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Show "Boost and then some. Cuba's Not.' Year resolution is to And vrhy not :i commission Tor tho uplift of tho consumer? They say that gaud is a splendid aid to digestion; so dip into tho supra r lib-fl lib-fl erally. H Only flio spinster and the bachelor required an a In nn clock on Christmas morning. H Titus may be n diviuo healer, but np- H pnrenUy not of the breach between ut- B tonieys iu liin case. B In four years from now you may have a Christmas tree by planting a fir bal-sim bal-sim in your back lot Apparently llio United States Ifar-shal Ifar-shal is somcwlint puzzled as to what Hj he shall do with Sullen Sol. H Xow that tho pure milk ordinanco is to be passed, the next, step will bo to 1 sec that it is rigidly enforced. Every optimist looks forward to something, and Congress has its eye peeled for the fourth of IMarch. Bingham furnishes illustration uf tho fact that Auslrians must beware when Greeks come bearing leaden gifts. Plenty of "timber, abundance of water Hj and oodles of minerals, but the new Pettier will please to keep his hands off. Since the prevalence of high food prices, not even tho millionaire looks upon the free' lunch counter with lofly disdain. If .you agree that he is neither a prophet, nor a seer, nor a- revelator, then Joseph F. Smith's title fits him admirably. Yet it will be observed that gold standard advocates are now a littlo , more disposed to consider silver as a money metal. It must bo remembered, howover, that certificates of.prcsont nicnibership in the Ananias club are good only until March 4, 1900. There's a timo and a placo for cvery-thing, cvery-thing, aud the linic is while you arc walking along the sidewalk and your place is to the right. Ts there anything in the Dcs Moines plan of cit3' government to proven t a Jiian from having four or five different families-at ono time? Hj During all this talk concerning Pan- ama, the inhabitants of Mars must feel somo relief in that their canals are'not now under such closo scrutiny. Perhaps tho surgoons arc not yet j quite sure what it is that Castro has that necessitates au operation except,, of cbursb, that he has that sixty mil-lions. mil-lions. . In making its next movo the local ircatlicr station is to go up in the air; butMhat is not to 633' that it will not !oafjnue to bo more or less accurate in its forecasts. " 1 Tint tho purvej'ors of foodstuffs arc not tho only individuals who aro mak-jug-it difficult to livo and keop out of debt; There are quite a number of landlords who arc taking more than righifiilly". belongs to them. Vi :il iscn uiusicinnK didn't cxpe-Hj cxpe-Hj riocce fiutriuicnt difficulty in making a livelihood,. New York is importing wholo foreign orchestras and bands under un-der contract. IlerG is a matter which might to serve to divert tho President's attention from the occupation of raking tho country with a lluo-tooth comb to lind Ananiasos among his fellow patriots,. patri-ots,. . |