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Show March 28, 1986 Forum Page? features all the better. Everyones welcome here. Save a dragon lady. (No CFM pumps please. The people of the Phillipines have been there be- classified ads Live and Work in Jackson Hole Nellies Family Restaurant in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, is now accepting applications for summer employment for all positions including management. Only restaurant and people oriented people need apply. Contact management at Nellies, P.O. Box 4154, Jackson Hole, Wyoming 83001. (307) 733-799- 9. Open your own beautiful Childrens Store. Infant to Nationally known brands 'Health Tex 'Donmoor Lee 'Levi Chic 'Buster Brown Izod 'Her Majesty 'Nannette Feltman and many more. Furniture - accessories and pre-tee- n. toys by Gerber and $14,900 to $24,000 includes beginning inventory, Nod-A-Wa- y. training, fixtures, grand opening promoe tions and round trip for one. Call air-far- today. We can have your store opened in 15 days. Prestige Fashions (501) 329-832- 7. Typing: Salt Lake Area, 24 hour service. 90 ? dspg. J oyce 486-528- Secure Inside 7. units near down-towYour lock, your key $8 and up. Special student rate Self-Storag- e n. 533-090- 0. A&W Computerized Word Processing. Fast, efficient, reasonable rates. Call Marsha 583-132- 3. Sell It In The Forum Classified ads are just 7$ per word for students and 10? per word for non-studen- ts. Its An Easter Egg Hunt! Saturday, March at a.m. in Dane Hansen Stadium. Sponsored by the Student Life Committee, Campus Ministry and Campus Life. 29 10 Happy Easter fore.) Debra Harris by Oh . . are the Academy Awards over yet? I'd like to thank my piano teacher, Mrs. Brink for giving me the opportunity to Ho-hu- write because I sure couldnt make it as a piano virtuoso. Pardon me ... I forgot where I was but Oscar fever has a hard way of dying down. Thought youd get away from it another column? Wrong, Miz Scarlett NOT OVER YET Hold on . . . Im just warming up. What has happendd to the old glitz and glitter? The controversy? The godawful fashions? The Academy Awards have gone the way of the 80s . . .boring. I mean, where were the Barbra Striesands in pantsuits with strategically placed hands over Instead we got Cher imitating a serious actress looking like a Road Warrior from Fredericks of Hollywood. No Marlon Brapdo either. Instead we were treated to Alan Alda smiling . . .forever. (Hes turning Japanese. He's really turning Japanese. I really think so.) We got Robin Williams acting fey. We got Whoopi Goldberg as the perennial pickaninny in a little black dress and pearl necklace, no less. We got Jack Nicholson in his forever-noEthel Mertz shades. Heck . . . everyone was a presenter except Mike the dog, who I hear was sipping Gravy Train a deux at Swifty Lazars Oscar reject bash. SURPRISE ME. Ha. Ha. No surprises this year . . . okay, there was one. William Hurt for Best Actor in Kiss Of The Spider Woman. Jeez, they finally did something right We see-throu- gh w know Jack Nicholson is good but come on. Prizzis Honor ? Give me a break. And what about the exclusion of Lee Iacocca for Best Director? Now that was a surprise. Arent statues close to statuettes? . . .The highlight of the dreadful evening was the appearance of every old movie queen still alive. Imagine my joy when seeing my namesake, Debbie Reynolds as well as, 20 from the Forum Staff PRETTY IN PINK SLIP Bye bye Herb. Sorry ya got the axe. Your rising star has bit million young boomers, up there kicking the big burger. It seems the higher patties over Burger King way have axed the big guy away. Its enough to make you wish you had heaven. Yup, theyre out of on your cheeks. But Id still kill right that hamburger dimples Herb has been attracting so saying for Cyd Charisses legs . . . Smarvelous, dars that their booths are many ling. nerd with city. Can you imagine filling up ILL ACCEPT THAT And what about the computer graffiti penciled in so neatly on those boring acceptance speeches? Come on . . the tables? Well, its not an image Burger . Lionel Richie for Best Song accepting with King takes a liking to ... So Herb gets an all Is he beef air biscuit Ouch. Coke Outrageous! pitching Cherry now or something? A little more originality, NICE DAY FOR A WHITE WEDDING please, Lionel . . . How about Don Ameehe for More wedding bells in the Royal Kingdom? Best Supporting Actor in Cocoon? What a Yawn. Hear that this new princess-to-bis gracious man. But like I said before, there going to still work after taking the big plunge. were no surprises. This years Oscars were Prince Andrew picked a live one this time. It the color neopolitan. Nuff said. sure beats sitting home popping out little 9 12 WHAT? Speaking of movies . . . heirs one by one. I mean look at Princess Stecaught the S&M movie, 9 12 Weeks'! Except phanie. Designing swimsuits cut down to for blindfolding, (S&M in Utah), thats it there is no easy feat. Whats a princess to do? folks. Except of course, the honey scene. But Why, you guessed it. . .name her new line Pool Positions." Its the royal plunge to say the greatest show' of all was the endless of Cove least. But have you seen Princess Stephathe parade Olympus nie lately? Beautiful but frightfully draggish. toddling out in the leather. One matron was decked out in imported red leather Hear she just cut a record too. At least shes from top right down to her screaming red got imagination. Thats the spirit, Steph. (Ill CFM pumps . . . guess she left her d bet her father is having a royal migraine . . . red whip at the bungalow. What a but what are parents for anyway?) hoot! . . . Even though 9 12 Weeks is not QUICKIES How does that ice cream empoeverybodys cup of Celestial Seasoning, rium Fendalls stay in business? Have you actress Kim Basinger is one to watch. ever seen anyone in there? . . . What hap, PRETTY IN CHARTREUSE Whatever pened to the greatest Mexican dive in town, Casa Grande"? Why not a lottery? We cant has happened to hair? Tinted mousse? For when you get the urge to go screaming yellow , live on tithing forever . . . What if my car zonkers reach, for the mousse. doesnt have seat belts? . . . Whatever hape . . . you blue? Easy . . . reach for the mousse. pened to Mason Im personally waiting for Pea Soup mousse a know the borgsaschmord kid? . . . Does la The Exorcist Now thats a hair color. anyone really care about Vanna White? Is it have more fun until you talk to FOOT FETSH Heres an update on Imelda true blondes . . . Have punkers gone the way of the them? Marco3 ticklish problem. Poor thing. . . but Passe punk . . . When will Don Im here to tell you the American people have Yuppies? : Johnson say something dumb? . . . When will not forgotten this woman in need. Send all flood? . . . When will Lisa Hartman quit it your shoes to the Imelda Marcos Foot Fetish dressing for excess? . . . When is the second Drive. No one should go down in history coming because Im busy until May Term. without 299,000 extra pairs of happy feet PARTING SHOT So what did you expect? propped up in the rumpus room. So send in shoes. bunions . Toe athletes . . foot, Every day to be like a Doris Day movie? your jam, ... pencil-packer- e. ch hand-toole- Little-old-ladi- Whats-His-Nam- The Lesbian and Gay Student Union at the University of Utah RESUMES That get Results! Professionally prepared WHILE YOU WAIT, including interview, proudly presents The Lesbian and Gay Conference 86 at the U of U . composition and computer typeset. Call: April 13 through 18 Call the U of U for more information f 1 .The.Deadline i First impressions ; Resumes Our Specialty 268-836- 3 j . I ! ! ; ; For For Applying - Forum Editor ETOSIAN Editor ELLIPSIS Editor and Photo Lab Director Is April 2 ; Submit Applications to the ASWC Office , |