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Show THE SALT LAKE TIMES. MONDAY APRIL 13 1891J f 3 ; iwiuth M iln (treet. or In W. H. Sliuarinan.wUh llodtie-l'ttti- i DruK company. SALE- -- T I ft " KIT K N IT I" U K T lii FMK .with privilege of two lisw. Hest location in tiiu city. Aildivnn A., Times Ofl'CtV ThimH SA1.K A HOVKIHMl iTol'SE IN J' vo it I hi ttn n .loin a K od buMiKM, !: furniture, easy terms Aililre-- C VS., TMnn. llcotiia to Jet. I" ""Oil KTNT-H- 'l; Ni.-II- lM)MS WITH " Hoard, at 31.' Ka t rt S utli. TTiKKKVr T.IKI K ST.'UKS OM THIKI r Snii.h. a li 1 ..I Knur.i tel. Stomal. d .niine.-- wa on m i'iunl H' or W Commercial street. Aij.ly to U. IVtiii'roke r"dH KK NT NICK 8TORK KOHMS OIM't-- to tirant lmf. etablea. luiUlie at I l.ih rtteain Lntiudry. ""Oil KENT STOHK. WITH ft I.IVIN'I 1 rootiiB. Het av.iiiai'ie y.r e. ry location 'n the city, Uooui 7, No. sr.'."! V. Klt't South, "J to ti o'rloek p. m. Tx"it "kkntT-- Kt' k s ish k t""koiTm h. with I" or without bo.irj. li K. S'x'h stitnh Hi TxmTi KN T N o "' li K hT V I KT 1 SO I" H I neven room-- , b'tth, hot Ami o.l t eloB. tN. Apii'y t VouiiKbei'H, Utah Com. merclal and Saving t .iuk. v"k", fXKUA N T O r' Hi ' 1 8 i r ! N I i i ami unrumi!.e I i.,om In Harnaa bulhl-ln-leaM'iiaulu ptl ia. Appijf " "m 3 Wat Hi-- ";iTh "KKNTli"w"wT:BT i'lKTH S 'I'Tlj. ' HHveii rimn. bath hot till I rnld wtr. undid ft. Apply to YouukU)i"i,', Vmli and Havtnx t'ank. '"WO NICELY FUhNIHHK.O ItoOMS I allele or conneeted. with U of tmih With or without board. Kltat huuaa lu J'ri. e Court. 44K S. W. Temple. TL.V' It H KNTKI K' t A NT Kt K N 7s IV. 1) P ruomHiiver the Tlmee oflli'e for neiitlniiien !CoL li Kel Icy Nlr ssues Invitations to the Pub lie to Attend the Grand Opening of HIS M RESORT. The Fecr Amoii' Feors and Seo- -! end to None in this City In-vitations Have Eeen Issuod by Mr. Edward Kelley for the Grand Opening of His New Sample Room, at 228 State St. The object of tlii3 demon-- I ftration on tho part of Mr. Kelley is to familiarize his new location and introduce to his numerous patrons and the ' public in general, the many new brands of fine imported poods that have recently been received at his new place of 1 in in T luc ctn ! dicVi mfnf Lynch & Glasmann. Real Estate BrokersJ, b x We Offer the Following Bargains for a Few Days Only They Must be Sold at Once. . The Following Are Genuine Bargains: 3.3x150 It Lot, with new Frame Cottiipe, .'J rooms, Iarjrfl puntry and closet, rlty water, fruit trees: on Alameda Avenue, between llrlgliuru and i'lrxt ith, near 1- -tb Kust $ 1,400 60x130 It, 4 blocks north a McCornlok's Kesidence, nicely located, Irtiit trees, etc 1,000 COxlvO It Lot, on Capital Hill, nicely located, beautiful view., 730 2.xl 10 It LV, on Capitol Hill, good location, fair view.. 40O ii Let. ,'$Oxl40ff raeli, on Grant street, between 5th & 01 li North; each 150 40x115 2, on Main street, 1-- 2 block from Temple; thU Is a tmap 12,000 lO liOts, 25x125 ft, 3 blocks north of Poplar Grove; tho bunch lor 1,250 330x 1 (55 ft, double corner, 4 blocks southeast of Warm Sspiiujjs, tuio ;each orchard on ground. 8,000 .'V,.. . We OFer tie Above for a Few Days Only. 0 Easy Tcrrrjs ! Lynch k Glasmann. Geo. 31. Scott, Jas. Glendeniiin?, II. S. Kumfield, J'rebiilcnt. Vice rresideiit. Secretary. Geo M. Scott 8l Co. (Incorporated.) Dealeiis l.v Hardware, Metal, Stoves, Tinware, Mill Findings, Etc. Agent fur tlio Uoilp Wood Pulloy. Kooblinct'n Stool Wire Kopo, CyliuiliT Rtid Eopine Oils, Hercules Fowder, Atlne Engines and Koileix, Alack Injectors. HiilTalo Scales, .lelferson Horse WLim, Blake rumps, Miners' und lilaeksmitlis'Tools, Etc. 108 Main Street. Salt Lake City, Utah. IHom'u to Sortit. ONEV TO Lr)TN WrTL''lTm157K Ai V, Jlunln bullUiiiu. hUile utrt-B- 'pift.OAN- -f AMI H I'KK CK.NT M1 NKY 1 to li aii on 'il ln:)rovi J riM" IniU'm ss nr ri'siileii iinipi'i ty. John J. fcinyder, ruuni" :ib and 'M iloopvr buiUIUif;. Vcruni; I. NOW 18 YOl'K CHANCK. 