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Show feated the Philistines?" "If they don't play the Mets, them," the boy replied. I don't keep track of In a classroom, a teacher asked, "Why do you we no longer offer burnt offerings to God?" A boy answered, "Air pollution." asked why it was that Jesus wore long hair. Before the teacher could think of an answer, another little girl said, "Only His hairdresser knows." A girl and very old family Bible. Suddenly she held up a dried pressed leaf which crumbled at her touch. "Look, grandma!" she said. "Do you suppose this old leaf belonged to Eve?" Another boy in class for the first time was delighted when he opened the lesson book on the Creation and saw the first color picture. "Hey, guys!" he said, "this is going to be good. Here's Tarzan and Jane!" the Lutheran stronghold of Minneapolis, a Presbyterian boy en route to church with his father In FfflvdDMie My Jokes Van Some kids seem to regard God as a celestial Santa Claus. BelL; slipped into bed without Four-year-o- W saying her prayers one night, explaining to her mother, 'There are some nights when I don't want noticed a signpost, and said, "Look, dad . . . there's a " special sign for us. It says, 'Presbyterian Crossing.' EDITOR'S NOTE: who had hoped in vain for a new pair of high boots went on a strike at prayer time, explaining to his mother, "It's no use. Art doesn't listen." "Art who?" she asked. "Art in heaven," he sadly boy who's noticed nuns before at a Catholic hospital saw a Sister drive up beside his mother's car at a supermarket. He pointed to her and asked, "Is that a doctor?" "No," mother answered. "She is a nun." "A real nun?" the boy asked disbelievingly . . . and then stuck his head out the window to ask the Sister, "When are you going to fly away?" its second printing. like the description of a little girl who saw a rainbow spanning the sky, and said, "Look at that! God's making Jell-O- One of my favorite stories comes from Fort Worth, by Dick A anything." Dyke A boy Emmy award winner Dick Van Dyke, a former Sunday School teacher, has returned to both fields. He appears on television tonight on an NBC special titled Dick Van Dyke Meets Bill Cosby, and his new book , Faith, Hope and Hilarity, which he calls "the child's eye view of religion," has gone into Dick, who has four children and has been living on a ranch in Cave Creek, Ariz., some 40 miles from Phoenix, for the past five years, came to television via Broadway and Bye, Bye Birdie. His g series. The Dick Van Dyke Show, came within a of being canceled after its first year on the air and was saved only through the stubborn persistence of its producers and sponsors. Moved to a new time period the following season, it took off to bee come one of the medium's most popular comedy shows. Herewith some favorites from Dick's award-winnin- hairs-bread- th And I !" thought it would be nice if God helped her with her arithmetic, but her mother said, "God can't help you with your math . . . ask Him to give you more patience to do your studies." The girl looked puzzled and then said, "Oh, God doesn't know the New Math either?" A girl all-tim- book: Kids of kindergarten age love any kind of story, from Superman to the Good Samaritan. One teacher told me she was relating the Good Samaritan story to her class, making it as vivid as possible so the children would realize what vfas happening. Then she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on roadside all wounded and bleeding, what wc jld you do?" A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence. "I think I'd throw up," she said. teacher asked a boy: "Who de with the most children, the youngest mother, and so girl became more and more on, while a concerned because her mother hadn't received anything. Finally she whispered loudly, "Don't worry, mother, if they give one for the fattest mother, maybe you'll win it." A mother trying to explain the same idea of God's presence to her daughter told her, "God is everywhere; you can't see Him, but He can see you." The girl grinned. "Let's guess where He's hiding!" "Who was the first man?" teacher asked her class. "George Washington," shouted a boy. She shook her head. "It was Adam," she explained. "Well, sure," the boy admitted, "If you want to count foreigners." A girl visiting her grandmother on her farm near In New York City a Tex., where the First Baptist Church of Forest Hill was holding a special Mother's Day service. The pastor was giving corsages to the oldest mother, the mother Cincinnati, Ohio, happened to thumb through a large A Dog's Best One boy who had been wrote this note: Bar Mitzvahed recently 'Thank you very much, rabbi, for the nice things you said about me on Saturday. My mother didn't believe a word of it." After the teacher read the story of the Prodigal Son to her class of boy asked, "What does it mean to 'waste your substance on riotous living?' " Before she could answer, another boy put the idea on a level his buddy could understand, saying: "It means to spend all your money on bubble gum." Friend E. NOFZIGER 13 PARADE DECEMBER 6, 1970 |
