Show Possum ana and Goose Pumpkin ana and Tobacco BY SAVOYARD A big portly burly possum hoary with the fat that comes from rles In August In September and persimmons after Octobers frost has lIas made saccharine the th astringent juice of that noble fruit Take I say saya a bird like that butcher him as Caesar should hould have bave been carved let his lordly carcass take the frost of at least two fine nights after chill Novembers surly blasts Make field and forest bare Take that fellow i cook him with an anart anart anart art commensurate with his aristocracy in the realm of game and you have a adish adish adish dish fit to have been served from Junos kitchen when Jupiter had for guests Jasons mighty crew Catch this gentleman by shaking him out of a sapling in which he had been treed by a dog of the name of Hec Hector Hector Hector tor but on no account allow Hector or other more plebeian to worry him Have a split hickory stick and Insert Mr Possums tall tail in it and so carry him home In triumph and con confine confine confine fine him in an empty barrel in the smokehouse A B Morton of Nash Nashville Nashville ville Tenn says the should be named Clinker The next morning bright and early give that possum into the custody of one of our colored of the theold theold theold old school who understands his busi bust business business bustness ness He will lay the handle bandle of the ax ar across the varmints neck and put Iut an enormous foot on the hickory of it on either side and then take the animal by the tail tall and pull pun with all his might until the neck is broken That is the way to kiss a possum I have heard of barbarians shooting them I never saw it and would not for any consid consideration consideration oration allow It In my presence Mean Meanwhile Meanwhile Meanwhile while have a cauldron of boiling wa water water Water ter at hand In which had been some somewhat somewhat somewhat what dissolved a small quantity of fresh hickory ashes right out of the fireplace Blood in sufficiency had come from the ears and mouth of the possum if the executioner knew his business my old playfellow Alec could turn the trick to an exactitude and now while the carcass is yet warm wann plunge him Into the scalding seaMing water and pick him bare of every hair and do It rapidly b Then dress him and put him away to cool That night the following night and even the third night let him take the frost in the open air and he would be beall beall beall all the better if frozen stiff I And AmI here bere is the way old Aunt Car Carline Carline Carline line used to cook him She boiled him he was tender as aa butter in water that had floating around sundry pods of red pepper This became Im Impregnated Impregnated impregnated with the fat of the varmint and she stewed it to the consistency be between between between tween soup and gravy after atter lifting his majesty out of it Now here was where Aunt CarlIne and her lord and master Uncle Archie could not agree The old woman want wanted ed to iut Dut him in an oven oen with sweet and brown him hini Archie pre preferred preferred preferred roasting the Utters in the em embers embers embers bers and barbecuing the possum be before before before fore the fire bathing him every five minutes in the gravy that resulted from his boiling and finishing off oft the in the oven oen In which was first poured the gravy gra I have hae tried both Solomon could ouId not have hae made Judg Judgment judgment judgment ment betwixt the different methods of Aunt CarlIne and Uncle Archie Either would cause any common man to swat swallow swallow low his tongue about the middle of the feast Ie But that is not all Man loves bread as well as possum And now at Hal Halloween Halloween Halloween loween Is 15 the season of the lordly pumpkin The barbarians of New Eng England England England land degrade this gentleman by turn turning turnIng turning ing him into pie Civilized folk bring him to his legitimate destiny and make him a constituent element of bread When I was a boy bo the forest area of Barren county Kentucky was per perhaps perhaps perhaps haps ten times what it is now and killing frost was always tardy and as late tate as All Saints day dare Every farmer had his late patch of corn for roasting ears during Octo October October October ber In the last days das of ot that month the corn was In the dough and when it got a little harder It was plucked shucked and grated as you would a on a tin grater as big as a af full f ll sheet of foolscap paper peper bended over a board Talk about corn com meal the stuff but the season can cannot cannot cannot not last above two weeks otherwise we would not die at all we would stay so virtuous Remember Enoch and Elijah Well theres your meal Now get your our pumpkin not one of those pale yellow chaps but one of a muddy red