Show Mr Dooley on the Presidents Activities I B By P Dun ne r r rI p rl lL I Well Veil sir said Mr Dooley I see seebe seebe 1 be th rs that a great disgrace has fallen on this nation I see be th ivry day that a great disgrace has fallen on th nation but this Is th Ut worst ost yet Good what Is it asked Mr Hennessy K I hate to tell teU ye said Mr Dooley too disgraceful Whisper per Th iv th United States has been beat at lawn tennis Worse Vorse thin that he was beat be a bishop Worse even thin that that he was beat be a heretick the bishop There it is in th in black nn an white was in his back yard waltin fr rr some wan to tome fome an perish his unconquered racket He had laid low th entire ad Root was lean In over a fence Taft was set settin settin i itin tin on th ground tannin with his bat Th rest of th tit cabnet had pleaded leaded sudden illness Ulness or business an Iced fled Th coort had said that as there was no fr a game iv h mixed doubles they the wad pick up their overskirts an go home an study stud th thO weak spots Iv th thO constitution constitution constitution Th had tilly grafted to their askin to tobe tobe tobe be transferred to or some someplace someplace someplace place where they cud live in compari comparative tive quiet I It begun to look as If Rosen felt was not goin to be able to get getUp getup getup Up a good respiration an might have to put in th doin doln a little exercise like th nire alre with Garfield Sicre ty Lobe poked his head through hole h le leIn in th fence an called out The t ShOP iv London is here with a tennis hat an says he prayerfully thinks he cud knock head off oft if ye give him a Bring him in says Teddy with a light tight laugh I have haye havea hayea a respect fr th clergy an Ill ll ony beat him enough to show him that t tat hes in a now where th state Is to th church he says He to see a stout man with a pink face an side whiskers knee breeches an an apron but In Instead Instead instead stead iv that a taU tall nimble athlete Jumped over th fence tence flung his cas cassock cassock cassock sock an beretta in a corner comer iv th thard yard handed his crozier to Lobe an cried Come on an th take takeI I mane HIven th right Well Nell I cant give ye all ll th details iv th bloodthirsty encounter as I read thim in th Im not up on lawn tennis There been a ten tennis tennis tennis nis coort used in Archey Road since I dont know We have thim Iv 11 but no wan uses thim always full iv th tho weeks w k s or somebody carpets In n thim or orth ortho th tit cow is down in thim In this part Iv the lawn tennis dent be recreation for us th tho labors iv th week steel girders f rr fr r six days das a man needs a hard days rest an he gets it be run nun nin twomile races fr four hours at a time or eighths iv beer with wan hand But lawn ten tennis tennis tennis nis must be a grand tough sport or like it I am goin to advise th young hammer tos sers an shot putters in this neighborhood to whitewash their over overalls overalls overalls alls an alt take it up It must be a good healthy exercise a mans thurly tired out an if opponents o game dont suit ye th net is niver so high that ye cant jump over it Th way w y its played is that wan man in white flannel pants knocks a ball b ll at another man In white flannel pants an th other man or lady knocks it back an Clarence rinds it over again an Percy returns it to him an so on till time fr rr a dish iv tea all I know about it but it ft sounds exciting Anny how in this here test iv 11 brute courage an mental th tit papers say was no match fr th bishop His grace give gle I him his blessing an what iver Iyer that is an bate him till he h was I black an blue to the pa apers But I dont believe it It aint a nt a device iv th plutocratic press to discredit our foremost athlete te not barrin Jeffreys No man will m con convince convince vince vinco me that Thaydore RO se th lh greatest 1 lawn tennis iv th He cud bate all th In bishops between here an an throw in th college iv i cardinals with thim It cant be Who iver aver heerd iv a bishop tennis Id as lave believe that wan iv thim was seen s seen en goin gain down to th tit cathedral on a motor motorcycle motorcycle motorcycle cycle or that his grace iv New York Tork had won th yard yarn dash at th tIt Gallic American games There must be some place where well have th thO best iv th clergy clar It If goin to jine in our sinful an beat us at them thim at that where do we stand as sinners If they are goin to come comedown comedown comedown down an teach us th evil iv our ways iv lobbin what are we gain goin to get out iv life says I How lIow am I goin to be sorry sorry fr th things I do if right No sir it t aint is still lawn Jawn ten tennis tennis tennis nis player an Im goin to post twin dollars with th iv me journal that he th thO Archbishop iv Canterbury in a lim limited limited limited number iv rounds or to a finish p fr t r success not barred m f hed been beat at lawn tennis I a Ii d be in retirement now an his re resignation resignation resignation be in th hands Iv l 1 congress con congress c n gress Instead Instead iv that he is out West sayin a last fond farewell to his fel fellow fellow fellow low citizens A