Show MASHERS MESHED R o x How Some Actresses Fool the Johnnies F I t r PRACTICAL JOKES ON THE STAt STA-t l Fanny Experiences that Brought Down the I + c House Belated by n Number of Footllcht Celebrities ELLEN TEKUYS RED SOCrI GOne G-One evening during an intermission of I I was one cf my parts a red snood which j to wear in tho next act got mislaid in some mysterious manner My maid and mysclf both rushed about in haste to find som Ji thing to serve tho purpose of the scarlet ribbon which was absolutely indispe i sable to my costume but not a thing could silk stockir vo find excepting a red Quick as a Hash my maid twisted it in m hair deftly hiding the heel and too as she did so When the curtain rose my costume I was complete but during the following im passioned scene I was nearly o overwhelm with laughter half the time to think of tho bit of fine hosiery figuring on my tralrlc j head ELLEN TBRUT I LILLIAN nUSSEL MASHES A DRT Goons CLERIC Ever since I wont on tho stage I ha e baen bothered to death with love letters from strange men who wrote they wished asked if to meet me invited me to supper they might call and sometimes suggest i that I give them some sign from the stag after they had described themselves thoroughly so they might know that I had consented to accept their invitations Of course all actresses have had the same experience ex-perience but I find mine has been astly amusing sometimes For instance one day I received a note from one of these mashe saying he had made up his mind that he 1 a I must meet me and that if I would let him call for me aCtor the theatre ho would KIve afforded If I J me the best supper the city approved of this plan I would please wcar a bunch of violets on my dress during that evenings performance It was when I was playing in the Grar Duchess at the Casino and in the sec > nd act I come on attended by six young Indies These girls I had previously taken into my confidence EO when we appeared on the I scene we were all decked alike in violet We also looked down immediately to where the fellow said he would be seated with bunch of violets in his buttonhole and sure enough there he was a little insIgnificant looking dry goods clerkif ever there vas one as his whole appearance signified his trade The young ladies and myse glanced at each other with suppressed smiles when one of them suddenly took a step forward and pulling out her arms as if she was measuring ribbon said just loud enough to be heard in the first row where he sat one yard two yards cash x t > h r i i ONE TARD TWO TAHDS CASK 1 t Convulsed with laughter I walked off into one of the wings for a second while the fellow picked up his hat and vanished LILLIAN RUSSELL nILE DAU nAT ASD PAIR OF SNCG F1TTIX G TEOCSEKS A piece of illluck on the part of one amy a-my company furnished the most intensel amusing situation lever saw And I laug now at the remembrance of it 1 was playing One of Our Girls at the Lyceum at the time and Mr Pigatt wh was in the company found at the last moment that thestapid tailor had neglected to return his evening suit which he had sent to be pressed A hurried canvas of his fellow actors i wardrobe disclosed the depressing fact tha f there was only one available swallow tai and that one about forty sizes too smalL I There was no time to delay however for the the stage was waiting so he donned suit and came on looking like an overdon lobster The trousers were not only mile t too short but were so tight that the whit lining of the side pockets was plain to bo seen In the scene it was necessary that he should sit beside mo on a low sofa and tv hen I invited him to do so the audience began to titter Once twice three times he tried il but it was no go And then after a look of l f ll11i1 c J h 4 i IiiT < 1i11 THJIEE TIMES HE TRIEO TO SIT DOW BESIDE f SIDE ME f t plaintive appeal at me who was absolutely convulsed he stuck one leg out straight in front of him and simply fell back on to the divan SomethIngpopped AS he did so and I dont believe that all the kings horse and all the kings men could have made him get UP again until that curtain went down B HELEN DOOABAT MAHIE TEMPEST AND HER JACK IS THE BO3 JOHXXIES Johnnies furnished A half score of addlopated j nished tho material for the most laughable incident of my stage career J I was singing the principal role in comic l opera called Flour de Lys and as I had t not been lone on tho stage I was convinced from the applause and flowers 1 received r every night that I had actually made a hit k While never a sufferer from what is nowadays nowa-days called big head I am prone to confess i that I was sufficiently inflated by the evident evi-dent impression I had created to feel that I was simply wasting my talents We wero If t making a tour of the provinces and 1 felt certain that London was my spot as your coal sellers used to say I mention this merely as an explanation of a piece of heartlessness on my part towards the poor Johnnies above mentioned who deserved better teatment at the hands of one whom f they dafly declared by post to worshIp to adore But to the incident With tho as gistance of iny maid a shrewd young cockney cock-ney I had gotten a list of real names and of about a dozen of Addresses my most per istant admirers and to each one I wrote a note in which I pretended to have become softened by his evident and delicately expressed ex-pressed affection for me and declared that ander certain conditions P would consent to an interview I naturally desire to see what you are like I wrote and if you will stand up at 0 e 0 C0 J 1 K J your seat in tho front row just after m entrance on Friday night perfectly still for J a moment two with your overcoat closely < buttoned up and your eyes cast carelessly toward the ceiling I can easily distingui you and will promptly inform you of tho verdict The night came and the theater was packed I could see through the peep holes in the curtain that my plot would boa bo-a success as every other man in the first row had his collar up abouthis ears Bnd was looking woefully solemn and painfully nervous The curtain went up about tho middle of my act my cue came and I ran on the stage Instantly like so many Jacks in a box ten men popped up in front on tho orchestra orches-tra rail and still as statutes stood staring intently toward the files 1 q I I I I TEX HEX STOOD STILL AS STATUES STARi G IXTEXTLT I had let the other members of the com pany into my plot and they were so convulsed con-vulsed that the audience saw at once that something extraordinary