OCR Text |
Show Friday, December 19, 1958 THE PARSON ' 'tfaJJih With fae Parsons Drop Last by Lee Spendlove Grid Game Ever hear of a College Fillup"? Thats when, a college boy pulls To Portland State station and into a gas sez-z-- ed Sa-pi-- en n. I1 I too close? Sometimes a few words from a policeman will impress a traffic violator and other times it takes a ong sentence. Lets go on wy o wy do we get stuck with guys like this? He jdrives in with nothing less than an Cadillac and sez-z-- z (like lies doing you a favor). Never mind the gas and oil, all I need Is the tires checked and maybe you would wash the windows and Sweep the inside out for me . . . jand-d-oh yes, would you mind But if it checking the needs any, dont bother putting any in, I have a friend who can get it for me cheap . . . (This is the guy that youd like to get in your grease gun sights just long enough for one good shot). But of course, we have to be polite. The old saying goes: The customer may not always be fight, but he better, always be our Customer or . . . get the idea? . . . ... 80-fo- Westminsters 1958 football schedule came to an end Saturday, November 15, at Portland State U., where the Vikings upset the Parsons by a score of 18-7. The Vikings scored on a run by George Kane and on two passes by quarterback Harvey which were caught by Willie Brown and Gary Hamblet. The Parsons scored their lone touchdown early in the second quarter on a quick 41 yard- drive which climaxed with a pass from John Rooks to the quarterback Little All American candidate, Don Coleman. Doug Andreason booted the point after touchdown. 64-ya- rd Nef-fendo- rf d, anti-freez- e. .Yeah, sure! The Parsons just couldnt get their gears shifted, because in the second half they came so close bit yet so far away. First a 31 yard drive ended with two of Rooks passes falling incomplete in the end zone. Then later in the same quarter the Parsons recovered a Viking fumble and drove their way to the always in a when ahead someone theres flurry of him. And when you finally do manage to hurry some of your best customers out a little quicker, he says: I didnt mean to honk, its just that my horn is stuck I dont really need anything. (About this time you feel like taking his horn and hanging him with it). If people would make all the improvements they say they are going to make, wouldnt things be in a of a mess? . . . feck few more . . . The wants to know where Curries Tea House is. (He snt really sure hes in the right ,town). The watchdog something jike a back-sedriver . . . The rYou dont mind if I get in your way, do you? type. (Something drastic needs to happen to this pest . like maybe letting the brake fluid out of his brakes). The worry-.war- t: Did you check the oil? Hows the battery, water? Are the :ires up? Do I have enough gas to go downtown? At this point pump-block-s- . . . er Ma-,da- at rui In line where they were held on downs. 11 -- yard Lineman Larry Kirkes, Dave Farris, Don Thomas, Don Coleman, Gordon Eldredge, Ken Kobayashi, Ken Simmons, Bob Halgren, George Watkins, Hei Chime and Moose Eversole are rated highly for the outstanding job they did. These fellows never quit fighting until the gun went off ending the season, yet some didnt give up until Coach Mercer said, in the dressing room, You looked good out there guys, but you cant win them all! back-fielg The speedy, although hampered by umpires, consisted of Doug Andreason, Ken Strong, John Rooks, Bud Murray, Ray Valentine, Phill Shel-laGil Cordova, and Dennis hard-runnin- d, r, always tell him whether he can make it downtown or not . . . (But never mfention that he might just not make it back). This is always good for winning customers. Then theres The Creeper . . . This jerk takes an hour to get situated, and when he finally does, he says . . . What took you so long to get out here. I 'thought you guys advertised instant service? I OUR HAD TO GREAT-GRANDMOTH- HAUL THE WASH WATER FROM THE WELL BUT SHE DIDNT HAVE TO SIT UP NIGHTS FIGURING OUT HOW TO MEET THE PAYMENTS ON THE BUCKET! . . . Why atop a pump he yells back dontcha watch where yer going? And last, but not least, is the Borrower . . . Would you mind lending me a couple of tools. My car just broke down on State Street and First South, and I thought Id overhaul it myself. All I need is a couple of tools. Ill only be 10 . . , you or 15 minutes . . . Say-y-- y wouldnt, by any chance, have an Old rod or piston laying around would you? (The only thing this imbecile needs to overhaul is his head). Yeah, like I say, you meet all kinds . . . and as the old saying goes If the shoe fits wear it . . . Short story: Cleaned floors, waxed same, Three oclock, kids came! A golden nugget of thought: Each is given a bag of tools, A shapeless mass, A book of rules; And each must make, Ere life is flown, A stumbling block Or a stepping-stonR. L. Sharpe e. A1 Mercer, coach of the Westminster Parsons for the" last four seasons was released from active duty Thursday, November 19, 1958, effective July 31, 1959. According to Dr. Frank E. Duddy, Mercer was released because of failure to coordinate the athletic department with that of the school. Coach A1 Mercer did not have much to say, only that he was disappointed in a few things and thought there should be. some other changes. 