1)KKSONAI." tnad" from ! 0 rnirt nj w ir ,t ut Mrs. t ('remans, ilrewmiiUer.VU'Htati! Uoud HEIiSuNAL-OK- T YOL'K 1ST1MATK US 1 ir-- t rl"ii noire n?.d omen tlxti-.- s fm-i-ki: d WaKUvr. Uliop oiipilie WalLir iuillf-ti- . UK. O. t:N(HSTK(kl.l Si' Eituo Hi.UM. mirgeou iyallMt la liilli. KirkuuM of all kliMH. Llvwr aud kldne ntm plalnt4oj.tarrh. all chroutodliaiiand luuo rii and tuniora. lu fraotlu form yvara. T NTFNDINO WHI-:r.- HIDEK8 HIIOI LM 1 Hhonlil ki Ihn Nhw Hover htitr fur :d n i iiiriK'tl. u SieeriiiK ie In lane' ai.d lull-- to lvirs. I'rici- - itd'.U'd. poll t !'! a 1ib till you ae II. t emliinlt the an-- nt for the Star m:n lilii' B. Herbert I'liiiIiium', Is ('oiuinei'clul Htr-el- F. E. Warren Hercanlile Are now In their Spacious and Klejfaut NEW ()UAlTEk8, Cltl Trihune Cuilding. 78 ff. Sad Sc. PIANOS MRGAIS. Highest piialityl Largest Varisty ! LOWEST PRICES! fash or Time PayRienls at Bargains. Deslrnbln Informal ten rl eorfully those who r iitempiaie luiyin i h D'-- ur bi hnn.l l'iuuo ur OrgHti. Coirexixuidi'ii proinptl i to. Visitors niwiiyii PolHe and competent a ilesmtu! CHIOKK.UINU FISCIIFB KABK KVR11KTT DWKiiH AMI I'll MOIU A LAl'.tt DIIUA.M, One 3?rico to All ! Cnnl'i?. Cftntinnorir Pn uu.uiii.i.ji a vw kui'liotltuviit has just been refitted with elegant and costly fixtures and handsomely decorated in ac-cord with the balance of tho tasty surroundings. Mr. Chas. Reilloy, the pop-ular and well-know- n dispenser of the bright and sparkling liquids, has been appointed manager of the new sample room, and will be pleased at any and at all times to wel-come his host of friends and acquaintances. Notwithstanding this new acquisition, Mr. Kelley still retains the proprietorship of the Elks Sample Room, op-posite the Theater, the ony place in the city having a thoroughly equipped gymna-sium in connection therewith; and one that is strictly first-cla- ss in all respects. mum iMuunoij uu. SUCCESSORS TO H:''Mw.Mj'??f.:';'-'- ' EAGLE FOUNDR Y & MACHINE C O JP 2$r . n M """ 'y'l:UV'; w (h J'??r'it's-s4'v"- ' U3 424 WEST FIRST SOUTH, : SALT LAKE C1TF, ITAIl GEO. A. LOWE, Dealer In all kinds of lirst-clu- ss AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS! Buggies, Surries and Road Carts. Handsome, Stylish and Durable. Steam Engine, Saw M Ills, Etc. Hailroad Contractors' Supplies. Warerxous3: 133 to 1-5:- 5 ITirst East St. The vorld-renowne- d and popular pugilist, Mr. Herbert Slade, has assumed the man-agement and directorship of the Elks Gymnasium and may-be found at his post of duty at almost any time. The well-stocke- d sideboard will also be urder this gentleman's personal supervision, aided by several thorough and compe-tent dispensers. The well stocked sideboard will be presided over by Mr. Herbert Slade, the Moari, who for some time was one of the principals of the celebra-ted John L. Sullivan Sparring Combination. Mr. Slade is probably the best known pug-ilist and enjoys a more exten-sive acquaintance among the fraternity than any other man in the West Col. Edw. Kelley is too well and favorably known to need an introduction through the medium of these columns and as a pleasant, genial, gentleman, he is considered by his host of friends and admir-ers as having but few equals. During your spare momenta CALL AND SEE HIM Opposite Theater. And 2?8 State Street. DR. HODGES," DENTIST! Room 76, Commercial Block, Salt Lalt. TEETH EXTRACTED WITHOUT PAW By the Uie of Vitalized Air. ALL WORK WARRANTED I T pulror at Tbe Paragon. 