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Show I There was one compartment that was empty as far as people were concerned, but in each corner were rugs and portmanteaus port-manteaus that reserved the choice seat. . "No use going in there," I said. j "I happen to know," replied our con- j ductor, "that all that impedimenta represents rep-resents two men who have taken this J method of frightening people away. This i Is your best place. You will have two j neats by the window when they pick up j their traps," ' . . j I may remark that nowhew does the j elfishness of. mankind come out so strong- j ly as when people are traveling. I, who j had j list lieen hoping for a whole com- j partment for my party, was highly in- j dignant to find that two other unknown j persons had been actuated by the same I elfish desire. The rugs, valises and ! handbags were bundled into this com- j partment, my folks got in after them and I stayed on the platform to head off, if it was possible, anybody else. Two men, who were on the platform ginoking, looked at this invasion with undisguised anguish. They consulted together for a moment, and then one of them npproanhed me, "Do you speak English?" he asked, This was flattering. There was evidently evident-ly nothing in my appearance to denote that I could speak anything else, and so I admitted that I generally could make myself my-self understood in (hat. language. "Is that your party in that compartment?" compart-ment?" was the next qtiestion. "Well. I pay for them." "Ah! Well, you gee, my friend and myself have our things in there and you Bee wo were wondering you know --if the lady would object to our smoking." smok-ing." "Speaking off-hand I should imagine she would most decidedly." "Ah, then you are not a smoker yourself?" your-self?" "It is a vile habit if you will excuse me for saying so." "Yes, I suppose it is still if you will allow me to make the remark, I would like to say that when a man who doesn't Bmtiko condemns tho habit he simply does not know what he's talking about." "Possibly that is so." His friend, who seemed to think that he was not taking a sufficiently diplomatic, diplo-matic, tone, at this point hauled him off and they consulted together again for a moment. The hand of the clock was within a minute and a half of starting time. They evidently felt that whatever what-ever was to be done had to be done quickly. The speaker approached again. "I suppose you wouldn't mind our smoking if you were alone in the carriage?" car-riage?" "Oh, I could stand it all right, I expect." ex-pect." "Do you think the lady and children would object to going into the ladies' compartment?" "You may, ask her if yon like. I haven't the courage to make Mich a request re-quest myself. Tho ladies' compartment is pretty crowded." The man apparently thought it best not to make the request, and withdrew again for comfort and consultation with his friend. "What docs that man want?" asked the lady in question as I approached the comportment door. "He wanted to know if you would object ob-ject to going into the ladies' compartment compart-ment with the children." "The idea! So that they could have the compartment to themselves! Well, for downright selfishness that" "Oh, not so selfish as that. They want to smoke that's all." "Then why didn't you tell them to go into the smoking compartment I suppose sup-pose there is one." "I never thought of that. That's a good idea." I approached the two, who were still debating the matter. "It has been suggested to ino that if a movo hiw to be made" "Oh, I assure you," interrupted the previous speaker, gratefully, "that it is very comfortable in the ladies' compartment, compart-ment, and we will move the Uiggage with pleasure. " "I was about to say that if a move is made, why don't you gentlemen move to the smoking compartment?" The bliink look that came into tho two faces was a sight to see. "There are only two places in the smoking compartment, and" "Well, there are only two of you." "And they are all smoking vile French tobacco." "Is it worse than English tobacco?" "Worse? WelllBhouldsay so." "Then Lord pity the French." "En voiture, messieurs, sivooplay," shouted the gunrds, as they began to slam the doors shut. I turned and got into our compartment. The two men looked at tho clock, then, rushing for tho compartment, com-partment, picked up the!r belongings and made a break i'or tho smoking carriage. We had the compartment all to ourselves our-selves until we got to Lyons that evening. even-ing. Only one, were wo in any danger of intruders, but it was so lato ther, that I suppose they thought it was not worth while. At one of the stops tho man who did most of the talking to me in the morning happened to como past our open door. He seemed paralyzed as he saw me sitting there pulling away at a corncob corn-cob pipe. W'aen he caught his breath j he Baid: "English or French tobcra you're smoking'" "American. Don't you like it?" "I liko America)?, tobacco a good deal better than I like American check." I rather think he had me there. Luke Sharp in Detroit Free Press. GETTING STARTED. The letters "P. L. M." are a magic-combination. magic-combination. They are a sort of alphabetic alpha-betic "open sesame." P. L. M. is the enchanted gateway through which every na must pass to escape from the damp, hivery gloom of an Euglhih winter to the paradise of eternal sunshine. Tho old, the worn and the weary go