OCR Text |
Show hustixo the Tinnn district ! (JtH'RT ROOM. The Herald amnn it- n-n icrous staff, editorial arid lujnjiifiiu), has unc gentleman not owr familiar with the main streets and leading avenues of this metropolis. Ho may not be unknown un-known to some of our readers, although he is to fame. IIU build is slender about the upper and lower limbs, with a wonderfully well developed adiposo fore and aft. His eyes, which have a startled appearance as if he had I been scared with the spectre of a grizzly griz-zly while rn the cradle and had never got over tho fright, are ornamented with a pair of New York gobies, bought in Paris, and tied on with a valuable tow string. His heavy mustache mus-tache lingers over the fading remnants of an imperial which looks mournfully up to his departing teeth; and his cranium is usually decorated with a I semi-military cai or something to hide his lack of hair, and this is pushed back till it rests on a hugely dcvel- 1 oped organ of self-esteem, like the jacket of a, potatoc hanging on the outermost nub of the "rose" end. So much for the man. Yesterday.,, eveniuj; we dispatched him to the third district court room that he might study the physiognomy of the grand jurors, and Lavator-likc read their past history and future destiny, des-tiny, which we designed to publish, no matter how unpalatablo it might have to ourselves. Telling him the court had moved, that it now occupied a splendid room on the main thoroughfare, thorough-fare, that he couldn't miss it, that the marshal would furnish him a scat inside in-side the bar, that the Judge was always urbane, and that if ho bad ever attended at-tended a melodramatic performance he would know tho grand jury at sight, &c, he departed armed with a sketch book, a sheaf of drawing pencils, a quire of paper for notes and an inexhaustible fountain pen of the latest patent. Hushing on to J'Jast Temple St. he throw back hia head till his nasal appendage was at an angle of three hundred and seventy odd degrees, and peered up at every building on the oast side of tho street, but without success. Having paraded several times between the post office corner and the Klephant store, ho finally, when his naturally vast stock of patience pa-tience was becoming rapidly exhausted, seized a gentleman by the arm evidently evi-dently a millionaire, for he was muttering mutter-ing about "torn," "silver," and similar simi-lar words indicative of unbounded wealth and whispering asked him where the third district court hold ifs sessions. The gentleman glared on him as on an escaped maniac, pointed hurriedly to a building, ejaculated "there," shook himself free and rushed rapidly away. Our intelligent reporter, of physiognomic proclivities, approached tho place indicated. Seeing See-ing some steps he descended them carefully and found himself in a long room supplied with tables and scats, and a counter at one side decorated with clean glasses, which seemed to bo the witness stand, and led him to think the court must be a liberal and jovial institution if it permitted the witnesses to solace themselves wilh lager nfter being pumped dry by the lawyers. Pacing the length of tlio room without seeing anybody looking like the dignified person of the judge, he returned to the counter and inquired, in-quired, "Is this the court room, sir?" "Ten cents a glass," said tho man of lager, scarcely turning to look at him. Repealing his question more distinctly, the dispenser of bibulants scanned him closely, and seeing reporter wntttcn on hia face as plain as phonographic characters char-acters could do it, respectfully replied, "No, sir; up stairs." Our man of sketches and letters carefully picked his steps to the street, and seeing a handsome lamp over the door way above, inwardly