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Show WHEN AND WHOM TO MARRT. Rules That Have Been Tried and Seldom Found Wanting. Boston Globe. Whom to marry and when to many are grave questions that confront many people who have not yet come to feel that marriage is a lottery. Hence arise questions like the following: follow-ing: 1. How can I tell when I love? 2. Can I afford to marry, if poor? 3. What sort of a person will I bo happy with? 4. Will I always be loved? 5. Will I always love? 6. Will I ever see somebody whom I will love more? 7. Shall I marry young or bhall I wait until I am mature? 8. Should a man marry a widow? 9. Should a girl marry a widower? 30. Is it always well to marry if one loves? 12. What is love at first sight ? And many others. Ye who are married can best answer many of these questions. Only one who has made experiments in marriage in all its phases could singly answer all of them. And not unlikely -the result of such experiment would prove anything any-thing but edifying. I am, therefore, prepared only to give the result of my own venture in the matrimonial boat as a partial guide, completing the latter by giving the results re-sults of other men's and many women's ventures, or marriages. Probably the first approach of that tender feeling known as love is felt when at school a red cheek seems to the average boy lovely as a peach, and he respects the possessor for her gift. Maybe a big blue eye strikes him as prettier than any he has seen in the picture book mother bought for him for a Christmas present, and he wishes that he might have this living picture book near by to look at when he chooses. Now, she with the red cheek or she with the big blue eye may see across the aisle in the little school room a bright little fellow whose clothes fit as nicely and look as pretty as thoso on the doll sho takes delight in fondling at home. For a doll is the first object outside tho immediate household for which your little daughter shows and liking. The doll is her beau ideal. To win her favor one must conform to that model Its shape, the color of its hair and eyes, its clothing, sreak to her language mystic and full of moaning. To her it is the symbol of mother's care, first love, wifely devotion, and perhaps the incentive of thoso sweet flatteries that In after years may turn some poor fellow's head. The influence of the doll is never lost; it survives through life. Behind it all is the desire of possessing something to respond to tho feelings, and rather than not have anything we too frequently take what does not satisfy our desires. de-sires. And as our impressions of what we need are true or false, so will possessions posses-sions bring joy or sorrow, and when the question comes to us, whom and when shall we marry? we should inquire in-quire into our needs and ascertain just what sort of a partner will supply our needs. The question should never resolve itself it-self into whether blonde should marry blonde, whether brunette should marry brunette, or whether partners should ne or diflerent complexion. An investigation inves-tigation on the complexion hypothesis might prove entertaining, but would, I fear, bring us back to where we started. But to my answers: 1. You are in love when you absolutely abso-lutely need the object of you affection. 2. A poor person can afford to marry if marriage will increase the possibilities possibili-ties of escape from poverty. 3. You will be happy with the one whose tastes, education and moral views are similar to your own. 4. You will always be loved if you observe the above rules and do not lose sight of the fact that Still in mutual sufferance lies The secret of true living; Love scarce is love that does not know The sweetness of forgiving. 5. You always will love if you realize that obedience to duty is the only medicine med-icine for conscience, and that perfect happiness in this world tit least is but the shadow of a dream. 6. You will see somebody you will love more when your sense of duty becomes be-comes blunted, which will only happen in case you have not observed the first rule laid down. 7. Marry young if your nature has developed fully; if not, wait until vour nature has developed. Pmther than marry when undeveloped never niarrv at all. J 8. Marry a widow according to rules laid down previously. 9. Same as No. 8." - 10. Always marry if you truly love, but do not confound fancy or infatuation infatua-tion with the soble passion. 11 and 12. There is a love at first sight, but it is simply a quick and mutual mu-tual apprehension of similarity in tastes, education and moral views " |