| OCR Text |
Show A KICH MARRIAGE CREMO.T. ; A "imber of years ago there dwelt m -Uesoto a gentleman by the name ol Charles, h.tmg. If ever a human Deing was ovtrstoeked with good humor hu-mor and wagaishness, it wai that same Whiting, lie was up to all sorts ol iimrJcent tricks aud his. victims were umbered by the hundred' many or whom yet reside here, r If came to pass that this wag was elected Justice ut the Peace, and shortly after his installment in-stallment in office a couple came over from Iowa to get united in the holy bonds of "padlock." Whiting tell! how he performed the ceremony, as fol-lows fol-lows I Having been appointed to the desirable desir-able oosish ' of Justice of the Peace I was accosted on the 5th day of July by a sleek-looking young- man. and in silvery tones requested to proceed to a neighboring hotel as he wished to en-t-r into the holy bonds of 'matrimony Here was a ' 'squelcher. " I had never done anything of the kind, had no books nor forms; yet I was determined to do things up strong, and in a legal manner, so I proceeded to the hotel oeanng m my arms one copy of the Kevised Statutes, one ditto Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, one copy large-sized large-sized Bible, a small copy of the Creed aud Articles of laith of the Congregational Congrega-tional Church, one copy of Pope's is-say is-say ou Man, and a sectional part of the map, where the victim lived. Hav-ng Hav-ng placed a table in the middle of the room, and seated myself behind it, I in trumpet tones, called the case. With that the young man and woman,, with sreat alacrity stepped pp before me. Having sworn them on the dictionary to answer well and truly aJl the questions ques-tions I was about to' ask, I proceeded. L told the-young man that, . bein-- an entire stranger, I should ask him to give bail for the costs. Having heard this so frequently in court, I thought if mdispensible. He answered, "if I meant tue fee tor-performing the cere'-mony.-he would deposit it then and there.- As I did not know exactly what I did mean I magnanimously waived that portion of the ceremony. I then told him it would b necessary giic una iu aeep me peace, inis he said he was willing to do when he arrived home, and I then waived that point also. Having established to my satisfaction satisfac-tion they wanted to get married, and that ihey were old enough to enter into in-to that blessed state,. I proceeded to tie the knot. I asked him if he was willing to take that woman to be his wife. He said ho was. I told him that I did UQt require haste in the gnawer; gn-awer; that he might reflect a few moments mo-ments if he wished. I .told him she looked like a fine girl, and -I had no doubt that ihe was ; but if the sequel proved that he had been taken in, 1 did not want to be held responsible. I said he must love, honor aud obey her as long as she lined; he must not be "snappy" around the bouse, nor spit tobacco juice on the floor, all of which he promised faithfully to heed. "Now," paid I, "Georgiana"; (her name was Georgiana), ''yau hear what Humphrey says. Do you accept the invitation to become his wife; will you be lenient towards his faults, and cherish cher-ish his virtues; will you never bo guilty of throwing furniture at bis head for slight offenses, and will you get throe meals a day without grumbling ?" She ..,V1 ,nlrl . T octnrl flimn if ,K.- believed the commandments, and they said they did - Having read the creed and articles of faith, as aforesaid, I exclaimed. ex-claimed. "Humphrey, take hor, she is yours; I cannot withhold my consent." "Georgiauna, when safe in the-armsof your Humphrey, you- can defy the scoffs and jeers of the world." I then read a little from the "Essy on Man,'- including the pa3?age,"Alan wants but little here below, but wants that little long." As a finale to the scene, 1 delivered the following exordium, exor-dium, "Go in peace and sin no moie." The generous Humphrey having placed a"fil'ty cent elect iu my unwilling unwill-ing palm, I bade the happy pair a final adieu. . ... I |
