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Show lENCES GOOD IN MARRIED LIFE. by helen oldfield. "9 N spite of the well known and KT I well worn saying that Ab-, Ab-, I sence conquers love." occasion-HM occasion-HM al temporary absences are of ml Inestimable value In married life. Custom stales variety, and SJ one .uii.es to an-ept what oue J f lias always as a matter of course; to value it slightly, even vjy If one don-- not find the same-KSsS same-KSsS ness irksome in a recent Ag-j sketch a disconsolate widower fWra "who bail nevei been partlcu-HrCn partlcu-HrCn Ittrij 'l voted iu his wife, nor. being an honost man. bad hi Jfro professed to be so," i : I 1 77 Sented, after h r death. as awakening to the fad that In her quiet, unobtrusive way, she hail been absolutely necessary r- It Is the same case with many another husband and wife, w ho possibly think pmore or less of a mistaKe. There Is kt much unhapplness, or at least dissat-the dissat-the mailtal lot, might bv avoided by periods of temporary reparation, now in either one of the couple begins to the other is all that fancy painted. PCll for man to be alone,' still less for peless a little Judicious letting alone Is occasion, for both man and beast, iale True, the letting alone musl le-Bare le-Bare must be taken that it Is not Bof neglect, which may be in hteous cause for offense. "Moderation in all things" Is sage doctrine, and It Is not to be gainsaid that too long and too frequent absences ma In the long run starve even a healthy love to death Absence between lovers, more especially married lovers, may be compared to water. In that, while too mm h of It is fatal, ft little of It. quantum suff, as the druggists put it Is necessary to life, a revlvlfler, a tonic, and a stimulant. "Too much watet drowned the miller." vet the miller does not willingly see his stream run dry. It Is wise and well to preach the gospel of matrimonial affection as constant and unremitting, un-remitting, but such gospel docs not necessarily teach that the two who are one in heart and soul shall be ns inseparable In body as in spirit. Tens of thousands thou-sands of conscientious married people deem it their bounden dut to each other to lose no opportunity if being together. In this particular women, no doubt from a high and noble motive, show the least Worldly wisdom, while men, possibly from motives of selfishness, sel-fishness, allied to meanness, display the most, and take an outing now and then, leaving Jane or Angelina Ange-lina at home, to discover how much a husband is good for. Have none of the married men and women who repine in secret because life, instead of being a love poem by Algernon ''harles Swinburne, is a prosaic pro-saic story of everyday, have none such ever chanced to notice the fresh zest which vitalizes the household existence after even a brief separation" And has it never occurred to them that It might possibly pay'" fyo reproduce this zest, thi"5 vivifying mental and moral Influence, this disinfectant and moth destroyer. o to sieak? To tell the actual truth, the much be-praised desire of the devoted wife to be where her husband Is. and (less often) the desire of the husband to be where his wife is a desire which is in the beginning a perfe tl natural and proper Instinct of love, Is apt In later life to become merely a habit, a tiresome mania, a morbid Insistence upon one's rights. The husband or wife comes to be considered as a rightful appendage, whose presence is required accordingly, and who thus. In point of fact, ceases to be a free agent. Love of the genuine, permanent variety "endun th nil things." with one exception. In sickness and In health It never falleth; when poverty, gaunt and grim, stalks In tit the duor. It sets Itself In front of Its beloved be-loved and makes a sturdy light for Its own. It supplements sup-plements bread and Cheese WltH Its kisses and smiles upon BUgarleSS tea. Like Mark Tapley. It maintains le e) fulness through all disaster Hut Achilles had a vulnerable heel, and love dies when bored, True, one may claim that boredom Is Impossible to genuine, everlasting love; still It Is wise not to apply the test So long as one's golden eagles pass current It Is as well not to submit them to the crucible. Experienced and able engineers rarely keep their machines at high pressure for long, oftener not at all. unless the need Is urgent. It Is always well to hold something In reserve, upon the one hand, and not to exact too much, upon the other. Only a few people, and they harmonious harmo-nious to a degree, can live together day In and day out, each with every thought and feeling open to inspection from the other, nor grow restive; human nature will not stand It, simply cannot stand It The man or woman who never feels the need to "retire within one's self for a while, probably does not exist, or if so existent Is either an anomaly or an Idiot, and even Idiots have been known to attempt escape from their keepers because of the restless desire for change. Satiety Is an unfailing canker at the root of whatever Joy it attacks. One can have too much of a thing which Is In Itself excellent Toujours perdrix Is too much for the strongest digestion It Is an accepted rule with confectioners to allow new employees all the sugar they will eat. confident In the knowledge of the Inevitably resulting surfeit which must follow such excess, and disgust them with sweets for all time The full BOUl loathcth the honeycomb." Even with the most devoted lovers It is well to part occasionally. occa-sionally. If only for the pleasure of meeting again. ( t course, no one would be bo cruel as to suggest sug-gest the possibility that "two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one," ould under any circumstances grow weai of their own mutual BOClety; nevertheless, emotlo.ial pleasure Is sometimes almost as exhausting to the nervous system as Is pain. Neither Is there any denying the psychical t'a t that the continuous society of a pet son of the opposite sex during every hour of the whole twenty-four twenty-four for any length of time is a severe nervous strain, even though the society be pleasant. Ouida. In one of her cleverest novelettes, tells the story of a young married couple, who, simply adoring each other, went to spend their honeymoon In a solitude a deux In an out of the way English country house, during a rainy June. The experiment resulted later on In a legal separation. An extreme case, no doubt, but one can readily understand that such an experience might easily be too much "honey" for any clubman who was fond of a dash of cavlarre to his butter. And If this could be imagined In the green leaf, what might be done in the dry? How much greater must be the chances of wear and tear through long years? The wife who would retain her hold upon her husband must not endeavor to hold him tightly. must make her apron strings as 1 tstn as thev are H strong. The little fable of the child who .rushed his precious butterfly to death In his closed palm Is. alas. only too true a type of the foolish woman and the butterfly Love. Shakespeare's line need but alter- ntlon of the tense to be advice of the sagest to lovers, married or single. B "If thou would keep me ever in thy heart, H Absent thee from felicity awhile." It Is not necessary to Indorse the cynical saying that "Absence makes the heart grow fondei " yet none the B less it must be admitted that with many, both m-n JBVJ and women, the total absence of absence Is In greater or less de- r I gree fatal to fondness Blessing- aflttflHi of most sorts are never uo highly SPsWr..;4 appreciated as when one is de ljJ!k 5fc prived of them and thus l in -'"'- afe; their trio- worth It is alway: vtnjmif w ise to remember that the do, jiJ'e ' I of absence, Ilk'- ir v oth. i tone fi3i?2S must be administered with dls- HMmM cretlon. at the right time. In th. jtJsL, ' ' right way. and In the propei - HIH ouantity, when It may b safe- ' 3fcflMflB ly asserted that: - IBVJ "Absence, not long enough to root out quite All love, Increases love at sec- ond sight." t-' i |
