Show f copy right secured i LIFE OF JOSEPH SMITH friday morning brother hyrum smith called to see me and road read a letter that he received from william in which he asked for gi ivaness i veness for the abuse he offered to him at the debate abate he tarried most of the forenoon and conversed freely with me upon the subject of the difficult difficulty existing between me and brother william ie he said that he was perfectly satisfied with the course I 1 had taken in rebuking him in his hia wickedness but he is wounded to the ve very soul because of the conduct of william and although lie he feels the tender feelings of or a brother towards him yet he can but look upon his conduct as aa an abomination in the sight of god and I 1 could pray in my heart that all my brethren were like unto my beloved brother hyrum who possesses the mildness of a lamb and the integrity of a job ands and in short the meekness and humility of christ and I 1 love him with that love that is stronger than death for I 1 never had occasion to rebuke him nor he me which he declared when he left me today to day this day rebe received ived the following letter from bro wm win smith brother joseph though I 1 do not know but I 1 have forfeited all right and title to the word brother in in consequence of what I 1 have done for I 1 consider myself that I 1 am unworthy to be called one after coming to myself and considering si what I 1 have done I 1 feel as though it was a duty to make an humble bumble confession to you yon for what I 1 have done or what took place the other evening but leave this part of the subject at present I 1 was called to an account by the twelve ye yesterday st erday for my conduct or they desired to te know my mind or determination ina and what I 1 was going to do I 1 told them that on reflection upon the many difficulties that I 1 had had with the church and the much disgrace I 1 had brought upon myself in consequence of A these thi things ap pp and also that thai mv h health i ith would would not permit ferm it me to ta go to school to lo m make ake any preparations for the endowment and that my health was such that I 1 was not able to travel all that it would be better for them to appoint one in the office that would be better able to fill it and by doing this they would throw me into the hands of the church ani 9 ni leave me where I 1 was before I 1 was chosen then I 1 would not be in a situation to bring so go much disgrace upon the cause when I 1 fell into temptation and perhaps by this I 1 might obtain salvation you xou know my passions and the danger of falling from so hl high a station and thus by withdrawing in e from the office of the apostleship while t there be r e is salvation for me and remaining a member in the church I 1 feel afraid if I 1 dont do this it will be worse for me some other day and arain again my health is poor and I 1 am not able to travel fravel and it is necessary the office should not be idle and a again g a aid I 1 say you know my passions and I 1 am x afraid f it wi wall 11 be the worse for we me by and by 1 do so if the lord will have mercy on me and let let me remain as a member in the church and then I 1 can travel and preach when I 1 am able do not think I 1 am your enemy for what I 1 have done perhaps you may say Y or r ask why I 1 have not net remembered the good that you yon have done to me when I 1 reflect upon the ingual injury I 1 have done yon von I 1 must confess that I 1 do not not know ow whist what I 1 have been about I 1 feel sorry for what I 1 have hare done clone and humbly ask your forgiveness I 1 have not confidence as aa yet to como come and see yon for I 1 feel A I 1 ashamed of what I 1 have done and as I 1 feel now I 1 feel as though all the confessions that I 1 could make verbally or by writing would not no be sufficient to atone for the transgression be ae I 1 this as it may I 1 am willing to make all the riep res ti tit tation ution you shall require if I 1 can stay in va the church as a member I 1 will try to make all taw th satisfaction pol possible sible yours with respect WM SMITH do not cast me off for what I 1 have done but bat strive brive to save me in the church as a member I 1 do repent of what I 1 have done to you ato and ask your forgiveness I 1 consider the trant trans egression gres sion the other evening of no small magnitude but it is done and I 1 cannot help it BOW no I 1 know brother joseph you are always wal wl ling lino to forgive but I 1 sometimes think when I 1 reflect upon the many injuries I 1 have done you I 1 feel confession was hardly sufficient but liffe hwe mercy on me this once and I 1 will try to do so no more I 1 the twelve called a cooil yesterday and sent over after me and I 1 w went over this council remember was called fahd torether together by I 1 i themselves and not by me wn W S to the foregoing I 1 gave the following answer the same day brother william having received your letter I 1 now proceed to answer it and shall first proceed to give a brief nar narration karratti on of say my feelings and motives since the night I 1 first came to the knowledge of your having abing a debating school which was at the time I 1 happened in in with bishop whitney his father and mother aa and from that time I 1 took an interest in them and was delighted with it