naturally he asked her why she wouldnt marry him Men always do that As if a woman could have a reason 1 By tho time a man learns that a womans No Is merely a preliminary pre-liminary of her Yes he Is too old to be Interested In the matter Also when a man gets the proposal habit he cannot shako It or break It So Hiram grew to going around to Lucys and asking her to marry him every Wednesday and Sunday evenIng even-Ing enjoyed rIve Lucy this Ive got a 14 pound turkey for my Thanksgiving dinner Hiram told Lucy on the Sunday evening before the day set apart by the governor to be thankful If you could think of anything any-thing to justify such a state of t mind Fourteen pounds I Lucy exclaimed exclaim-ed Why whatever In the world will you do with allthat turkey I thought Id fry It and eat it Hiram Hi-ram answered Fry III Fry a turkey Well of all things I Yes I laid out to fry It and have It with some fried potatoes and a pumpkin pie and some baked cranberries cranber-ries for my Thanksgiving dinner Baked cranberries If that isnt just like a man I Who cooked your Thanksgiving Thanks-giving dinner last year I did I had pork chops and boiled turnips You poor man I Artful Hiram He knew what pity Is akin to Having failed of all other avenues to her heart ho was taking the pity route Tho 14pound turkey was a fiction so were the pork chops Had Lucy exercised her memory she would have recalled that Hiram always al-ways went to visit his Aunt Sarah over Thanksgiving But she could think of only the one thing So she said Hiram Ill come up to your house Thursday morning and bake that turkey t tur-key for you j Lucy couldnt have done a thing like I that where you and I live That would have been scandalous But In Mlll vllle they are not no fashionable as to confound nclghborllness with suspicious suspi-cious conduct So on Thanksgiving I morning Lucy proceeded to concoct for I Hiram one of those Thanksgiving dinners din-ners you read poems about And when the turkey was done brown and oozing and filling the air with a glorious perfume per-fume she called Hiram to the kitchen kitch-en and asked him If It didnt look good goodU It does that be answered Ummm UDlVeU Well sno safe nrmlY shutting the oven door and planting herself bo foro It In four minutes that turkey will be burned to a crisp Unless you agree right now that women should have tho vote I leave tho turkey there and ruin It Hiram pondered for just 30 seconds sec-onds I Ill agree that woman shall have the right to vote ho offered if youll agro < i to marry me Wel11 she sighed of courso It Is fort o great cause But It was the heat of the oven that nade her face so red It must have been ten minutes later that Hiram HI-ram ele Bcd her from his arms and anxiously said that tho turkey would be b rood after all Tho flro was out before I called you In sho confessed It wont burn Wrell Hiram laughed I dont have + to make all the rest of the men agroo that women shall vote do 17 I 1 I |