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Show WHERE THE LAUCH COMES IN, ' The olTice doesn't geek the nian any more; ita time is all taken up dodging him. Puck. "Ellen, did Miss Gadd say anything ' when you told her 1 wasn't home?" "Yei, ma'am, she said how elnd she was she had called." Philadelphia Times. A contemporary starts the query, "Why do shoes squeak?" For tho same reason that opera singers do because of the musio in their soles. liuil'alo Express. Ex-press. Sunday School Teacher When the tvhalfl swallowed Jonah, what made him come up? . Small Boy (after long silenceWIho McKinlcy bill. Washington Wash-ington Star. Keely's rival, tho man who almost in- vnntail ni.rnntli.il mntinil iQr1i.nl! Hut there are plenty of men still living who lave almost done something great. titilTalo Express. Walker (newly married) I hope you will do justice lo my wife's biscuit!, old man? Cuttintr (his guest) Well, frankly, I think they deserve thirty days. American Grocer. An article on economy advises every man 'to learn to roml the gas meter. The" ulituner in which theG. M. haudles tho truth, however, suggests a disheartening dis-heartening possibility of nu unhealthy moral inlliienco. Washington Tost. " Wife. I , priced the bath robe you admired so much and found it was SUO. Husband Heavens? You didn't get it did you? Wife-rNo. 1 thought it was more than you wanted to pay, so I got a now bonnet instead. Boston Traveller. (i. W. P, sends to tho Journal the ghiortest lotter ever written, containing tho entire alphabet. The epistle of which ho is the author has but one let-tor let-tor duplicated, the letter "u." It rends as follows: "Quiz Jack, thy frowns vex G. D. riumb." Boston Journal. "It was very kind of you to print my poem, but I din't want my name attached at-tached to it." "That was necessary my dear friend," replied the editor, "for if I hadn't done so undeserved suspicion suspic-ion might have falleu on some of my other contributors, you know." Fiiegendo Blatter. "What's that awful noise in the next room?" risked the early guest nt the banqtut. "That," replied the newspaper news-paper reporter, who had already arrived ar-rived with a sharp peticiland a sharper appetite, "must be the table g,roaniug under all the delicacies of tho season." ' Xorristown Herald. |