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Show I m Going to by Jackie Farnsworth Forum staff writer Theres a list on my refrigerator of places I have to go before I die. Its long enough now to interfere with the defrosting process, so when I heard that Susan Cottier was taking a group of students to New Orleans and Memphis as part of her Rhythm and Blues and Graceland-Ma- y could not have envisioned the cost that can be incurred in a single night of debauchery on Bourbon Street. The proprietors call you in from the streets, enticing you into their shady and alluring establishment with promises of fine liquor, incredible music and various other forbidden fruits. (Hint 2: Dont make eye contact.) Eventually I was lured into Gary Browns 544 1 Term Memoirs maids leave on your pillow. (Hint Finally, we were in the city of about halfway there when we real3: Always be the first person ized that the hurricane, angry at Kings (B.B. and Elvis respecin back your room after the maids not having killed us in New tively). Graceland--hom- e of the Orleans, had followed us to our have been in.) worlds largest amount of green present location in order to have The next day included a hazy riverboat tour of the Mississippi, shag carpeting, oh, and Elvis. I another go. There are people who was vastly impressed with the insist that it cant have been the which we enjoyed with several absolute volume and diversity of same storm, these people have thousand small school children. 4: conmake Elvis contraband available to the quite obviously never experienced Dont (Hint eye once The riverboat Our tact.) stopped public. (Hint 7: Dont make eye truly malicious weather. along the river and let us off at the contact.) group ducked into a doorway and site of one of the most famous batAnd at last, the night I had discussed our chances for survival waited for, the night I would actutles in history, the battle of New before trudging the Orleans. To the untrained eye the ally sit myself down at B.B. rest of the distance to the studio. famed site bears an unsettling Kings Place (owned by the Blues After first attempting to sandresemblance to a great, big, empty legend of the same name who bag the area around us, the studio field but the knowledgeable incidentally will be appearing at staff were nice enough to give us onlooker was amazed to see a Abravanel Hall October 29th). towels and resuscitate those who great, big, empty field. Awed by There we listened to the sweet, were no longer breathing. The the terrific implications, or sorrowful sounds of the Preston storm, infuriated at our near bemused by the fact that we had Shannon Band. (Hint 8: Make a escape, became so noisy that at walked that far to see a great, big, list of songs that you should not be one point a salesclerk in the gift empty field, we reboarded and allowed to dance to while intoxishop actually hit the dirt to enjoyed the return trip up 01 cated. Instruct one of your friends, avoid what he believed to be gunMuddy, already planning our the designated dignity preserver, fire. return to the night life of the to tie you to a chair within the first Luckily, we all made it home three beats of any of the songs on relatively unscathed and overall I French Quarter. Enter the hurricane. Apparently, annoyed at not cancelling or even delaying, the storm decided killing us all would be an acceptable course of action. (Hint 5: When your roommates tell you that standing on the balcony of your hotel room during the hurricane is a bad idea, believe them.) Of those who were caught in the storm, most blocked it out by either a series of complicated mental processes or consuming one too many White Russian Slurpees. Fortunately, no one was harmed by the weather, however the White Russian Slurpee factor dramatically reduced the number of people who were capable of enjoying our early morning swamp tour. Our swamp tour was guided a sadistic, Cajun boatman by named Gator. Ever concerned & when the mentally ill are put in Heather was one Westminster students to of King many charge of heavy machinery, I Dr. Susan Cottier on last Mays New became somewhat distressed accompany when Mr. Gator began to squeak OrleansMemphis trip. erratically and toss marshmallows over the side of the boat. I was actually more distressed when he the list. It is helpful if the chosen must admit that it was an incrediexplained that the reason he was friend has a good ear, as well as a bly educational and thoroughly doing this was to entice alligators propensity for carrying rope. The enjoyable experience that I would to swim up next to the boat. It list should include, but is not limrecommend to anyone. Life expeseems that alligators are attracted ited to: I Thank You, Purple rience, thats the ticket! So, next to white objects. (Hint 6: Dont Rain and Gary Browns rendition May, ignore the pitiful looks make eye contact.) of Sexual Healing.) hurled at you from parents, spousAfter our exciting and inforAfter a traumatic evening of es and children, and pack your mative tour, we boarded the train too many margaritas and too little bags for a May Term excursion. to Memphis. The train, in fact, dignity, I awoke to the realization (Hint 9: Dont make eye they call the city of New Orleans. that we were scheduled to tour the ride was wonderThe eight-hofamed Sun recording studio. ful, consisting mainly of sleep Donning my sunglasses, I met the (something many of us had been group downstairs. We had decided to walk to the studio and were forgetting to do). light-hearted- ly ' Civil Rights class, I thought, Hey, two birds with one stone. I had never taken a May Term trip before and in the days that followed I would learn valuable survival skills, skills which I feel obligated to pass on to anyone considering a May Term excursion. The trip started off in a rather ordinary way. Despite hurricane warnings in Louisiana, our plane took off without incident and we arrived excited and ready to hit the streets. No time was wasted our first evening in New Orleans. After a quick, boundary setting tour of the French Quarter we were turned loose on the hundreds of clubs, shops and restaurants that New Orleans has to offer. (Hint 1: Plan to spend much more money than you can realistically afford.) Not being a seasoned traveler, I Club. Actually now that I think about it, having listened to Gary Brown play before (hes becoming a regular here at Westminster), I was not so much lured as I was carded quickly as I shoved my way through the crowded door. Trying to conserve my somewhat limited assets, I ordered a five dollar glass of water and settled in to enjoy the first set. Many of my colleagues were already enjoying themselves, some to a point of near blindness, and we reveled in a fascinating evening which culminated with a rousing version of Brown-Eye- d Girl, that even the most heavily intoxicated will never forget. The many night clubs in New Orleans soon relieved me of all my cash and for the rest of the trip I was forced to rely on the kindness of strangers, a pack of Stripes gum and those little mints the ur |