reda a great big fellow Take the pulp from the rind and stew it to mush On no account put any sugar in it Pumpkin pie without sugar is insipid and with sugar it Is abomination fit only for pagans Sift your our meal grated meal meat new from the cob put in some crack crank cracklings lings the pig killed the day before af afforded afforded afforded forded them and your our stewed pump pumpkin pumpkin kin and make Into a mess of a con consistency between batter and dough dOUg Now shovel up the ashes where the hearth hearth joins the fireplace wipe the sur surface surface face fac clean with a dishrag put your stuff down In copious quantity lay it over Oer with cabbage leaves white and crisp cover with hot embers and then rake all the live coals in the fire fireplace fireplace fireplace place on top When done and served with rich sweet milk nutty fresh and sweet butter and the loin of a pos possum possum sum urn the man who has just swallowed a hog driver of old Bourbon would not leave leae that board at the invitation of Lucullus to feast with Lucullus when Lucullus supped with Lucullus 5 c i In the absence of the possum a fat green gr en goose will serve sere but to get the best results from that the feast must be pulled off at a still house and a moonshine layout is about as good as any so far as the savor of or tile the t e dish Is concerned The goose must Have been beena a gosling in April acid ad fed for the pur peso pese all the rest of the spring all of summer and throughout autumn until actual winter Now It Is i fat and ready for tor the artist Execute it by the bleed bleeding bleedIng bleeding ing process In the roof of or the mouth Not on your life shall you take a feath feather er off oft Dress it by splitting down the back caring for the giblets Let that goose take the frost for at least one night before it is dressed three nights would be better with added days Then when the doubling is off ers know what that means have ready your goose with the feathers on and stuffed with onions crumbs sausage meat the real sausage none of or your dog or bull beef a clove of garlic cut up a spice clove or two or three or four Then surround that i goose so prepared with a wall of r clay such as brick are made of roll the time thing now nearly as big as a barrel into the furnace whence the fire had been drawn put the coals back backover backover over oyer the mass sit down and play a game of with three other good fellows and good players with stakes just big enough to excite Inter Interest Interest interest est and too small to arouse cupidity keep the thing up till I in the morning when the crockery is I drawn from the fire broken with a sledge and skin and feathers adhering to the crockery and there you have a adish adish adish dish that had it been set before him would have caused Adam to reject the apple Imagine that with pumpkin bread possum and moonshine whis whisky whisk whisky ky k In which you could taste the corn cornsilk cornsilk cornsilk silk Some time ago I tried to tell what should follow a feast of or a broth of equal excellence with possum or goose and as of felicity and longevity I allude to a quid of tobacco I have not now that composition tion before me but when I saw It in print I realized that I had been guilty of a series of omissions and as I have been asked to repeat the thing by sun sundry sundry sundry dry persons who never knew it except from hearsay I shall now propose a anew anew anew new and a more accurate edition as follows viz In the first place tie the barrens of Kentucky is the land where the tobacco plant attains its acme There on a frosty morn in autumn the virgin wood exudes saltpetre and the soil soli Is fer fertile fertile I tile enough for hemp or turnip with without without out embarrassment to its exhaustless energies That was when I was a boy Rocky rough a sinkhole on every tract subterranean streams draining every square mile the Mammoth cave Just across the line the vegetable growth scrub hickory scrub post oak wild grapevine dense hazelnut thicket here a black walnut there a red dog dogwood wood everywhere May apple perhaps from the mandrakes with which Leah Leab hired Jacob of Rachel Go here and clear a patch in the late June or early July digging up all the stumps possible pile the brush and get all the rails you ou can of the post oaks and haul off there the re wood Leave the debris to rot till a aJ dry spell in Janu January January January ary then set it afire and dig up the remaining stumps Now plow it with witha a jumping cutter ahead of a very elJ nar narrow narrow narrow row bull tongue and harrow piling the roots Repeat this operation when the winds of March have made the ground dry enough for the plow after the rains the sleets the freezes and the thaws of February Get every root out of the way and again In April go