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Show IB Thursday, June THE GREEN SHEET 18, 87 Sage Suggestions For Singles: Find Friends, Fun by Helen Glissmeyer Green Sheet Staff H riter HOLLADAY. If youre sitting in the center of the singles scene and want to step out, then a Holladay woman may have the sage suggestions you need. Melissa Stevens has done her homework and has a list of about 40 places where a single person can go to socialize and, perhaps, find a mate, if interested. She also has an open letter on dating which gives many profound tips. Just because a person has reached the age of 30 or 35 and has never married, he or she need not feel doomed, says Mrs. Stevens, who has established her small nonprofit business to help people meet other people. When she came to the Salt Lake area about eight years ago, she didnt know anyone but a few cousins. She felt she had to do something concrete and practical to start dating So she started looking for places where singles might socialize. First she telephoned churches I realized that ones because chances of meeting fairly nice men are not so good at bars and other questionable places. She learned about the Sunday Singles, a group for those over 35, which is not connected with any church. She also found the Presbyterian church had a group for singles age 21 to 40 open to anyone. After starting with these, she learned of the Saturday Singles and the Discovery group which meets on Friday nights at the Unitarian church, but is She started going to these groups dancing and singing Within a couple of years she was regularly. Each month Id get out fill with it and to meet Mr Right and now calendar social able my events I was interested in. These has been married to him for five might have included a Sunday sup- years. She learned invaluable inper, a meeting with a speaker, a formation in the meantime and now hopes to help others find fulfillment movie or a dance. So all over town she posts flyers Once she made contact with various groups, one thing led to on bulletin boards in libraries, launFor example, in one dromats and supermarkets, letting another. singles club, I met a woman who had people know about her Complete access to the officers club at the guide to Salt Lake area singles ac(For a copy, send $2 to nearby Air Force base. We went tivities there together and had good times PO Box 17695, Salt Lake, 84117.) are meeting others and at least having good times Maybe some are even getting married With the guide she includes an open letter on dating. In this she informs women that there are many You have types of men available to learn how to assess each situation rapidly or you will be wasting your time on unfruitful ventures, she advises. She tells them to beware of such flirt who types as the dance-floo- r will talk about everything except asking for a date, the moocher who will avoid spending a dime on who the multiple dater you, wants to be surrounded by females w ith no strings attached. For the men, she classifies women into three groups First of all, there is the homegrown American girl who is sweet, rather shy or reserved and responsive to you and your needs (fellows are often partial to this type Next is the outgoing partying type w ho may be using you. Finally d there is the super-shy- , type. This kind of girl is more of a mental challenge because you have to reach inside her and draw her out of her shell. Mrs Stevens considers her work a service Even though she doesnt earn any money and receives very little feedback about the outcome of romances that may ensue. I have faith that a lot of people Emotional Abuse, A Bane Of Childhood . . . Melissa Stevens has a list of about 40 socialize and perhaps find a mate. Her can places where singles on letter many profound tips. dating" gives open ly a girl Unfortunately she belieed him Sally suffered from emotional abuse Emotional abuse refers to belittling, rejecting and in general not providing a positiv e. loving emotional atmosphere in which a child can grow Beth Condie b ( K I li evident Sally had a perpetually sad expression. She looked as if she had just been beaten, but her father never touched her Instead he berated her: How did I ever deserve a girl9 Why werent Emotionally abusive parents may you born a boy? He had her hair cut have unrealistically high expectain an old fashioned style, saying tions of their offspring When the there was no point m trying to make children are unable to meet these exan ugly girl look any better erbal pectations, they receive He demanded complete obedience criticism that makes them feel inand subservience, including having competent and generally ' bad Children suffering from emotional her stand beside him as he ate to cut and salt his food He rationalized abuse may exhibit much the same this activity, saying that her only behavior as those suffering from hope in life was to be of use to a husphysical abuse For example Tom. abused by his band, if in fact anyone would want psychologically her father, didn't have the emotional Even when Sally scored 160 on an strength necessary to learn to read in first, second, or third grades He IQ test, her father assured her the teachers were wrong - - whe was on- - Continued on page 5 super-reserve- ATTENTION I married late She concludes, and I know others can find the happiness that I have. 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