was going on I dawned on them at last and such shrieks of uncontrollable mirth I have uoyer heard In all my life The poor victims looked at ouo another aghast for a moment and then filed sadly up the aisle with a demeanor that would have made their fortunes as assistants to an undertaker MARIE TEMPEST MAIIIE BURROUGHS COLD KET ESPERIEKC A harmless looking brass door key was tho cause of a very unpleasant as well as i amusing quarter of an hour for me one night It was when I was playing the fast log girl in Judah at Palmers theatre The key was used in locking and unlocking unlock-ing the door of the old tower in which I tho pretended faster um confined during the test which is being made of my powers and which is given mo by my father who is n party to the deception which I am practi lug In order to have the key conveniei for use at a moments notice I slipped tho bar of icy brass down the neck of my looso white crepe gown a minuto before comic on the stage At every step tho icy key would change its position and at last the agony became unbearable I was also in 1 mortal terror lest tho key should fall to the floor and tell its oivn story So on apr tended pretext that I heard someone sp preaching I slipped behind one of the wood wings and removed the offending Prop MARIE BuRnucGns IEXXIE TEAMAXS DRESS EARLY COMES OFF An embarrassing and yet irresistibl funny incident occurred to me when I was laying Our Jennie at the Windsor theater the-ater several years ago My old father sits on a stump whittling a stick and I in a half torn dress and ragged hat am standing besIde be-sIde him talking This particular eveninj just at the above point I felt the fastening son s-on my dress give way and the skirt slowly Iropping to the floor Still talking I en ieavored to get across the stage into the wings to fix things up but he not being used to seeing rot move away in that part > f the scene suddenly looked up and said iloud Whats the matter Jennie Finding that the attention of the audience nee was by tbis time drawn to me I resolved re-solved to put a bold front on the mattsr sTalking s-Talking back at the same time pulling my dress into place and pinning it 1 answered soberly My dress is coming off Tho applause and laughter as you can magine was instantaneous JENNIE YEAMAXS GO IT LILLT POST My first professional engagement was in San Francisco where my home Is I wai sInging the part of Josephine in Pinafore Pina-fore and my two little brothers aged 10 and 12 were exceedingly anxious tq see men me-n the stage My mother had expressly forbidden then to come to the theater but one night after being sent to bed they let themselves onto he window and speedily made their way to where I was playing Between the first and secoud acts word was brough to me by one of tho employe hat two little boys were outside and demanded de-manded admittance by insisting that they were Miss Posts brothers Much amused I sent out word to admit them and charge the scats to me which the manager did and the delighted boys were sent up in the allery In the rush and hurry of changing costumes cos-tumes actually forgot all about their coming com-ing and waited calmly for my cue to go on gain As I stepped on the stage from the left wing and walked toward the centre nspine my horror when a chorus of two hildisn voices reached my astonished cars Go it Lil youre looking great I t Y 1 i W a L v 11 M IT Lit TOrRS LooKING GREAT cut urcss la a beauty they cried i Chagrined and angry I went through rith my solo some way I shall never know bov Everybody on the stage was con ulscd with laughter the audience glanced up at the gallery with much amusement and curiosity and I folt as though I could hwo strangled the children with a good graco When I came out of the theatre they had iready goneso I went home inwardly owing vengeance but when they camo down to breakfast the next morning and rushed up to me saying Wo were awful proud of you last night Lil I hadnt the heart to demand punishment for the little renders LILLY POST ICE FISCHER AND THE WALKING CORPSE I had just begun to get easy in the first and part I ever played the Princess in Frank Mayos Nordeck when my funniest thing happened There was no leatro in the town Marlborough Mass I think it was so wo played in tho rink which bad Just had a stage put in and e erything was in a state of chaos At the end of tho fourth actwhere I find that my favorite son Leo who is brought in on i a bier has been killed instead of Woldo mar the one I hate tho curtain supposed to come down Well this night it didnt Something had gone wrong with tho pulleys and there we all stood looking like a lot of Eden I Musco figures One of the supers finally broke the spell by giving vent to a very audible smile and then we all walked off the stage headed by Mr Mayo and followed by the corpse who was actually holding his sides to keep from roaring with laughter ALICE FISCHEB JIGARET MATDER RELATES AX AMUSING EXPERIENCE It was the first night of my production of Joan of Arc and tho music which was the same as given in the Porte street MarI Mar-I L Version was particularly long and tedious tedi-ous Each act had beau vefy much dared da-red and I felt that tho audience as well myself was becoming tired out In the 1llSt > act just as Joan is about to be carried t thostako one of the villains in tho play who had conspired from the first to ruin I i k tt Joan is uddenly smitten with remorse comes staggering on to beg my forgiveness forgive-ness and falls at my feet crying I am damned Tho chorus should here take up the cue and chant a dirge but not being perfect in the part or else confused by the long waits they failed to take the line whereupon the leader of the orchestra becoming be-coming very much excited arose to his scat and waving his baton frantically towards the girls and men on the stage cried I am damned I am damned MARGARET MATHER MRS LAXGTRT IS WARNED It was while playing Antony and Cleopatra Cleo-patra at the Princess theatre London that this incident happened to me In the last act as you know 1 was surprised by several Roman guards who come through a window at the back steal softly downstairs down-stairs and take me Cleopatra Charmian and Iras prisoners Ono evening during this scene a lad in the gallery evidently much excited called out loudly Look out Missus the swaddles are coming downstairs down-stairs As you may imagine it quite upset both myself and tho house for the rest of the evening Mrs Langtry relates the above as one of her most pleasing experiences ADELE PORTER |