11 W.So. Temple street. VANTK D-- TO RKNt" ""(Tii7lVorM tt Iioiihh with bath. Apply E. J. L. Ti.wks ofllco. iO'ALT LAKE kMPf.OYM KNT CO.UR. moveil to 77'j West South. All klmis nf help turiilHiied on short notice. YTANTKI)-T- O BUY wm OLD BUILDIKOB 11 of all kinds. Utah Houxe Mnvlug Co. 7(, HDl'SKS TU MOV'E. UTAjTTlbuSK ttyjKl Movm Co. h building. l'ANTKl- l- AT rHES3MAKlNO PAR- - lum, MM Kiist Third Smith, la lies to leani Ihn linpiowtl ulnvc tltllriK Mystem of dross cutting. Instruction thorough. Hvst-i- f,ir-m- l e.l; total coHt t. Mrs. L. K. King. y A NT. :,D-- ilijY--A LOOUlNVrAND 1 ImurdlllK lioug bUSiUOH. tttlOill, et(;ht or ten rooms, tor cash. Apply to Fuller & Young, lie Main dlri-at- . WM'Antku-- aa youno Lady desikks piiBitiou toilo oftlce work. IIhh her own tvpe wrtT. Willing to work for small Ralary. Address It. Tillies ollli e. "W. j. inns". E. S. "STanlseo KING YANKEE, DEALEIIS IS Hardware, Stoves, Furnishing Goods, Carpenters' Tools, Bronze Goods, Etc. A Full Line Always in Stock, T. R. JONES & CO., 213 State Street, S; It Lake City. 161 MAIN STREET. BOYS ORES AND fiUIXIOi Beggs 8c Tracy, CoNTBACTORfit V")H j Steam S Hot Water Felling, Boilers, Pumps, Etc. JCIING FHQh'PTLY inEN3E3 TO. j tStat.'Ro.i4. Branch. j Salt Laie C y. 630 171b Su. Unver Col I KgaJyAiUU rrn,tfil,'i.iV.MVA'i 4, J ;.'-r'- V 8n i , i , i . i , i , i , i i . i h ,1 ,n ' i . i ' i 'JlL'-l.-! it y- " , 0J jc I'OKSAl.K A Gi")('D MILCUCOW, AT MB I Kast first huntli. itok a SoN stbekt hvh- - I' tl'Vis on. situat.'U on Wnt drive, only nine hloi k tnm rnlnti National bank. Great iu.lurph'.mits oorfil tu lU'chascrs. Apply at AnKi'l! Hros. Lumber yanl, fii State strm t. IioifsAu: ok lkash-tw- o splendid liimiMT yanl. wsrlniia or ANoonnof tli1 lie'.t site for huii-nes- s In the ritv. Apnly to owners C.O.Whft-tfino- r . SM Sotilli Mala st vet. or to V. H Siikaiisj an. wli h i ; ilw Pitte DrtiK Co. IoiTsALK. i!Y fiWNKK-- A FIN K '.' .xlil ro.ls on l stivi t. Krnlt. r:tr w:;tcr. i'!i'trii-fars- Also unenc-- inhered' Kast.'i-- l.'nn-a- s property t ifi. h:m;e for Salt Lake prop-vi- y. Nl anil ft (.'ohiiucm i.il bio 'k. ?H SM.H -- :.n.i.im KKI) BRICK. APPLY to J. Ch.-n- ey. I.'"i West 1'ourt.i south. I" ' S I.K H KViftSFTlorsl on Kiu'Hth Kat treet. All M .loin tin. prnveuients. Prli'e very low. Trrms easv Apjiiy to tba owner, C. O. Whitt: PRAY FOR THE DEAD. Oh I firry, pray for the deadl Kneel In thought mhnti ebe withered gnuww tUjxilififr khhv oVr a onoe lin,iit head; j Hummer iiicw, and tii flying flower I Bitrli, "Hemeuiber your l and dead!" I' lading, flucirrni, whirling, fuliiiiK, Let come, down with a nut of paiu, , Come to cover the dwir io.i lyuiu J Voder the cold November raio; Cold as clay whin the soul ud fled: j Oh i pray, pray for tug dead! i Oh! ' pray, wtiy for the dtdt Kvery second ditu Is cuiUitjc, Dear one rail like the autumn Itwnw; ' Where's the jinifn that ha lost no Kftrtandt Where's tlKt iiouie where no mourner jcriMvwst tlheven fur thona who, perhaps lu anirutaft Ilarred from (tlory are doomed to roam, Yoicele.