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Show . - - ' 1 !SH.,lJi. J" FOR THE LADIES. A married lady being asked to waltz, gave the following sensiDle, appropriate answer: "No I thank you, sir; I get hugging enough at home." The pretty English woman pick pocket who was recently arrested at a Western Sjate Fair, attracted attention, not fo much for her beauty as on ao-I ao-I count of her taking ways. Dr. Ellen B. Ferguson says truly that "a woman who can excel in cooking cook-ing is just as noble as one who edits a newspaper, or who may eventually enter our Congress or Legislature.'' A good deal of the consolation offered in the world is about as solacing as the assurance of the man to his wife when she fell in the river: "You'll find ground at the bottom, my dear." A Springfield (Mass.) paper says the cattle show in that city would have been the most successful ever held, if all who went to see Lydia Thomson's calves had attended. "Three-and-sixpence per gall," exclaimed ex-claimed Mrs. Partington, looking over the price current. "Why, bless me! what is the world coming to, when gals are worth only three and-sixpence?" "Mr. Jones," said Mrs. Jones, with an air of triumph, "don't you think marriage is a means of gract?" "Well, yes," growled Jones, "I suppose anything any-thing is a means of grace that breaks down pride and leads to repentencc." ' Wife, do you know thar I have got the Pneumonia''" "New nionia, indeed! Such extray-agaute! extray-agaute! You're the spendthrifestman I ever did see to go and lay out your money for such trash when I do need a new bonnet so much!" "How old is your mamma?" asked a ' love smitten old bachelor, of the daughter daugh-ter of the widow who had enchanted him. "I don't know, sir; ma's age varies from about forty-three to twenty-five," was the artless reply;- and the bachelor was disenchanted. A young lady was approached the other evening in one of our city churches, church-es, by a sympathizing friend, who asked, 1 "Do you not wish to get religion?" "Yes," she replied, "but not until the : 2d of January, I want to go to the grand 1 ball first." An Ohio youth who desired to wed the object of his affections, had an interview in-terview with her paternal ancestor, in which he stated that, although he bad no wealth worth speaking of, "yet he was chuck full of days' work." He got the girl. "How is it my dear, that you have never kindled a flame in the bosom of a man?" said an old lady to her pretty niece, who was portionless. "The reason, dear," replied the young lady, "is as you well know, that 1 am not a good match." A doctor was very much annoyed by an old lady who always stopped him ou the street to tell hiui of her ailments. Once she met him when he was in a ; great hurry. "Ah! I see you're rjuite leeble," .-a'd the doctor. "Shut your eyes and show me your tongue." She obeyed, and the doctor, moving off, left her standing in this ridiculous position. |