over it plow and harrow In May Mo about the loth plow and harrow a fourth time lay the ground off as for corn three feet each way and then trans transplant transplant transplant plant the tobacco from the bed They used to make hills for this but that has been found to be useless labor When the plants have been set for some eighteen eighteen eighteen teen days go gf g over the ground with the I hoe and destroy all vegetable but the tobacco and be sure lure that your plant Is of the yellow prior variety vari ty If you neglect that precaution all your la Ia labor labor bor her Is vain Your tobacco toba will not be bt befit I fit tit to chew Now put the cultivator to It that la is laplow plow it as you OU do corn and cultivate It with double shovel shoel and hoe frequently this tobacco Is for local domestic use USI us not for market Early In July prime the plant and prime high enough ough that Is take off oft the bottom leaves that rest on the ground By the of Au August August August gust top the plant leaving from four fou fourteen fouteen teen to sixteen leaves on it Now sue suc succor su cor It and worm onn it dally daily and a sue suc successful way to worm Is by preen prevention prevention tion as follows Grow Jimson weed or 01 orthe orthe the edge of the patch put in the bios bins som corn a syrup in which a pinch or two tso t of cobalt had been dissolved It is a great labor ver I I Keep the suckers off oft and the worms worm off and let the tobacco get dead ripe 1 The dews of cool early autumn nights night help it t immensely giving It body ana atul ripening the nicotine I heard beard a mar who knew nothing In the world about tobacco sing the praises the tIme other da day of a pipe that took the nicotine out of or orthe the tobacco before the smoke got to the palate I ventured to say sy to him that I would as soon smoke corn fodder or 01 drink whisky from which all alcohol had been banished Nobody ever chew chewed chewed chewed ed or smoked or snuffed tobacco except for its nicotine and nobody ever aver drank whisky or wine Ine or beer except for the alcohol of it as well welt drink stump wa water water Water ter Then on some glorious morn of splendid splendid did October the season of Incipient In Indian Indian Indian dian summer when the fodder Is In the shock but ere the frost is on the pump pumpkin kin when the dew is heavy beavy and the all air allis f fis is crisp when the magnificent sun Bun o of such a day is well on his course in thi th heavens go into the patch and cut the tobacco hang it on the stick an aul 1 never let It mother earth Take it to th scaffold improvised in the patch a rails or poles and let it there then theny y ller until it is as the hickory leaf turned golden at the first touch of au autumnal autumnal autumnal breeze Let it hang for twenty four or hours and then house it in a barn tight enough to ex cx exclude elude clude the air Two days later fire it by bv means of charcoal heating the building to that degree that drives the sap from the leaf to the stalk and makes the stalk as dry as last years ears corn shuck v When the welcome rain of November that patters on the roof and makes sleep the sweetest of all Gods bless blessings blessings blessings ings has brought the leaf in case strike it down and strip it selecting the choicest leaves for chewing Then bulk it and as carefully as though you ou were putting It Inthe hogshead to compete for a prize In March hang it again so that the winds may make mak makIt it as dry dryas as un until until until til it turns to snuff at the slightest touch April showers will bring It In ill Incase ii case ease when It must again be bulked with all the care and tenderness and nicety of the November bulking with this additional Sprinkle on each layer a handful of peaches about t ta a peck of peaches to each pounds of cf tobacco And so let it be The sweat will come in the latter part of May Take it up some time between the summer solstice and July 10 stem it lightly spray It with old peach brandy Ir IT which new honey has been dissolved Twist it not more than seven seen leaves to the twist and not too tight lay it away in an airtight chest of oak that has been in the household time out of mind and when time comes the following November take a twist of that tobacco and it will beat boat any anything anything anything thing for chewing that ever came off the land drained by river and ami for smoking nothing ever came out of or Cuba to compare with It If you em tm employ employ ploy a homemade corncob pipe No wonder some forty doe dor tors starved to death In Barren coun cour courty county county ty where the folk In those days lived on possum goose and pumpkin bread and chewed and smoked that sort o n tobacco The very children perpetuated the virility of their dads and mams Copyright 1907 by E W Newman i |