-- , helpless. Oh, you loved UienV, lleir our Father to cull them hoirw, ' Home from ttutTennjr. darknea. &ead; Oh pniy, pray for the dead! Oh! pray, pray for the d"'" I'ruy fur lima whom the yawning blDowa fSwnllitwni doivn In their fearful wrath, .Thotttt who, scorched by the lireatti of fovea Fell lik xrtkx lu the mower s iath; Tun who drol hy the way unnoticed, Tkou w ho died in the battle's dm; All ore loved hy our Lont, and holy, ill must suuVr who stoop to sin: Plead for rust for each wenry head, Oh pray, pray for the dead! Oh pruy, pray for ho dead I lturicd friends, can w e'er forifet you. You who felt for our weal cr woe? God be with you, ourttlleut 8leeper Lying und,r the turf so low I Useless, rain In our weuk VwullinK, Tain an mtirumr and ib and Uvir; What, oh, what van our Kref avail yon, LifeleHH dust that wnu oucm ao dear? Hark a sifrh from each lowly bed: Ohl pray, pray for the dead! Michigan CalhuU TAKING IT OUT OF DAD. The Old Man Wa Iteady for lllooil, bat lie Weakened, A dozen of tin etit wutchiiigr a (tamo of quoits at a summi.T resort hotel iu New llnniptOiirc, wheu a littio old mau, who looked ltd if he Might have lived for it century, came skating urouiul with a chip rin his sJiouMer, and lifter parading up mid down in front of tho group ho Btopjied mid aid: "Nobody diirtit't do it! I kin lick tho man who knocks thin chip oil my thoul-- , der!" His defiance was go inconsistent with his white hair and tottering legs that fcverylxxiy laughed, hut he npit on his hands, jumped uj, and knocked his heels together, and shouted in his cracked voice: "Jest agree not to take the law on mo and I'll lick thts hest man in the crowd! I'll leave it to Sipiar' Johnson if 1 hain't had over fifty fights in this county, and made the other feller holler every time!" At that moment a boy about (sixteen years of age, who proved to be u son, came tip and said: "Come, dad; we'd better ltd going." "Not yit, Bill," was the reply. "I'v come up here to lick somebody, and I'm going to do it afore I go home! l'ut a chip on my shoulder, Hill, and I'll dare Anybody to knock it off!'' "Come, father; these men don't want to fight," 0 "lint Tin spilin', Bill, I've got to maul somebody or bust. I've bin grow-- j in' cantankerous fur six weeks, and tho climax 1ms come! Whoop! I'll give anybody a steer to call me a liar! Who'll look cross eyed at me fori.')?" The boy grabbed the old man by the collar and hip, gave him a sido twist, and next instant he was standing on his head and being held in that position. The son took matters very calmly, and while he held his father thus he ex-plained: "I know just what to do with dad. When he gets to biliu' over I have to take it out of him in this fashion." "I give up, Bill; I'm a licked man!" yelled "dad" on the heels of thoexplana-tion- ; and as ho was let up and started for home ho continued: "Durn ye. Bill, if ye'il only como at me rough and tumble and 'low me to kirk and biUi I kin lick a hoss hamful of Bu ll fellers as you be!" New York bull. "1 V "i TALES OF THE TURF. :. .: ifl filly Wenonah, in foal to Ambas, r,f and the ttlly Wmsoino, by Am-ador, liavo .been sold to F. S. Oor--' i of Chicago, for $1,500. I r. Rodney Jones' famous mars, , isa Knox, died at Fairfield, Mo., ' r ily of colic. She was hired by Whale-- ? ' ' Knox, out of Winthrop MerrilL ' was 15 years of ago and had a reo- - ! (of 3. ccksy Fred Taral is likely n a ' jtraci to ride for M. F. Dwyer during I racing season of 1891. Jockey Ilam-- j I fu will probably ride for Fhil Dwyer t ' ' e August Belmont, Jr., decides to .i ' foontinue the racing establishment of I h father, j PThe Independence (la.) association will 1 ve $73,000 in stakes at tho meeting ia gs j pigust, 1891, on the famous kite shaped I j' rack. This is tho largest sum ever of-- 'il for ono trotting mieting. C. W. JVilliams, trainer of