few months now hell retire to th peace an quiet iv h do domestic domestic life An to his re retirement retirement retirement hes made a speeches peeches shook hands with five Rye hun thousand citizens an kissed a babies An Thaydore kisses a baby bab thousands iv mothers in all corners iv th tho land hear hearth th Hi report an th tit baby bab knows its been kissed an bears th scar scar I through life years now th will be full iv young young fel fellows fellows fellows lows lookin as though graj ted a German college Its been a sad occasion slon this lave iv a faithful servant to his sub At tin th comes in to th where a avast avast avast vast blage iv sorrow in people are gathered They The show their grief be sobbing Good boy We want ye again Down Dow with th Trusts rusts an another another another other signs iv grief As he steps off the a band plays I cannot make my m eyes ees behave an a crowd iv h sympathetic citizens takes thO th horses off his an hauls him to th public square where he makes a pathetic pa pathetic pathetic speech Fellow citizens fellow fellow 1 fr rr frI I 1 bar none in me one sympathies an are arc as in th control iv h this government as we arc are though not to be trusted with It in this campaign fr me retire retirement retirement retirement ment it gives me pleasure to see such a 0 ai magnificent an It shows th oer ready to begin th fight that I hope will end next in me triumphant election long an continued cheering as of De Paw university laughter daughter we have excellent ex excellent timber in th Ray nay publican party Theres me iv state Mr E Root Groans AVe We Ve will next pass lightly on to W V Taft Hes Hos Hosan an excellent good fellow Bill Taft Ye must know that or I niver have made him me Iv war an give ghe him a letter to carry to me brother th Theres two Ive named There are many others I cant recall but there are Theres Fairbanks Disturbance in the au Hes Hos been our vice fr rr four years an a good kind funny looking poor old thing he is too He has a failing as a ye all know But there are few iv us perfect Th ble with him is that th very smallest amount goes to but why mention it itI itI itI I aware Iv it I lunched with him an see him shaking a mixer iv cocktails in hi each hand like a min performer bones He says now I made th iniquitous but agreeable I dont d nt blame him Prior Poor p or fellow he f But I wish to tosa say sa to me here as that if Chuckling Charley Charle Fairbanks be to th pris we will all aU turn in an do our best to keep him away that per pernicious pernicious pernicious fluid that like an asp an like an adder those that dont take it If It secret service s officers officers cers cud be kept in th thO White House an ho he begins to take cough med medicine medicine medicine or calisaya lock him up till th cravin has past Indeed I have great hopes that he may m ther th habit yet I have now given ye Ivry reason I know why ye e cast im suffrage fr anny iv these men menI I will now speak a Iv advice to toye toye toye ye To th iv th Grand Army iv th Ray me I say dont be weaklings an milksops If It ItI I had had weaklings with me at San Joon hill th first great military action ac ion iv h our s how tea lew ew come up an me on th top iv h that hump To th mothers me I say sar bring up y er boys to keep on a a fighting edge I dont mean th kind iv a fighting edge a boy cud get at Charley Fairbanks house but that kind Iv a sober prudent sane that with th other things I have been able to do doin doin doin in a has made us th thO nation we are I now arrive arrhe at th thI I main point iv me an I ask ye to give me undivided attin tion Will Vill th tit little lady near th dure plaze stuff her apron in th tho mouth iv h that beautiful brat that will wan day grow up to be a Im sure Will th leman with th plug hat that I recognize as a fellow fellow Iv th Knights iv Pythias kindly set down Now men an women Iv tv the state iv all nil together three cheers fr tr the tion Hip hip hooray Thousands rushed around him to grasp him be th hand th Iv Jv states waited on him an 1 begged him on their knees to save his an their states be again In th he ra th Iv Jv th local as long longas as he lie wants it ft Marchin Club An in th evenin with bands fire fir fireworks fireworks works an little pelt tt in him with roses re returned returned returned turned to his his private car aha awant wint on onto onto t tto to th next retirement ratification ion Hes a man said Mr Ir Hen Hennessy Henness Hennessy nessy ness lie Itt is that said Mr Dooley Yet Weve not had a dull moment since m he hei been I dont know whether th is a suc success success success cess or r not Me differ Rosen felt says it is says It But whether Us a success or not its been Hes es a a man an th thing I like best about him is that in th tho dark ye can hardly tell him a Dye think he wants a third term said Mr Hennessy I 1 do not said Mr Dooley But hes a good deal like Hogan I wanted him to stay an keep me comp y wan night Ive got to go says he Its oIts Just as well says I Dorsey says hes i comin around at ten teu to throw ye out says I Thin Ill stay says sas Hogan As th matther stands at th ony people that can him are those that I are again him |