Show Humorist Tells About N e has succeeded spring fever feer as an annual malady accord accord- according according according ing to IL II I I Phillips humorist An- An Analyzing Analyzing An Analyzing its symptoms and efforts inThe in inThe inThe The American Magazine he confess confess- confesses es that he is now suffering from new new- new new-caritis caritis in its most virulent form And Im I'm growing weaker every hour he adds Few men are arc im- im immune immune im immune mune The fellow without a car fells that gnawing urge to get one the man who has a car longs to trade it in for something bigger gel and better bet bet- bet better ter the plutocrat with a covey of br rickshaws feels the to add to his collection a few models with more filigree work the on pan pan- panels panels panels els As early as the Januar January r auto auto- automobile automobile automobile mobile show I first feel the craving to possess a car that has never been rained on But as much as the new models tempt me I push the idea away awa awaT T with a resolute Nothing doing The old car is like new The engine is a marvel there isn't a scratch on the body and the tires are arc good for another ten thousand miles About the first of February after gazing into the salesroom windows a few hundred times I say to my my- myself myself myself self I dont don't see how they can turn turnout turnout turnout out such beautiful cars for the money maney B By Washington's birthday I have probably received thirty r or forty circulars giving pictures of 1929 models and bearing an urgent invitation to allow Mr Ketchum to give you a demonstration I begin to reflect how wonderfully the makers improve their models every year and to realize that my car neds new fenders and its motor thoroughly overhauled Then around the middle of March I weaken and allow Mr Ketchum to call and give me a demonstration When this is over I am pretty well sunk Not much more is needed to pull me un- un un der under and by April the last urge comes I when several of my neighbors pass I the house in glistening new sedans and look condescendingly on my I last years year's car standing at the curb I That settles it it I go o to the telephone and call Mr Ketchum It is a curious thing how a new brand brand brand- brand I I new car will thrill a man Even if he has his last car only on-lr one summer there will be a certain zest in trying out a smarter model There seems se ms to be no sentiment in the of an old aid boat Back in the buggy days men became so fond of horses that thit they hated to see sec them sold and andI andI I have known people to wax sentimental senti- senti mental over the sale of oC a bicycle bi Cle that lead bad been in the family for a long longtime time But I have hae yet et to observe cb a fellow shed any tears when he has hasto ha j haj i ito to turn in a list years year's automobile for this years year's year year-e model I The minute a man lets lats his car cargo ero go O without washing after n a muddy heI spell of fails to get Act peeved when he finds hub a cap rusty and shows no emotion at the discovery that some some- someone someone someone one has struck a match on the door I I forI he is practically in the market for fora fora a new car I Well the automobile makers of I this country plan to turn out cars this and year they thay Wont Won't I expect to sell them to people whO have hae never had an automobile before There must be at least others like me The man who drives drive I the old teakettle designed by Rube Goldberg and 2nd s synchronized by The American Can Company Compan and boasts r Ive had it seven years now and I just cant can't wear it out has almost disappeared from American life liCe NO is responsible |