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Show I MR. AND MRS. BOWSER. The Head of Out Family Trie Sleeping In a Hammock. "Ilumph!" suddenly ejaculated Mr. Bowser the other evening as be sat reading read-ing his paper. "What is it?" "Nothing, except that I've been a fooll" The next evening he came home an hour earlier than usual, and he had a large bundle bun-dle under his arm. He didn't wait for me to ask what it contained, but unrolled it and said: "I propose to sleep in this hammock after this." "But where will you hang It?" "Oh, I'll find a plaoe. How stupid of me not to have thought of it beforel" Aftor prospecting for a while he decided on the flat, graveled roof of the kitchen, which was easily reached from an upBtalrs window. Ho found a place for the hooks and stretched the hammock, and an hour before our usual bed time he was prepared to occupy it. He removed bis coat, vest collar and shoes, kissed baby good uight and went out of tho window, while I sat down beside it to watch the course of events. Mr. Bowser had slnng the ham-mook ham-mook about three feet above the roof. He walked over to it, gave it a shake and fell into it. No, he didn't. It dodged him and he went down on his hands and knees and got up muttering: "Oh, that's your game, is itf Well, you don't beat me again!" It took him ten minutes to get stretched on his back in the folds of the hammock, and he had scarcely heaved the first algb of satisfaction when lie gave a kick And growled: "Consarn it, but the mosquitoes have found me out already! Take that!" For the next ten minutes he was busy with the pests, and it was while ho was thrashing his arras about and kicking his feet that the hook at the foot of bis hammock ham-mock pulled out, and Mr. Bowser came down with a crash on the roof. The gravel flew and he uttered a yell, and I appeared at the window to ssk: "Mr. Bowser, what has happened? Has the roof collapsed?" "Collapsed nothing!" he growled, as he hunted for the hook. "Hut what was that awful noise?" "I didn't hear a sound. I got out of the hammock to lower it a bit. Go back to bed and stay there!" When he though I had gone he fixed the hook and got back into the hammock, but I could hear him growling under his breath about pitch, gravel, mosquitoes and idiots, and I knew be wnsn't at peace with all mankind, for tho next half hour I could hear him slapping at the insects and twisting about. Then I suddenly caught sight of three or four boys skulking upthe alley. It was bright moonlight, and from the way they acted I knew they were "on" to Mr. Bowser. Some of them had probably proba-bly seen him slinging the hammock before dark and suspected bis design. They came opposite, stood in line and at a signal all let fly, and jumped behind the barn. Each one threw a potato, and while only one hit the hummock the others crashed against the house with a loud noise. "Jewhittaker! but what on earth Is that?" gasped Mr, Bowser as be sat, up. "Mr. Bowser, is everything all right?" I asked from the window. "Everything all right! What's the mat-tor mat-tor with you? Why don't you go to bed?" "I I thought I heard another noise." ' "Oh, you did! Well, I didn't. I wns almost al-most nsleep when you yelled out." I pretended to go away, and after a bit Mr. Bowser settled down on his back and everything wasqniet. Then the boyscamo out ugain. There were four of them. They had a hat full of missiles, aud each threw three or four before making a retreat. Mr. Bowser wus hit in tho head with a potato, and in the side with a tomato, and on tho leg with a cucumber, and the noise of the other missiles against the house wus like a cannonade. "Here whoa police!" shouted Mr. Bowser, as he struggled up, but at that moment the bead of the hammock gavn way and he wus poured out on the roof in a confused heap. Ho made two jumps for the window and got in, but not in time to catch me. Ho came into tho bedroom with pitch on bis hands und feet and gravel stones in his hair, and before I could say a word he began: "Mrs. Bowser, I'll get even with you for this, if I have to live 100 years!" "Why, what have I done?" "Never you mind! Look at mo! Aren't I a pnrty sightl" "Yes, but why did you try to sleep out there?" "You ask why you! Why why?" And lie wus so overcome that he danced around on one leg and couldn't find the soap and towel until I got up and placed them in his hands. It took him an hour to got the pitch off, and as he came to bed he said: "The train leaves at 10:80in the morning." "What train?" "For your mother's. My lawyer will open a correspondence with you there. I shall instruct him to deal liberally with you, and you can see our child two or three tinfes a year." Detroit Free Press. |