OCR Text |
Show THE NEUTRAL LANGUAGE. Barber Was Taking No Chances Withj His Customers. The barber was busy. The customer custo-mer looked up at him and said: "How do you s'pose th' war is goin" to turn out?" The barber said something that nobody no-body understood. The customer repeated re-peated his question. The barber repeated re-peated his answer. It sounded like-Choctaw like-Choctaw is supposed to sound. Then, he said: "How cold did it get today?" , A little later on his oldest customer custo-mer asked him what he said to tha man. The barber grinned. ' "Did you hear what he asked me?"" "Yes." "Well, I ain't gittin' in no mo' trouble trou-ble if I can help it. I've lost three-of three-of my best customers by answerin" fool questions. Yo' can't tell by look-in' look-in' at a man which way his war sympathies sym-pathies jump. No, sir. When dey begin be-gin th' war questions I give 'em back: the kind o' talk y' just heard me giv-ln'." giv-ln'." "I didn't understand what you said.. What language was it?" The barber t&sted his razor on his-thumb his-thumb nail. Then he grinned. "Dat's what I call de neutral language," lan-guage," he replied. Cleveland Plain: Dealer. Appropriate Problem. "You women ought to organize & society for the encouragement of pick-.-pockets." . "What do you mean?" "And adopt as your insignia the-dangling the-dangling handbag." Her Money's Worth. "I declare," exclaimed an old lady,, watching several people file down, the aisle in a continuous movie show,, "this is the most accommodating: theatre I was ever in. They never do get out o' patience with late folks.. I've seen 'em start this .show three times just to accommodate 'em, but: I'm going to stay an' see it all If iL takes till 10 o'clock." Hard Work. "So you have a government clerkship, clerk-ship, have you?" "Yes." . "Don't have to do any work, L 3uppose?" "I don't eh? I have to get my pay warrant every month, and get it cashed." Alao, Too True! There was a time when a young man went with a girl for six years, and looked up her pedigree in the old family bible before he married her But nowadays he gets a marriage license without even looking at her-teeth. her-teeth. ? His Skilled Arm. The Parent. And do you think you-can you-can support my daughter in the style-to style-to which she has been accustomed' The Lover Certainly, sir. I have-taken have-taken many prizes at tangoing! Yonkers Statesman. How Pcetry s Written. "This is a pretty poem of vours. Something tossed off to gratify a whimsical fancy?" "No; something ground out to nay Jour:aaiSh WU"-Lo""-lHe Courier- Too Bad. A West Virginia man was taken to-an to-an asylum because he claimed to have-discovered have-discovered perpetual motion. Great grief! And maybe he'd only boon look-Plalnealer. look-Plalnealer. '"-Cleveland: They Toll Not fra'ge?s,.ntlCed U,1"S "And what is that?" "There Is many Dno , . , sweeping gestures who never uso t broom."-Baltlmore Sun. |