Show IVmiv q BY I I MS LuLL i I I I 1 I I ly Yy 4 a gyp w n L n 1 1 oswa ii rr a 1 I nETHER mar i OUFR r rlngo be absolutely rfar abso-lutely a failure W I or not 18 same Ic thins to be do 1 cldod only by those who havo tried It and Ii I am no feminine Don 1 it Quixote tilting against 1 windmills I am simply an observer r o seeing happy marriages and unhappy and sometimes finding what Is evident a tali except the persona most concerned tho I Ittte rift within tho lute which haa mado its Mile mute it might bo said at tho outset that tho fact of suC kIDS nil over tho world if marriage is a failure 1 d NE kENr n v WLDOYFiPTiE f rin oc r i I b m v dr I H 1 Is not proof that It Is a success nor is the excellence excel-lence of an Institution provod by tho few cases bat by the many The few but prove tho possibility possi-bility of success whore thoro is moro often but light measure of it No one who has considered the matter thoughtfully thought-fully can doubt that marriage nt Its best is the perfect life Ideal In its relations and In its devcl oinent of tho best type of man and woman hut fortunately that a thing may bo is not the same u that it IB To an outsider one of the strongest arguments agaInst matrimony is the number of those who try to get out of it Being tied Is In itself a condi Uon trying to an erratic temperament for you are tever to eager to get away as when you know ion cant I have watched devoted lovers grow into In different partners and also have seen most beau tlnl marriages grow from rather commonplace foolngs BO tho advance stage seems not much oC an Indication what the future will give One of my girl friends said to mo of her fiance I am not ono of the silly girls who cannot seo units In those they care for I can BOO them all Ue plainer because I love and though I have hunt ed ran hard for them I cant see a fault In Joe and BO I know ho hasnt got any She and Joe lot married and went their loving way Some ears later I met her and in tho course of con rsation she surprised me by saying No of we to I dont tell Joe everything the way I used Men are BO stupid they never understand w It Is foolish to tell them and get into a fuss Do they grow stupid after marriage Joe Veil they maynot > but they seem to Why w nearly went wild over the most Innocent letter bad i that a man sent J110 and no happened to bring Ive told the maid again and again never to my letters to the table but to put them in oftf Illy bureau drawer but she Is so careless One ofien lee has letters she doesnt wish her husband to tills and things of that sort au Now i nit Is hard for me to Imagine marriage a IUccesa ln then which one party to the contract has loch a Se feeling as that Marriage It seems to ii one of two things either a business con ct ° r a union If taitr d founded upon sentiment und Irbg enters Into It ono Party or the other Is not ng Up to the ante agreement however smoothly Mm may seem to go > K It Is a business con thrD other each partner has a right to the confidence of It there and so long as > sentiment enters Into hCween Will be tho same Interchange pf interests TbIVleen married couples as between tho engaged rule or to hOlds aa good whether applied to man w Oman Another lotediy er of my Blends loves her husband de tor y Ihe says She has no secrets from him front to have j ° anybody elsenot even thoso she ought tonal a for Perfect faith does not necessitate Son to man ovcry foolish little thing nor pass ° eometldng kr J him something some girl friend has told When ht oat hen of on evening her husband puts on to ire 80 out this wife begins Why Harry you phis u going evening sWherleyareaYua out this evening Where are you HflrPr YARE + YDUGDNGDUr rfl SF NNG P going What are you going for Who else Is from the girls dream yet sho never blames herself I her-self for any part of tho failure Still as she could speak before me and her children with this lack of courtesy to the man whom she had sworn he fore dod to lovo and honor she may not be wholly free from fault Should you present lovers call I tho marriage In which such as this was a common com-mon occurrence a success or a failure In the course of my wanderings to and fro 1 have often spent some time at n house where there never has been a meal finished without some faultfinding by the master thereof This is not duo to Illcooked food for tho wife prepares pre-pares good dishes and sees that tho cook docs likewise If the chicken Is broiled Why didnt you fry this If it Is fried Why wasnt it t broiled Or perhaps the complaint will be that chicken was cooked at all when ho wanted fish Tho vegetables were always over or under done something that he wanted and had not spoken about had not been prepared Maybe it would bo Ive been trying ever since I was married to e C 1 L ll a l lIRrDD Ydll d wrrwrHRrFFrY CENT I RVE YOU Lforhn6ii going What makes you go You can think of mo waiting hero alone until you get back I shall sit up until you get homo Think of a selfrespecting able bodied and minded mind-ed man being subjected to that every time be goes out of the house Could you bear it oh sister woman if ho put you through like questioning Why should a man or a woman be required to give an account of all the moments as they fly Speaking of human beings from