Show AUNT HETTY ON MATRIMONY now girls said 4 aunt hetty put down your embroidery and worsted work I 1 do something sensible and stop building air air cas ties and talking of lovers and honeymoons honey boney moons it makes ime flie sick its perfectly love is a farce mitri matrimony mony is a humbug husbands are domestic napoleons po leons heroes eroes alexanders sighing for other hearts ito conquer after they are sure of you yours rs the honeymoon is is as short lived as a lucifer match after that you may wear your wedding dress at the wash tub and your 0 ur nightcap to meeting g and your husband wound know it you may pick ap your own pocket handkerchief help yourself mal I 1 to a chair and split your new gown across the back reaching over the table to get a piece apiece i of butter while he be is laying in his breakfast asif last meal he should eat in this world when he gets through he will aid your digestion while you are sipping sipping your first cup of coffee by ask asking ia what you I 1 have for dinner if the cold lamb was all ate yesterday it if the charcoal is all out and what you gave for that last green tea you bought then he gets up from the table lights his cigar with the last evenings paper tl that bat you vau have not had a chance to read gives two or three whiffs of smoke sure to grive give you a headache tor for the afternoon and just as his coat boat tail is vanishing through the door apologizes apologises I 1 0 aises cpr r n not doing that a erran errand for or you ou yes yesterday eri I 1 thinks hinks it doub doubtful ua if lie he can to dry so pressed hesed esith wit b business i sall hear of him at 11 C ta taking fingan an ice cr cream e with itai some ladies at vinto vinious Vin tous I 1 while bile you ou are at home new lining his coat sleeves chil children by the ears all day cant get et out to take the air feel as crazy as a fly in a drum husband comes home at night nods albod dye do fan boxes charleys ears stands little fanny in the corner sits down in the easiest chair inthe warmest coiner puts his feet up over the grate shutting out all the fire while the babas little pug nose grows blue with the cold reads the new newspaper paper all to himself solaces solaced his inner man with a hot cup of tea and just as you yon are laboring 9 under the hallucination that he will ask you to take a mouthful of fresh air with him he be puts on his dress gown own and slippers and begins to reckon up the family expenses after which he lies lids down on the sofa and you keep time with your needle while he snores I 1 still ft 11 9 0 next morning ask him to leave you a little money I 1 he looks ayou at you as if to be sure that you toll are in in your right mind draws a sigh long enough and strong enough to inflate a pair of bellows and asks yau vou what you do gracious kingl king as if those i and stockings and petticoats could be thadford had for kalf balf a collad oh girls set yo your ur affections on n cats godles doodles poodles les parrots or lar dogs but let matrimony alone the hardest way on earth of betting getting a living you yea never know when your work is is done one up think of carrying eight or nine children through the chicken pox rash mumps and scarlet fever iome of 1 esa m twice over it makes my head ache to think of it it oh yo you u may scrimp and save and twist and turn tarn and dip dig and delve and economise econom ise AND DIE and yota lowr husband Isas band will marry again and take what you nave have saved to dress his second wife with and shell sheli teke take your portrait tor for a fire board but the talking ill warrant every one of try it the first chance you get theres a sort of bewitchment L witch ment about it somehow I 1 wish one half of the world fools and pother half idiots I 1 0 do 1 O oh detail olive branch |