Show THREE ADVENTURES Bits of Mrs Wilcoxs Domestic Philosophy THE WATERBURY CIRCUS lawyers Incomes a Webster Murder Case Clerk and Cashier Science of Beggiog Enjoying August NEW YORK Aug 2SSpecial correspondence corres-pondence of THE HBHALDAnd how many wonderful i adventures and narrow escapes have you experienced one of us asked the colonel who had not spoken for some time though we were telling stories of moving accidents by flood and field of which he must have had his share as a brave soldier first and since as journalist and lawyer Three he replied sontentiousy and after a pause went on The first was at Bull Run It was very simple and not impressive in the telling At the time when a retreat had been ordered or begun without tho order more likely I found myself separated from my command and within a few feet of the Confederate lines I Just as I turned my horse to ride back to my regiment I was struck a downward blow upon the head by a fragment from an exploded shell I knew nothing further what happened but I afterward learned bat I had ridden SOB yards and fairly into our own lines before tailing from my horse A surgeon would find it hard to believe that I could ride so far unconscious and with such a wound but it is true And the second II Well that was a long time after along long time as it seemed We had fougnt nearly through the war and after half starving with a corps of invasion had I pierced through the country to tho Gulf How we enjoyed the rest and the beaches 1 One day I was riding along the beach at low tide when my mare shied and refused to go farther Foolishly I urged her on Again she tried to stop and again I oom polled her to go ahead until all at once she began to sink trembling in every limb and I began to understand that I had fallen into a quicksand In spite of her plunging and rearing the animal went lower and I lower until to relieve her of my weight I I jumped off the saddle and then I began to i sink too Presently the mare was in up to her back and I to my armpits I spread my arms out along the surface to hold myself up as long as possible It was useless to scream there was no one within hearing I had long ago given myself np for lost when by accident some of our men came riding up Still I was not saved They could not safely come near me until one of them galloped off and presently returned with a lot offence rails With these they built a sort of mud causeway cause-way and finally pulled out not only me but my mare But I had only fifteen minutes to spare The third narrow escape Was also one of carelessness I was on a fast moving railroad train and in passing from one car to another fell between them and a little atone at-one side breaking one arm I still held on by the sound arm and being something of an athlete in those days tried to throw myself back upon the platform Four times I tried and failed and then I know that with the pain of the wound and my exertion my strength was rapidly going It was then or never I made a fifth and last effort straining evrry power of body and will to the utmost and succeeded Somehow I groped my way into the car and fell at once into a seat and a dead faint THE WATERBURY CIRCUS Reporters dont always enjoy the errands they are sent upon especially those requiring what Is called cheek said one of the Past Masters of the art in a little gathering of kindred spirits the other day Do you remember Water burys private circus in his gorgeous barn a few years ago Every one did Of course said the Past Master Waterbury didnt want any reporters at that circus but every paper sent one some of them two and a very fine looking sot of men we were in our claw hammers and white ties The private secretary met us He didnt quite dare tell us to go back to the city again What ho did say amounted in effect to this that he was deuced sorry wo came but supposed hed have to put up with the inflation Of course we said we were not anxious to mingle with Mr Waterburys guests but merely desired to see the show for business reasons So the secretary put us in a little gallery away up aloft which had evidently been reserved for the house servants for presently they all came crowding in and the cook in her excitement sat down in my lap and another an-other maid leaned over my shoulder I wasnt married then and wasnt used to having a woman sitting on my knees so after a little while I gave the cook my chair and went down stairs Outside the door an usher saw me and as looked as well as any of the guests he thought I was one and was just taking me inside when we met a little man looking very pale and very stern That was Waterbury Where are you going ho asked 11 was looking for Mr your secretary sec-retary I replied I think youll find him outside said Mr Waterbury with meaning emphasis And outside I went Of course I went back to the office after getting all the facts and wrote a most glowing account of the glories glor-ies of the circuis and then I told the editor that not one of us reporters had any business ness there and that in future I would never go to any social event to whicn the paper had not been invited to send a man And I never did People sometimes seem to think a reporter enjoys being cheeky but he doesnt The longer he stays in the business the more he enjoys being off duty so that he can be as unprofessionally mild and meek as the next man MRS WILCOXS DOMESTIC PHILOSOPHY I dont know why Ella Weealer Wilcox the expoetess of passion should have taken it amiss that one of the New York newspapers newspa-pers inferred that her summer homo The Bungalow was bought with the earnings I of her own pen but she did Some women 1 less gifted would have felt complimented I No so Mrs Wilcox from whose pen I have 1 seen the following protests and explanations explana-tions accompanying a note to the editor I am aware that it is the fashion of the day for the advanced women to carry tho purse earn the money and provide the home for the family However the good old system now and then prevails The man whose name I am so fortunate as to bear planned paid for and named the Bungalow Every article of furniture was of his selection and purchase Aside from placing credit whore it belongs be-longs I wish to save the young literary aspirant as-pirant from false ideas of the profits of literature Where a woman is fortunate enough to have her private income for doing good and for an occasional luxury very well but it is a misfortune when her delicate shoulders must bear the burden of building houses and providing support As a youhg girl I bore a burden of this kind As a happy r married woman not ono care of providing one dollars worth for myself has fallen upon me And yet