my own standpoint stand-point I should say there is nothing dearer than freedom of the IndIvidual and nothing much harder hard-er to bear than any infringement upon it I consider con-sider being questioned almost the unpardonable offense on the part of a friend yet left to myself probably I should tell him or her all I knew but quizzing me always results In my telling nothing and there must bo others like that Something of this kind I said to Ella and that to ask a man so much seemed to me like an indignity In-dignity She replied How funny you are Why should he object to telling me It he Isnt going where ho Is ashamed to have it known Am I not his wife and entitled to know all he does Ho probably might toll you without your asking ask-ing if you gave him a chance but anybody with an atom of sense would object to being forced to tell every time he turned around and why If ho loves mo ho ought to be willing to tell me so little a thing as that What are you going to do with a woman like that to live with every daylove her Yes but you will come to the conclusion that dumbness is not without some compensations Once I was visiting a friend who had been the most romantic and sentimental of girls When she was first married she wept bitterly because her husband said another woman was tho handsomest hand-somest one he had ever seen No other woman ought to be so handsome to a man as his wife however she looks sobbed Ehe as If a man lost his eyesight when ho married mar-ried Wouldnt you suppose a woman would lose confidence in her husbands Judgment if he thought she was the most beautiful of women when her mirror told her she was not While I was at this friends home her husband told at dinner of something funny that had happened hap-pEned that day in the office addressing his remarks re-marks directly to her She made no pretense of listening and evidently did not hear a word You dont seem to see anything funny In that all I thought Oh 1 never listened to it at likely It was as stupid as the stories you usually teirrudeuess In her manner as In her words She often sl6hs because marriage Is so different teach Polly to make m broad but it seems impossible im-possible for her to get it into hor head and the bread is aa light and sweet as bread ought to bo Heaven help the woman whose husband thinks he can I cook and help her doubly If at tho same tlmo he has the grumbling grum-bling habit If you sat at the table three times daily to such remarks you ue dear little brldo of tho I future what would Jlfe et be worth to you Yet this man has been much loved of women and has made threo wives happy or miserable miser-able well conscious of a few of their defects de-fects let us say But to some women II would be bitter bread that had that flavor ono would be as comfortable comfort-able walking on tacks as living with a man who Is never suited never praising but always finding find-ing fault I have never seen an instance of a very happj marriage when tho woman was the bread winner win-ner if the husband wero a strong well man II a woman makes a horse and cares properly for rh the husband and children who should bo in It I she has business enough within the walls of her house Whatever she does outside Is Just so much taben from the strength and thought that belong rightly to the home and its inmates From the beginning It has been womans part to care for what the man provided and this instinct is I rooted back many centuries and is a part of the human race today So surely as it is violated for anything but the greatest need tho woman and the man suffer for the violation She grows to despise the man who does not provide for herand he loses his selfrespect The woman who works with all her might to help a man make money makes a great mistake mis-take if she is seeking happiness for the money Is bought at tho cost of the character development develop-ment in tenderness and unselfishness that the man needs and gets when he looks after his wife as he wants to when he marries It should be some very strong cause that loads Her to take from him this right to an unselfish manhood Tho woman who makes a true home docs more for the man than sho does by going Into tho labor mart and sloe cannot do both It Is true that the happiness of married life depends a good deal upon tho woman moro I think than upon the manbecause her strength lies in Just and proper using of tho powers of heart and spirit Of course men sometime are trying and dense but I havo seen most unpromising unprom-ising material made Into husbands who were delightful de-lightful and the envy of women who had not known or cared how to use what was theirs to build with Ono cannot bo happy with an unbearably Jealous Jeal-ous man who suspects his wife at every turn but the man with minor faults such as asking What did you do with the CO cents I gave you last week may be cured by the right handling I It may be hard to be happy if you have black eyes and hair when your husband takes pleasure in calling your attention to beauties with bluo eyes and gclden hair and tells you how ho always al-ways admired that style of beauty but think what a compliment he paid you in prefcrrlni you in spite of his fancy for another type cf comeliness come-liness Copyright by Joseph D Bowles |