Axtoll, is back of ; il I f the Bcheme. ; li'l A reniarkablo horso race took place I re:ently at Windsor, New South Wales, between two local horses owned by Mf!ssrs. Clemens and Hniith. Tho horses ! ran five successive dead heats, though ' tlie jockeys were changed twice. In the i i sixth ruti off Mr. Clenn ns' horse wn. At tho annual meeting of the Trotting Horse Bn'eilwa' association at Lexington I the subject of largo stakes was discussed, and in addition to the $10,000 stakes now I advertised it was decided to offer a f utm- - lty stake of tfJ.j.000 guarantiHid, tho con- - editions of which have not been fully jff It is the opinion of the horsemen in if California that Sunol, Stamljoul and j Palo Alto have all been kept in too con- - i I el.int training, and that to this fact is I . duo their failure to break the records. fl nnol especially needs rest. Even- - one 9 who has seen her predicts she wjll push m Maud S. very close another season, if she j U is properly handled. Defaulter lias again nppeared on the track in the colors of Capt. S. 8. Brown, ' M. Corbett, the bookmaker, bought the horse at the captain's recent sale, but pave him up when the captain informed him that his daughter was very fond of Defaulter and wanted to buy him back. Tho Fittsbnrger whs willing to pay any price, but Corbett refused to mako one j cent profit by tho trade. ' Not Tnklng Small Tip.. A K''ntl!"3!" 1" js not aver&e a tipping u waiter wheu lie liapiK'ns to have the rcquiriito Binull clianga h;ul a curious experience in a well patronized restaurant in Sixth avenue a few nights Ho took 1) in wife into the restau-rant after the theatre and enjoyed re-freshments, the cost of which footed ujt Jl. !).". no had not a penny of changb, ni he handed his waiter a two dollar hill with which to pay his check. With-out wniting for the live cent change ha siarU il to leave the place. His wile and hinwlf had got as far an the door when the waiter overtook them and tendered the gentleman a nickel. "Ohl keep that," said tho man indilTcrently. "No, thank yon, sir," said tho waiter very politely, "1 bes your parjon, but I can-not accept it." "Why not?--' paid the gentleman some-what Impatiently. "l$'canso, sir, I am not allowed to take iv tip of less than ten cents. The waiters here have a iool, and one of the rules is that no member of the pool shall take less than a dime 13' way of a tip." Th gentleman, somewhat embarrassed, eiplained that the nickel was the only hit of change that he 1 d, whereupon tho waiUr blandly remarued, "Oh. that is all right, sir: you can hand it to ma tho next time you ocme in." Now York Times. Kij-l-it Geriiuiu Jokea. A Sunday hunter has actually at lost, to his own astoiiiHlimtnt, sliot a liare. Hearing it home ho see3 a game dealer, from whom ho was in tho habit of bay-ing what ho pretended to have killed, standing at the door of his storn. Ho shows him the trophy in great glee. 'Don't talk to me," cried tho dealer angrily, "don't talk to ;ne about shoot-ing it. You've bought it, I guebs, from that other dealer up the ttreet." "Why, Cousin Carl, you look very often at tho clock!" "Still you don't suspect from that that I am wearied of your company?'' "Oh, no; not that. I merely suspect your watch must be in pawn." In the marriage bureau. "And be-sides," continues the agent, "she has an-other remarkable virtue. Sho can keep silent." "Shall I count that as so much gold';" inquired the customer. "Now tell me, dear baron, who do you think was the prettiest girl at tho ball last night?" "Ah, my lady, you will pardon me, 1 know, if I say I cannot