and formed a determination to attend at t en d the school for the purpose par pose of obtaining information and with the idea of imparting ar id the e same sa e through on the e assistance assis ce of 0 the 0 spirit of the lord okd if by any means I 1 should have faith to do 0 so and with this intent I 1 went to the school on last wednesday night not with the idea of breaking up the school neither did it enter into my heart that was any wrangling or jealousies in your heart against me notwithstanding previous to my leaving home there were feelings of solemnity rolling across my breast which wera were unaccountable to me and also these feelings fee linga continued by spells to depress ray my spirits and seemed to manifest that all was not right even after the school commenced and during the debate yet vet I 1 strove to believe that all would work tog together ther for good I 1 was pleased with the power of the arguments that were used and did not feel to cast any reflections upon any one that had spoken but I 1 felt it was the duty of old men that sat as presidents to be as grave at least as young men and that it was our duty to smile at solid arguments and sound round and be impressed with solemnity which should be manifest in our countenance when folly and that which militates against truth and righteousness rears it head therefore in the spirit of my calling and in view view of the authority of be ae priesthood that has been conferred upon me it would be b my duty to reprove whatever I 1 esteemed to be wrong fondly hoping in my heart that all parties would consider it right and therefore humble themselves that satan might not take the advantage of us and hinder the progress of our school now brother william I 1 want you should bear with me notwithstanding my plainness I 1 would say to you von that my feelings were grieved at the interruption eruption int you made upon pon 1 older elder me lellin I 1 thought you should have considered your relation with him in your your apostleship and not manifest any division divisi oil of sentiment between you and him for a surrounding multi tude to take the advantage of you therefore by b y way of entreaty on the account of the t he anxiety anxiety y I 1 had for your influence and welfare I 1 said unto you do not have any feelings or something to that amount why I 1 am thus particular is is that if you have misconstrued my feelings towards you you may be corrected but buti I 1 to proceed after the school was closed bro I 1 hyram requested the brivil privilege sail e e of speaking speaking speak you objected however 3 you said if he won would d not abuse the school he might speak and that you would not allow any man to abuse the school in ini your house now you had no reason to suspect that hyrum would abuse abase the school therefore my feelings were mortified at these unnecessary observations I 1 undertook to reason with you but you manifested an inconsiderate and stubborn spirit I 1 then despaired of bene fitting fitting you yon on account acco of the spirit you manifested which drew from me the expression that you was as ugly as the devil father then commanded silence and I 1 formed a determination to obey his mandate and was about to leave the house with the impression that you yon was under the influence of a wicked spirit you replied that you would say what you pleased in s yom bour own ho house u se F father a ther said say bay what you please but let the rest hold their tongues then a reflection rushed through my mind of the anxiety and care I 1 have had for 1 you von and your family in doing what I 1 did in finishing your house and providing iding flour for your famil family and also father had possession in in tale the house as well as yourself and when at any time have I 1 transgressed the commandments of my father or sold my birthright that I 1 should not have the privilege of speaking in my fathers house or in other words in my my fathers family or in your house for so we will call it and so it shall be that I 1 should not have the privilege of reproving a younger brocher bro ther therefore i said I 1 will P speak peak for I 1 built the house sad and it is as much mine as yours tr something to that effect 1 I 1 should have said that I 1 helped to finish anish the house I 1 said it merely to show that it could not ber be the right spirit that would rise up for trifling matters and undertake to put me to silence I 1 saw that your indignation was kindled against me and you made towards me I 1 was not then to be moved and I 1 thought to pull off my loose coat lest it should tangle me and you be left to hurt me but not with the intention of hurting you but you wig was too soon la for me and having once fallen into the bands of a mob and been wounded in ray my side and now into the hands of a brother my side gave way and after having been rescued from your grasp I 1 left your house with feelings indescribable the scent scenery rv had changed and all those expectations that I 1 had bad cherished when going to your house of brotherly kindness charity forbearance and natural affection that in duty binds us not to make each other offenders for a word but alas abuse auger anger malice hatred and rage with a lame side with marks mar of violence heaped upon me by a brother br 0 ther were the reflections