the editor who got the letter must have reflected women doeven married mar-ried womenearn money enough by writing writ-ing to buy many bungalows sometimes because be-cause they have to and sometimes because they want to The bungalow cause of so much dispute is a little cottage by the sea pretty enough for a passionate son stress and tiny enough for two souls who would never bo far separated sep-arated WOODCHOCKS AS PETS Have you ever known a woodchuck to display affection for a human being 1 have not though I have seen one apparently ap-parently rabid attack a man without cause However there must be in the woodchucks wood-chucks grovelling soul some capacity for devotion for a New York lady who has a summer home at Binghamton has trained a couple of them as pets And though 1 have never seen them I know they must be well behaved pets for a certain photograph of them with their gracious mistress in the modest background was exhibited to me the other day and the woodchucks had be haved admirably under the cameras eye looking indeed not unlike dogs in their attitude toward their mistress Perhaps woodchucks souls are pot grovelling at all in spite of their underground ways Another photograph of this summer homes glories reveals a room with seven dogs nestling about on and under a couch 1 It was one of the dogs which Drought home the woodchucks in their babyhood Whether Whe-ther they quarrel now I dont know And still another picture shows a lot of horses from all which circumstances one feels inclined in-clined to envy folks who have so many beautiful or strange pets A TITLED ASSEMBLT Happening to visit Providence R L a few days ago I was invited out to lunch in the favorite restaurant of the place by a business man who knew pretty much very body in the room As he pointed out the local celebrities I could see how living in a small State increases the distinction tinction of a casual gathering I have an impression that nearly every man in the room was either an exGovernor exMay or State Senator Municipal Councilman or other high official and the prominent citizens shone with startling distinction in titled rank The Providence business men have one mighty good trait besides the others usual Isawhere They know how to take life easily As I understand it once a week during the entire summer about 150 of the best > known men in the place go down the bay at midday to eat lunch at a club house overlooking the water They are gone about three hours and a half and nothing seems to suffer in their absence Not infrequently in-frequently tho clerks take their turn Imagine a lot of New York business men leaving their offices from 12 to 3 of a good business day to take lunch at Coney Island Yet if they did take life a trifle easier they might look as robust and happy as do the Providence men and they dont now by along a-long chalk LAWYERS INCOMES The statement hazarded by some one George Ticknor Curtis I believe that Webster spoke complacently of an income of i5000 a year from his practice when at the height of his career has set lawyers upon comparing incomes of past and present pres-ent days Nobody knows how many New York lawyers law-yers are earning more money than Godlike Dan earned A mere catalogue of them if there were anyone competent to prepare it would looK as tedious as a tax list sale They wouldnt all be well known lawyers eitherChoates and Newcombes and Ev artses and Tracys nor all line orators L commanding L presence like uau jjuuguuny ana iiesiio H JLtUB sell nor all resplendent in yachting lannels and diamonds like William F Howe In the list if it were correctly compiled would be many a staid office l lawyer of whose existence nobody hears real estate experts snuffy old drones from Nassau street hives and all sorts of queer fish I declare that when I consider how hard i t is to earn 15000 a year it seems queer t 0 see such a lot of people successfully accomplishing the feat ENJOYING AUGUST In the trying August weather which made so many outsiders curl up and die 1 do not remember of hearing of a single foundryman getting prostrated by heat and for the excellent reason that its about 1 40 degrees or upward in their warm berths next the melting iron at any time of the year The degree of heat which people can bear when they are used to it is certainly astonishing The foundryman or iron moulder always wears a flannel shirt That is one precaution precau-tion not against heat but against taking cold in drafts They drink gallons ol water sweat profusely and get along very well You see they really enjoy the summer sum-mer Its so nice to get out of the shop and find the thermometer only 95 THE WEBSTER MURDER CASE The end of the Webster case will surely be to blast the political career of one petted society darling of New York who is sup posed to have some pull with the courts of justice The woman in the case is an extremely ex-tremely unsavory character How about the character of the man who lived with her bought her off when his marriage and his political aspirations mafia her inconvenient incon-venient and has now stood between her and justice to avoid a scandal Is the woman so much worse than the man 1 And if the electrocution cases are pushed against the newspapers one of them is likely to getmad and tell the young mans name CLERK AND CASHIER What queer sentences one catches some times out of a throng of carelessly talking menMy head clerk and cashier quarrel so that I shall have to discharge one of them I heard a man say in a straet car Which will it be asieed his companion The cashier But isnt that ungallant Shes a woman I know that but theres no room for sentiment in business I can get another woman for a cashier but it would bo bar tohow dye ao Jones As I was saying But I heard no more SCIENCE OF J5EGGING There ought to be schools of begging The science of begging is but poorly understood under-stood There is a blind man who sometimes gets upon a railroad train at a certain New England station trying to sell a little poem which relates how he and his four children were all stricken sightless in a single night This does not excite pity but rather curiosity how the singular coincidence could happen It would be much better to have a greater variety of calamity Say that the father was blind the oldest child a cripple from birth the second mentally weak the third in jail and the fourth u dude That ought to Inspire pity and lead to prompt relief THE ELECTION CARS A countryman watching the mining op erations on Broadway for the cable rail road stood talking audibly to himself Bgosh said he Id like to come back to YorK in a year or two when they got the election cars all a running OWEN LANGDON |