tell." "1 understand. Oh, vou flatterer!" Professor How is it that you could dare say behind my bac that 1 looked like Methusaleh? "I confess I did say it, professor, lint I only like Methusaleh when ho wad youns." "ITow old are you?" j "Twenty." "1 beg pardon, madam, but this ill ' 1801, not 71." "It's horrible the way your boy spells," daid the teacher. i "He can't help that, poor fellow," waa the mother's reply; "it's an heirloom. Ho inherited that from his grandfather." "Do you buy books here?" asked thfc student, offering a volume of college sonis to the dealer, "Yes, sir, hut only whole libraries." "Well, that's my whole library." Fliegende Blatter. MEN YOU HEAR OF. j ' Senator Ingalls is said to have had an afTor of J15,(HjO a year to edit Frank Lea- - (it's Illust rated Newspaper. ' C. V. Dolph, a son of Senator Dolph, has goue to China, where he will cuter the Imperial college at Pekin. Dr. Storrs, of the Church of the Pil-grims, Brooklyn, has completed forty-fou- r years of service at that church us pastor. Sir Walter Scort, the great novelist, Y . , and Sir Edwin Landseer, the great paint- - g r, made their whole lives happy by their ( love of dogs. Sumner Paine; a son of tho well known yachtsmau, who is a student at Har-vard, won $1,(100 on the result of tho Harvard- - Yale football game. , Mr. Chapin, owner of the famous ' Chapin iiiine on the Menominee range, receives a royalty of fifty cents a ton on '4 i ' V' t'JH 'ron nime 00 '""'I' f John Hicks, tho celebrated American i ' JntV:rur,0 Jt'ru tow presented a colleo- - tioyi of aii'uyjities from that country to I b" 4 Lawrence university, Wisconsin. a r JlMrd Chief Justice Coleridge, of Eng-- Und, is nearly 70 years old, and re- - joices in the receipt of a comfoitable sal- - I ary of fW,(K'0 a year from the crown. j Daniel Scales, the colored millionaire j of San Francisco, and perhaps the j wealthiest member of Ins race in the J United States, was formerly a steward 1 on a Mississippi river steamboat, Von Aloltke, at 90, rises at 5 o'clock, makes his own cup of coffee over a spirit ', s lamp, and busies himself with garden : and farm till 10, when ho takes a bowl of soup, or a biscuit, with a glass of wine, for his second breakfast. Dr. Koch was until ten years ao an obscure country physician. His practice , and his reputation did not extend beyond f I the limits of the littio town of Wollen- - ! stein, a place so small and unimportant that it is only with much ditliculty that it can be found upon the map. ITIi IiIch of What a I'tdiiiI. t ir "1. They ushered him into tho ediior'8 sanctum. lie was a tall JiePTo, with an oily skin as black as your coat, flat nose, .hick lips, nnd tho shiniest of shiny eyef. ti.id teeth. '"Is dis do editor?'' ho as lie twirled his hat in his hand. He was informed that it was. "Well, boss, 1 wants to get a job," he aid. "What is your business?" ";? old nei;ro drew himself tip to Ivm (u he'ht nnd answered: "Iso been do proprietor ob do New 'leans Piccyuno fo' twenty ars." "Oh, you have been proprietor of The New Orleans Picayune for twenty years, have you?" "Yes, sah." "Well, I suppose you wrote the editor-ials then." 