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Show f A Line oy Type or Two ! 'Lord, what fouls these mortals be.M I I t- f BY B. L. T. "AT.L wo tued," tays King Albert of TVlium, "is an opportunity to borrow." W ..:;, Al, t.:at, wiiii ten hours' start, is ail wu aai. j OUR blythesorne contemporary, F. P. A., is nut disturbed by the steel strike, as he uk-s a gold pen; and for a like reason our withers are unwrung.' Kugene Field uf fragrant memory used a steel pen. A friend of ours was si caking of ii-ivin.u dropped in on the poet just as ho was fitting a new pen to the holder. "You can't write anything new," said Field, "unless you have a new pen." The Butting In of Dr. Mary. (From the Madera. Calif.. Mercury. "t Dr. Mary Ryerson But in, who was the one fortunate persun in Madera to he fa vored with an invitation to attend the luncheon given by the woman's committee of San Francisco ' in honor of President and Mrs. Wood-row Wood-row Wilson, returned home last evening. eve-ning. Dr. Mary states that after seeing see-ing President Wilson in the parade she hurried to the Palace hotel, where the luncheon was to bo served, and that the crowd was so great that she feared she would not be able to yet into the immense dining room. The dork at the hotel fina 11 y placed a step ladder Jn front of the desk and many of the ladies. Dr. Mary included, went "over the top" into the d iuing room. Lr. Butin states that she found ' tho president to be just as he is pictured pic-tured other than the fact that ho looks much younger and that the 1 wrinkles in his face are not nearly so deep as they appear in his pictures, "lie reminded mo for all the world of Columbus," said Dr. Mary this morning. morn-ing. While the president and his party was gathering about the table, the eyes of DT. Butin and those of Mrs. "Wilson met. and the latter smiled and bowed, and a feeling of pride came over the local lady that she says sho will never forget. A GENERAL strike is held ridiculous by Mr. Fitzpatriek, we read. Rather. The mere thought of it gives us a stitch in the side. Keasons for Rejecting the League of Nations. ' (Collected from eminent statesmen and journalists.) 1. Tn the council, America would have one vote, the British empire one vote. We want more. 2. Jn the assembly, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South A frica, and India get one vote apiece, but Liberia, Panama, Haiti, Nicaragua, Cuba, and Peru get only one vote apiece. How dare Canada, etc., aspire to equal status with Haiti and Cuba? :i. Should it be as easy for Great Britain Brit-ain to control the votes of Canada, etc., as for the United States to control the votes of Panama, etc., it would be disastrous. disas-trous. 4. Article X. abolishes the right of conquest. con-quest. The right of conquest should be reserved to the United States. 5. It is our policy to avoid entanglements. entangle-ments. Under the, league there would be no entanglements to avoid; therefore Washington's policy would be rendered n. and v. 6. Any member would havo the right to bring the case of Ireland before the league, and if we were represented we might have to say something really responsible re-sponsible about Ireland. 7. The league will preserve the independence inde-pendence of Poland, Czecho-Slovakia, etc., but so long as they remain Independent we remain morally responsible for them. Without the league they will be swallowed swal-lowed up again, thereby relieving us from an unwelcome burden. 8. Being now a great creditor nation, with an immense mercantile and export trade, we should naturally wish to remain aloof from a oody that will control all international business. , God save the senate! JAMT3S PONTIFEX. THE always surprising Mr. Gompers testifies that Mr. Gary is responsible for the strike. H was expectod that Mr. Gompers would place the responsibility squarely on the shoulders of the American Federation of Labor. Problem of Conduct. Sir: Miss Swarthmore, upon reading, during, working hours, a book on character analysis, finds that she is a brunette in a blonde job. While walking disconsolately homeward, she passes a drug store, in the window of which is displayed a bottle of peroxide. She has no money, but, as chance will have it, there is an unemployed unem-ployed brick at her feet. How shall we extract Miss Swarthmore from her dilemma? dilem-ma? STONE PHIZ. A WALTHAM man, charged with selling sell-ing Jamaica ginger as a beverage, alleges that he sold it as a cure for cramps. The old song may be changed to "How cramped I am, how cramped I am!" j A Fat Man's Views. Sir: A fat man in the club-car of Sun-I Sun-I day's Century kept out of a discussion on ; the league until asked for his views, which were: "I think the league should be put i to a vote of all the people in the United States. If they decide that they are for it, then will be time enough for the senate to work for its defeat." F. D. WR like our emotion, like our whisky, straight. That's why we prefer Gabricle d'Annunzio to Hiram Johnson. Exact Information. (From the Boston Globe.) Westminster Abbey is the most famous cathedral in England. In its vaults are buried the nation's most distinguished public men of the past. It Worked Beautifully. fFrom the. Wood hull Dispatch.) Sunday, while Joe Elliott was trying out a new ignition system on his automobile, auto-mobile, tho car ignited and everything about tho machine that fire could consume con-sume was burned to ashes. THE present battle lie t ween lion Quixote and the windmills is enriched by the detail, "Dulcinea del Toboso accompanied accom-panied him." Those Reckless Americans. (From the New York Commercial.) An American financier estimates that 1, Oof). ono Americans will visit France and England and spend $4,000,-000 $4,000,-000 next year. S ENT IMEXTA LJ T Y, pa rty politics, bushwa and blah aside, if the treaty as it stands were put up to you today would you vote for it or against it? SO should we. |