execrated himself for hia stupidity ut not noticing notic-ing so plain an evidenco of the institution insti-tution he was in search of. He pushed through the folding doors and found himself ia a well lighted room, with another counter on tho left hand, and a goodly array of bottles, bibulous liquids, clean glasses and a "smiling" countenance behind the bar. This tluic there wns no mistaking; it was a saloon; but beyond it was another room where he imagined tho " court must hold forth, nnd he secretly cou-: cou-: oluded the officers must bo a jolly set, for Iho sound of billiard balls met his ear, and on looking through tho glass doors ho saw, or imagined ho saw, the entire Utah bar handling tho cues and pushing tho ivories, while a gentleman, gentle-man, undoubtedly a judge, sat smilingly smil-ingly approving tho game. lie entered, en-tered, and as the awe of tho presence of law didn't strike him dumb, ho again inquired if it was Iho court room. A young gentleman, with a little down on his upper lip and three hairs on the j point of his chin, looked at him supev-j supev-j ciliously and waving his hand aa inajcs-j inajcs-j tically as if a cousin of the Grand j Duke, said, "Next doaw, my man I" i Abashed and confounded ho left, and, next door as ho thought, again ; descended to find himself surrounded ! with lager, Booth's oysters and cold i tongue. Banting a hurried retreat he ' rushed on to tho street ami iuto the door above, wh-Toho saw all the ehar-I ehar-I acturistics of a largo-sized restaurant. Completely demoralized he walked j softly up to the counter and blandly j asked, "Would you kindly inform me ; where tho district court room is?" I "Up stairs, next door," was the reply, : and our persevering representative i dashed out, hunted a way up stairs ! and ascended, until confronted by a j door through which a gleam of light j was visible. Ho tried to open it, but found it fast; ho tapped and a face i cautiously appeared. "Is this the j third district court room?" he inquired . for the fortieth lime, more or lc.-s, j when the countenance opened, and a voico issued from it, saying, "Go to tho d 1 ! wo play keno hero, not court." Limp as a kitten long deluged in a shower bath ho descended, and again reached the street, ju.-t in time to meet tho grand jury issuing from the door I he had so ollcn and so narrowly ; missed. Ho returned to tho offieo a j used up man, and incapable of doing ' more than writing a brief report of his hunt for the court room. Tho marshal will undoubtedly stkk a shingle out, that innocent young nun like our reporter may find it easily, and ! not bo led in temptation's way io such ' a closo surrounding of lager, spirit , billiards and keno. !, (.'..' ' iTuV'li d;;--': 'I (' r J.i'f - Cnl-.'n' m-ou: h il . 7-. i;;-J;:,':i; IL F UuLi '; li :) i-i. !i: ; '. ili-l Ci..:;.' k m t r ;: l; I ."; , '. -r , ii ij:: l: ' ' . ' V.' ' - - j w - . ri. i';; !; 1.:,:. : j iju .!V . v j K-4-iict, jK.,.-:; - ii..-':- .-. !V 1. ....... ; A :'C-"V.. 0:1 I:!: Win H i ii.. ii...; j .i-.:.;. .. y.n j, Mi.l.: . ! 1. . .. l' '.- ! vrv..i:..ij ... A . .1. .!..!. ui 7 - v. ! 1 J M i: ,' IT S ,1 ,,.-. 'II It i I'uihe, J .' ' :. ! M Mnrphv, h If Kiu , Wm iLv.-.;:.;; J li jiuU.n, J) Far 1 WW;, Jj l'j ijr;ii:'i r, i1': iruckii j', J":is 'i'M.-n J C.x-j.T. I- iL'Td OlUiii, al'ULlviuN, l.io. 0 ihi'c,-, (.) i-: B t;.--. Noah Hi:!. LlV:....-. . ;.. L.V..K.." .... G..oliK x Hi i;-;.sl':;a'cl co. ij 3 -i ult Lake City. ' .--mt Li:r. ll:-;:w.t Ornrn, Whi'. i;a .'.'.'.'.." I Jl h"i"."ui1, ' Lzz"'zz'. "' V .-:: u-', " . 1 T.H'J) 2 M ji'. -n.s i;;"u ;". n'' zz:z:zzz:zz::z 51 li.'..-. a, lf. i Ji :. " . ... ... S " . IV,;, " 'J Million." In I i:;:;--,V '-i.: ' " ! v.'i'i'.'i, Z'iZZZZZZZZZ '.. "J"o ;o I uijc-. L. , ;. :; -j oj |