'Oh, no, sah; we had de editors for to do dat," "Yes? Perhaps, then, you gathered the news?" "No. sail, de reporters did dat." "You read tho 'proof, then, very likely." "Oh, no, no, no, sah, we had de proof-readers for to do dat." The editor became amused at the old darky, und determined to sea in what position his boasted proprietorship would land him, so ho questioned him in re-gard to the various positions right down the list, .rad still his function remained undiscovered. "Well," he was filially asked, "what was your position?" lie hesitated a moment and then an-swered in the most impressive voice he could command: "I'll tell you what, boss, if you wants to get some one to oil de joints ob you engine down sta'rs, I ken do it better flan any man in town." New York Tribune. Genu inn Affliction. "He took it very hard." "I should think he would." "Yes, he began crying, "She's gone from me; she's in heaven, and I'll never Sue her again.' "Philadelphia Times, To Suit IIir Hiisbaml. young Housplceoper (tolmtclier) You irmy scikI a nii;e pioce of roast beef. Buk'hc W's, ma'um. Young Housekfipppr And have it vory rare, iilciine; my husband prefers it that way. Harper's Bazar. A Nobirnian'a JMring feac. A Paris telegram says: The Prince de Rohan has accomplished a wonderful feat. He made a wager with Prince Torlonia that he would descend the stone steps at Monaco with a carriage drawn by four horses. The Prince de Rohan won his wager witliut auy mi- -i nan at 2 o'clock in the morning. j DOINGS OF ROYALTY The Prince of Wales has become a lib-eral patron of Gen. Booth's plan for car--r ing physical salvation to the London alums. Natalie has presented to the Berviau Skuptschina a statement the differences between herself tnd g Milan, her divorced hus-band. Queen Victoria spends the two hours i from 11 at night till 1 in the morning in 1 reading or writing. Despite her late hours for retiring to bed she is au early j riser. "l Sinco tho tragic death of her son, the Austrian empress has avoided the cap-- ' Ital as much as it has been possible for her to do. She most prefers the solitude of the vast forests which surround the i Imperial wsidoiwes. , The relations between the Emperor William of Germany and his mother , j have subsided from bitter hostility into I What Lord Ueaconsfiold would have de-- fined as "a sort of bad tempered under-- binding." The emperor has a morbid jealousy of his mother. Up to the present time the Empress Frederick of Germany has received tho Duke of Edinburg SJ.SOO.OOO, the Duke of Oonnauglit $l,;i0.000, the Princess Christian $SI0,i)0!l, tho Duke of i A Ibany 1(70,000, and the Princess Louise 1060,000 from the Rriiisii treasury. Dainty Pucka. A Belf;tt man iH so careful of his dneks that ho hauls them home on a hand sled and tucks them into their beds every uight. Ma's own baby coula not be more assiduously attended to, or sven a fashionable dame's pet poodle. Lewuiton Journal. ? Traiblod at Liv . Tne Enifl ish traveler stw( on the slip-- 1 pry dix'k at New York, ready to board the steamer for homo. Ilis American ' friend shouk him warmly by the hand Btid baile him fart woll. t "Be careful in going up the gangway,' tn'ii tho latter. "It is icy. For that j Ujutti-r- , how 'ver," ho added, "it will hi sea all around yon for the next sis Cr seven days." The Englishman, wi.'li a sad, dreamy, j prnx ennied look on his lace, went aboard i tl: y.-ar- p.itwi the American, next gr.iv haiivd old man, was cittim; Jotra j to bretiKfasr one dry wh-T- . a cal.l.'graitt. ?iir 11. w.:s handed tubitn. It wa ; Enluh friend and coutiuu"J j t'l.'M' : ha!" , . b.--d 'nir.'.i 'in wv throHaJi sis knJi j' 1 ' The Brnuk' Sane. through !' the drifti! gnowm That till tS woodland nuulc, la lispm? rri.-J-c llovrs The iliu-k- , uiililied brook. While windtnjr swift aloo(, Upon Its y way. Its sontr is but the sonn It sang in ro:iy May. Ah. brook, to sin. While winter ilnys depart Th irelinly of Kprtitjf T.iat t'lpi-'l.-- m iu heartl K. O. JlunkitUick in Ilirpec' WWy. I |