Show 4 qOJFfP VOCEr f CnZERY OLD OEKT to lady whose husband hus-band has just died3 fact of which the old gent is ignoraut Ah how de do Mrs Smith dow de dot How does Mr Smith stand the heat lIt TUY LYScacn the wrong manout in Montana the other day and them the chairman of the vigilance committee itfcd toigo round and apologize to the iwidojrf and he states that his frank acknpwIcdgmcnt that be had blundered and the laugbwas on him didnt seem to satisfy nerHoyt WE LEAPS with paroxysms of joy that tLc Grand Army boys having permanently perman-ently adjusted the Chinese question the coast are about to return eastward and pastant will drop down on Salt Lake and fake another whack at polygamy polyg-amy and free lunch Therefore come all ye that are truly loyal and bribe along your provisions It is jUlt as essential es-sential that the visitors be taken in tow by your loyal citizens on their retuin trip asit was before and no doubt the Pavilion can be obtained for the camp fir fiis formerly So send along your provisions Ther may be ma contents in our midst who may urge that now the G A R have met and reioluied and put an antiMormon plank in their pusza that the object for which the camp fires were kindled is atnined and while this may be partially tnie jet how would the battlescared veterans of Utah feel if some prominent Grand Army men were to return in an unguarded moment and accidentally learn the truth about the Mormons Where then would be our hopes for next seasons antiUtah crop 7 Nay fellowpatriots qttinal vigilance and beer is the only price ol safety tHence send along your provisions The same gentlemen who so competently managed the former affair it is understood under-stood ore eagerly frantic to have charge of another just ass pastime Names f eo eftr l Snds sf of merchants and business men who are called upon to donate will not be published so that they run no risk of losine any of the patronage of the people peo-ple whom they assist to traduce All tricks will be nicely covered Then send along your provisions The same orator ancTftje same ideas will of necessity have to beuscdand while some of the statements may seem eccentric and u ntrue yet there will always be enough of the tried and true present to do tbe ebouta and murmurs and the enthusiasm will D3 supplied by them in a measure and all will be well if only the truly loyal will send along their provisions General Iiickson Captain Bennett Chaplain McXiece i Private McBride and butler McKay have already al-ready c volunteered and are eager for the tray Some of them are also eager for the provisions so dont forget te send them along Hams and other articles in quantity and kegs taken at the west door A KDMOC was afloat yesterday to the effect that a Grand Army man returning return-ing from San Francisco was seen to enter a drug store and buy a glass of soda Some say it was true and some say it was not WE ARE asked if the Mormons do not misjudge Powers We answer no the Mormons do not miss Judge Powers JUDGE DICKSOX in his great anti Mormon oratloujat the Pavilion said that the clique he is a representative of did not want the offices in Utah they only wanted tbeMormons disfranchised TIle disinterestedness of Judge Dickson u about as apparent as was that of the old soldier who having lost both arms in the war went about with a collection collec-tion box swung around his neck ana a placard pinned to his breast bearing this inscription It is not money L want but someone to scratch my back ECREE TilE Tribunes Bishop West is unearthed at last In yesterdays i sue it names him as one of the Mormon lobby in Washington last II spring As the onlv person of that name who was in Washington in the interests of Mormons was Hon Joseph A West of Ogden doubtless he is the celebrated ecclesiastic hitherto hither-to supposed to be a myth Now if the tribune can only succeed in proving that Mr West was once bishop of Juab that there exists in newspaper dam a correspondent rejoicing in the soubriquet of Tobias Toby and in performing per-forming other and impossible feats maybe it can inveigle some of its readers read-ers into the belief that it did not draw entirely on Its own diseased imagination imagina-tion for that choice bit of Sunday momings > leasantry which hasten so stnbbornratick in its craw ever since the facts came to light |