| Show i Something for Everybody By BERT BOYACK s. s lit A. Ji r ran across a letter Z cm Ii for No just exact- exact rf r h to d do with lauch uch t retter he he s sent nf tH I sen senator ator in Washington The senator was touched and de decided decided decided de- de to send the little girl 10 A few days later the postmaster received another letter to Santa Claus from the same child It read Dear Santa Thanks for the hundred dollars But next time dont don't send it through Washington Them dirty y pol politicians kept 90 per cents cents' cent I Little LUtle boy at Sears to Santa Claus Glaus I Just see you at the Paris Store Santa to little boy Yes And the boy continued I Just see you at Santa And didn't I replied yes see you at Continental Bank Santa Yes Boy You sure do goof off you cant can't hold a Job for 5 minutes minutes' 1 t t B Boy y to Mother I want a bike a sled some skates a radio a boat a II football Mother Interrupting But how do you expect Santa to have enough toys like that for you and the rest of the boys Boy Why not Hes He's got all his helpers out collectIng collecting collecting collect collect- ing money to buy them with e. e Before Christmas Old Santa Claus Glaus was broadcasting in a large department store A very long line of children children chil chil- dren with their mothers were waiting their turns The Theline Theline line moved slowly as u each child stepped up to tell teU Santa what he wanted A little girl wanted a doll etc When It came to little Tommy who h had d been In line Une foi for two or three hours Santa said What do you want m mj ml little man Tommy leaned over the radio microphone and yelled I I wanna go to the bathroom C i There is the one about the parents who had gone all out for their four year olds old's Christmas Seems they spent some for the best ever toys of all kinds Three days later the boy stands before his father and says What can I do I haven't a thing to do C t What did you get your husband for Christmas So much he wont won't be able to wear it all at one time That much Yes YeI two ties lies i t A young girl who did not know the facts of life Ufe and was a problem child chUd at her mothers mother's suggestion took tooka a long trip When she came back from the trip she showed more certainty and a deep philosophy Upon her mothers mother's query she said Now I 1 know why a lot lotof lotof lotof of old people believe in Santa Claus Glaus and a lot of young people dont don't dontI I I H 1 An optimist and a pessimist were opening Christ Christ- 5 leS 1 e ot three i 20 ye ld old ll am to I hl bM or d f a ag o fertilizer er izei i foody 1 1 he e S go got t a ag of zer go goody y the exclaimed Somebody has given me a horse I l' l lt t Many years ago a famous merchant so famous that his name has been forgotten said the main dif difference dif dif- ference between men and women in a department store during the Christmas rush is isA A A woman strolls through the store feeling things without buying them And a man strolls through the store buying things without feeling th them m The more closely she examined it the more Interested interested interested inter Inter- ested the well-dressed well shopper became In the beautiful ful tul dollhouse that is until she came to the exorbitant price tag It R stunned her Just at that moment a saleslady saleslady saleslady sales sales- lady appeared at her elbow and inquired politely May I help you madam Just tell me one thing the woman smiled sweetly v Does the store arrange for the mortgage on this i ii Lady to Missing Persons Bureau It was Christmas Eve and I brought out the dollhouse gas station and bicycle to be assembled and that was wu the last I saw of him I ii tt Mrs Brown had always treated her dog as a member of the family with birthdays Christmas presents and and all One day the mailman rang the bell to collect two cents postage due on a birthday card addressed to Bill Brown Mrs Browns Brown's surprised housekeeper ex exclaimed exclaimed exclaimed ex- ex claimed Bill Brown why hes he's a dog dog The mailman replied Lady I dont don't care about his reputation all I want Is the postage due I CHRISTMAS IN A NUTSHELL And what did you get for Christmas Johnny I got a little red chair chair- replied the year 3 old but it aint much good Its It's got a hole in the bottom of it For the girl who has everything for Christmas how about a gift certificate entitling her to be Inoculated vaccinated or sprayed Our mean little neighbor boy walked up to Santa Claus Glaus kicked him hard hardon on the shins for last year he said sUd To the young man at the perfume counter to select a present for his girl the clerk purred Now here here's one called Perhaps Its It's 3 33 35 an ounce Thirty five dollars I exclaimed the young man manFor For 3 35 I dont don't want perhaps I 1 want Sure A A mother had been lecturing her herem small an son stressing that we are all in this world to help others He Ue considered this for some time tillie then asked soberly What are the others here for lor A nine year olds old's Christmas poem poems A DAY CALLED CHRISTMAS Santa brings the toys The children shout shoot for Joy DIsh Dishes a trucks and a great big ball Candy nuts and a beautiful doll Santa will be here with a bag full of cheer Led by Rudolph the Red by Julie Boyack t |