through this portal to havo a refreshing dip in the fountain of youth; the sick go to get well avid the hopeless to die. The letters on tho northern side of this gateway might ,stand for piercing livid misery or pouring' liquid mud, or potatoes, liver and mvttton or pitiless lurid murder; and on tho; south for peaceful, lifegiving mildneits, or palms, lilies and mandarins or ports and lakes and mountains; but In plain literal meaning they stand for the railway called the Paris-Lyons-Mediterranean, limiting from the capital of France to the great southern sea and along the Mediterranean coast to the Italian frontier. A little. knrwledge is a dangerous thing, especially if that little happens to be wrong. I a lways had the idea that P. L. M. station was that terminus south of the Luxembourg palace. I don't know how this notion fixed itself on me; anyhow, any-how, when the o ab driver instead of crossing cross-ing the Seine took the rough stony street . on the north aid e of it, I thought he had mistaken my infractions and tried to tell him where to go. This attempt to give a Paris caiman information about his own city evwimtly amused him very much, and he proceeded to argue the point with me tail talking French while I confined myseli'.'to English but strong, , forcible English. I think a womeni takes a deplorable de-, de-, light in finding he c husband in the wrong. Anyhow, this rettiirk was made. "There is just oi e chance in a million that you are mistal :en and that the man knows where he is jroing." "Knows? He doesn't know anything," and to show that I was in the right I was indiscreet enough to pull out a map of Paris. I tried to fold it up again as quickly as possible, but waa not soon enough. "Exactly. The man was right after all. ' It's miles away and on this side of the river." "Go on," I shouted to the driver, "what are you stopping for? Drive on and hurry v.p." 1 Now, this idiotfo cochier seemed to think every time I tried to got him to move on that I wanted to reopen the argument ar-gument about tho position of the P. L. M. station. Ho wonld pull up his horse and turn half round in his seat towards mo and vehomently expound his side of the controversy. I realized that if this sort of thing was kept on we would miss the train, and I was just debating whether it would be better to murder the man outright and take the reins myself, my-self, or merely stun him and try to get to the station liefore he revived, when there came along a pedestrian who looked as if he were an Englishman. "I beg your pardon," I said, "but do yoa speak English?" ' "I have been accustomed to speak it," ha answered, coming to a standstill, "from my youth up. What tan I do for you?" "Nothing, unless you can also speak French." "Ah, there you touch my -weak point; still I know enough of the language to get cheated." "Well, I wish you would ask the driver driv-er what he is arguing with me about politics or religion?" There was an animated confab between be-tween the two for a minute, then the stranger turned to me. "The driver says that you seem a little wabbly in your mind as to what particular partic-ular station yon want to go to. He says he doesn't mind driving to any one station, sta-tion, but he declines to experiment with all the termini in Paris unless you hire him by the hour." "Will you kindly tell him that I want the P. L. M. station and that I want it bad. Ask him to hurry and hint at extra ex-tra compensation." When this was done the stranger was good enough to give me some hints that might prove useful. "If he doesn't move fast enough don't say 'go it' or 'hurry up;' he'll think you want to enter into conversation with j him. Shout 'Pressay,' and if that doesn't I do, punch him with your cane. They understand that, in every language. Don't hit him with the cane. He will take that as a challenge and hit back with the whip, but punch him gently and yell 'Pressay.' Good-by. Oh, don't mention it. No trouble at all." "Now, you villain," I cried, "Pressay or perish." He gave that peculiar "Youep" which French drivers so frequently address to their horses, hit the animal an under cut with the whip, then worked off a fusjl-ade fusjl-ade of sharp whip cracks that sounded like a succession of pistol shots and the horse broke into a dejected gallop, which finally worried us to the foot of thestone hill that leads to the station. The big clock showed that it was still five minutes min-utes to train time. This, on most lines in France or Italy, would be equivalent to missing the train, but the P. L. M. people run a modern railway, and so, with the aid of a good ungel, who, in-Btead in-Btead of having wings, had tho words "Thomas Cook & Son" in gilt letters on bis cap, we got the train. The ticket, which had been bought in London, wero now stamped by the railway authorities, and then the trunks were "registered." The system is not quite so good as the American plan of checking, but it is infinitely in-finitely lx'tter than the English way of trusting to luck and personal supervision. supervis-ion. A ticket with the nunil)er of the package and the word "Lyons" was pasted on the trunk, a similar ticket was given to ine. The cost of the service was one penny. Tm afraid." said Cook's man, after he j had seen to all these preliminaries, "that j I will nut be able to get you a compart- j ment to yourselves. The trains are j rather crowded at this season of the ! vpar." '( . . . . . . . I |