of my disappointment and with these I 1 returned home not able to sit down or rise up without phout I 1 help but through the blessing of god I 1 am now better I 1 received your letter and perused penned it with care I 1 have not entertained a feeling of malice against you I 1 am older than you and have endured more suffering having been marred by mobs he die labors of my calling a series of per I 1 andl and injuries continually heaped upon me all serve to debilitate my body and it may be that J cannot boast of being stronger then than you if I 1 could or could not would this be ba an honor or dishonor to me if I 1 could boast like david of slaving a goliath who defied the armies of the living god or like paul of contending with peter face to face with aund sound arguments it might be an honor but to m mangle iobe t the e flesh or seek revenge upon one who never r done you von any wrong cannot be a source of sweet re reflection to you nor to me neither to an honorable father and mother brothers and slaters sisters and when we reflect with what care and with what unremitting diligence our eur parents havi have strove tt roveto to watch over ua no and how many hours of sorrow and anxiety they have spent nf over our cradles and bed sides in tim times ze 0 of sickness how careful we ought to be of their feelings in their old age it cannot be a source of sweet reflection to us ua to say or do anything that will bring their grey hairs down with wil sorrow r to the grave ra in your letter ett eryou you asked my forgiveness which I 1 r readily i grant but bat it seems to me that you still r retain t an idea that I 1 have given you reasons to be angry or disaffected with me grant me the privilege of saying then that however hasty or harsh I 1 may nave have spoken at any time to you it has had been done for the express purpose of endeavoring to warn exhort admonish and rescue you from falling into difficulties and sorrows which I 1 foresaw vou von plunging in g i nto into by giving way to that wicked spirit which you call your passions which you should curb and break down and put under your feet which if you do not you never can be saved in my view in the kingdom of god god requires the will of his hie creatures to be swallowed up in his will you desire to remain in the church but forsake your apostleship this is the stratagem of the evil one when he has gained one advantage he lays a plan for another but bat by maintaining your apostleship apostles bip in rising up and making one tremendous effort you may overcome your passions and please god and by forsaking your apostleship is not to be willing to mike make that sacrifice that god requires at your hands and is to incur his displeasure and without pleasing n god we do not think it will be tl any better t ter lor for you when a man falls fall one step he must 1 regain ain that step again or fall another he has stiff 12 more to gain or eventually all is lost I 1 desire brother william that you will humble yourself I 1 freely for forgive ive you atod and you know my unshaken a and unchangeable disposition I 1 know in whom I 1 trust I 1 stand upon the the floods cannot no they shall not overthrow me you know the doctrine I 1 teach is true and you know that god has blessed me I 1 brought salvation to my fathers house as an instrument in the hand of god when they were in a miserable situation you know that it is my d duty y to admonish you when you do breny this Is liberty I 1 shall always take and you shall have the same privilege I 1 take the liberty to admonish you because of my birthright and I 1 grant you the privilege because it is is my duty to to be humble bumble and receive rebuke and instruction from a brother or a friend As it regards what course you shall pursue hereafter I 1 1 do not pretend to say I 1 leave you vou in the hands of god and h his aay church make your own decision I 1 will do you good although you mar me or slay me by so doing bygar my garments shall be clear of your sina ins and if at any time you should consider me to be an i impostor for heavens sake leave me in the hands of god and not think to take vengeance on we me yourself tyranny usurpation pation and to take menal mens rights ever has and ever shall be banished from my heart david sought bought not to kill saul although he was guilty of crimes that never entered my heart and now may god have mercy upon my fathers house may god take ariy away enmity from between me and thee and may all blessings be restored and the past be forgotten forever ma may h humble am ble repentance bring us both to thee 0 go god d and to t thy by power and protection and a crown to enjoy the society of father mother alvin I 1 hyrum sophronia samuel catherines catherine carlos lucy the saints and all the sanctified in m peace forever is the prayer of your brother JOSEPH SMITH junior to william smith saturday morning at home sent the above letter to brother william smith I 1 have had many solemn feelings this da day y concerning my brother william and have prayed in my heart fervently that the lord will not cast him off but that he be may return to the god of jacob and ina magnify icv his apostleship apostles bip and calling may this be aits his happy lot for the lord of glorys sake amen sunday at home all day took solid comfort with |