1 After compiling a record the famed Parson coach should, in no way, have trouble in finding a job elsewhere. To some Parsons the release was unexpected, while to others it was only a matter of time. Respected by all who were coached by him and by those who have heard of him, the Parson mentor is a popular sports figure throughout the West and Southwest. The action was sudden, but it is certain Coach Mercer will build a fine team wherever he goes. He did it here, he did it at Cyprus High School and theres no reason why he cant do it again. Good luck to a fine coach A1 Mercer. 27-6-- -- Trek onward . . . the shopper . . . A mad man The corner-cutte- r always comes in when things are vho cuts through your station and feally busy and wants to get the nearly cuts you down sos he wont price of everything from used gaso- have to stop for the red light . . . line to the price of tea in China. and then as you climb down from er - 13-ya- rd I horn-honk- Y- -- ot The COACH AL MERCER RELEASED; PARSONS SEEK NEW MENTOR z Gimme three gallons one gas one oil one water. Speaking of service stations, any of you guys or gals ever worked in one? Youre missing the experience of a lifetime if you havent Its not a bad job if you like greasy hands and dirty fingernails and the rest of the things that go into this type of work. And then there is that thing we all like to do . . . meet people. After so long in a station everything becomes a habit But for the poor slob just learning the "tricks of the trade, things can get pretty rough. After a few weeks of the stuff, the poor guy finally convinces himself that theres gotta be an easier way of dying (there probably is, only I cant think of any just offhand). The hardest part of station work is trying to plehse people (com- referred to as Homo Imonly think it should be stressed SAP-ieA1J types rumble ,as into a gas station. Heres just a few: THE QUIZ QUIRP Pulls in and yells (hes probably been to the ?doctor and wants to show off his Jnew tonsils) gimme five (five what ya jerk?) . . . Then theres the 'guy that drives just as close to the pump as he can, and then gets out and says (as you hold the fire Missed it though, extinguisher) 'didnt I? And after him comes the ;Wanderer. This nut is just the opposite. He pulls so far away from tiie pumps that it takes a searching party and a couple of St. Bernards to find him. And when they finally do get to him, he casually asks Am well-groom- Page 3 Basketball Team Chooses Co-Captai- ns Dean Petrulas and Jim Frankos are the acting of the ns Choir Runs On Busy Schedule for Season Holiday The Westminster Con- College Westminster basketball team this cert Choir has been a busy group on are the seniors year. They only of guys and gals for the past three the squad. weeks. Theyve been out singing practically every day, and sometimes twice a day. How do they do it thats a secret only they know. Why do they do it because they enjoy 'being before the public. When Dean Hodges was approached and asked how the Choir was doing, he merely said If we make it through Wednesday evening it will have been a very successful Christmas season as far as the choir goes. They made it congratulations Dean is 64 tall and is one of choir. the regulars. He graduated from Even though the Christmas seaCarbon High School in 54. He is son the vice president of the Letter-man- s be is past, things arent going to any easier for the choir. They Club. Dean has also played still have to look forward to their two years of spring football. tour. If anything, theyll be spring Jim Frankos hails from Magna. is one of the starting five for working even harder. But practice Skating Highlights He perfect, and Im sure theyll the Parsons and has been since makes not rest until they get just as close he started in 55. He won the most Dormitory Activities valuable player award once in his to perfection as possible. Good luck choir Were behind Ice skating at the Hygeia rink basketball career. Jim graduated all the way . . . you Christfrom Cyprus in 52. highlighted the boys dorm Admas party held Tuesday night. mission to the party was a gift which cost not over 50 cents. After Visit . . returning from the rink, the skaters had hot chocolate and exchanged gifts, which were passed out by Paul Antry, dorm president. After that group went over to the girls dorm and sang a few carols. T A Ice THE STUDENT LOUNGE ("Do-Flo- During the Christmas season a patient waiting at a clinic for a checkup noticed there was an air of gay excitement as doctors and nurses, carrying beribboned packages, hurried by toward a certain room. Finally unable to control his curiosity, he asked a passing nurse if there was something special going on. No, she explained laughing. Its just that when anyone on the staff gets a Do Not Open Until Christmas present, they bring it down here to the fluoroscope machine so they can see whats in it (The Readers Digest) The Christmas rush hour was in full swing at a large department store. On a crowded escalator one harried store employee said to another, Hey, Joe, you still workin? I thought you was gonna quit! I am gonna quit, his friend I been tryin all day answered. to quit, but I cant find nobody to quit to. (The Readers Digest) p) OPEN AT NIGHT FOR COFFEE 8:00 to 10:00 Soon after Christmas, Macys in New York had a visit from a boy returning a large doll, which he traded for an arsenal of water pistols. Who on earth would give you a doll? he was asked. My He uncle, he replied patiently. always does. He thinks Im a niece. (The Readers Digest) SCHOOL SUPPLIES - and - GROCERIES in and see (Jrop Our nifty iewelry You'll want to buy Because it's thrifty! HARWOOD'S Open to 11 p.m. 2053 So. 13th East FRANKHAUSER JEWELRY 1111 East 21st South |