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Show THE LADIES. The three finest contralti of the day are American women. Chicago is agitating the subject oi a female assistant city physician. Queen's University, Ireland, has voted not to admit female students. The Springfield Republican wants all the girls to learn to swim right i away. I Vassar college has gone back on spruce gum, and two factories have to close in consequence. She tin need with Washington, and now she is dead. A fearful warning that our thoughtless girls should heed. The tide of reform sweeps gaily on. Most of the Boston belief have abandoned aban-doned the practice of powderine their noses. Mrs. Andrews, of Vermont, said she didn't care a darn whether dinner suited her husband or not, and a justice jus-tice fined her $7. The sitting-room of an Indianapolis couple is adorned with four divorces, handsomely framed, which tell sail tales of uld-tinie love. A woman in West Chester, Pa., recently testified that during her professional pro-fessional career of 10 years she had laid out 15,000 bodies. Nilssonhas sent a thrill of excitement excite-ment through Peoria by ordering the construction of a fence and a cowshed cow-shed on her premises. Pennsylvania girls are not allowed to sit up with their beaux Sunday night, as they are not worth a cent al. Lhe wash-tub next day. Mn. Jackson, of Nashville, a spirited spirit-ed widow, refuses to pay her taxes and has barricaded her house and armed herself with a shot gun. A Vermont lady fired a gun load of salt into a man who was plundering her wood-pile. She thoucht he ouch t to Like it cum grano. Female society at the national capital capi-tal this Winter is very much exercised on the question as to who made Alexander Alex-ander Stephens's velvet skull-cap. Madame Lucca, according to aNew York restaurateur, can get away with a bigger meal of victuals than any man he ever saw, except a Nevada trapper. Jane Bulson, an old maid living in Troy, committed suicide the other day. How much nicer to have married mar-ried and brought up a family of 12 children. I A Delphi belle dropped her wire symmetry in crossing a rnuddy itreet, and a gallant Irishman handed it to her with the remark, "Ma'am, here's your muzzle. ' ' You can judge how cold it is around St. Paul by the fact that a young lady froze to death in a sleigh while riding four miles, and a teller had his arm around her all the time. A Kentucky jury has just decided that $9,000 would scarcely compensate compen-sate Miss Tubb for the breach of promise pro-mise which deprived her of an opportunity oppor-tunity to change her name. "I stand before vou a convicted criminal." Applause. It is thus that Miss Susan B. Anthony begins hei speeches, while a gleam of triumph tri-umph illuminates her primeval eye. Miss Mary Dollar, of Indiana, has made a Mr. Roush give her her name four hundred times repeated, because he refused lo give her his name, according ac-cording to sundry vows and promises." John Tompkins, of Beaver Dam, stood it patiently until his inexperi-1 enced wile sewed an overcoat button i on to his shirt for the convenience of his collar, and then he suicided in the river. Mile. Albani, the young American songstress, met with extraordinary success at her debut at Moscow recently re-cently in " Somnambula," being called before the curtain no less than o0 times. -c:i.(.. : ir: ;sota have agreed not to marry any man who uses tobacco. The same number of men have banded together and agreed not to marry any female who uses false hair. A Mrs. Pleasant, of Fort Laramie, has sued a paper for saying that she has murdered threa husbands, when tho fact is Bhe hasn't murdered but two, the third one getting away with a broken rib. There is nothing like being accurate when dealing with such grave matters. The Detroit Free Pre says : " Mr. Bateman, of Harper's Ferry, remarked remark-ed that his mince pics weren't fit for the hogs to eat, and Mrs. Bateman 's body was fished out of the Potomac that evening. However, Bateman stuck to hie assertion, and offered to bet the undertaker $10 on it." |