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Show Page Four WEBER HERALD otmg iflan! Your personal appearance is going to have much to do with your success in life. It is our business to advise and Jielp you succeed in this respecl. ranges Mens Section JONES SHOES You Should See Our New Line of Low Shoes for Spring H. W. JONES CO. 2461 WASHINGTON AVE SHOES FOR MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN Have a Pullman Ready When 'Me That Unexpected Company Arrives Ogden Furniture & Carpet Co. The Store of Satisfaction C. B. JOHNSON, D. G, Ph. G H. W. ROBERTS, D. G CHIROPRACTORS Suite 412-13-14-15-16-17-26 Col. Hudson Bldg. Xray Laboratory Phone 707 Last y Thomas Women's and Children's Up-to-the-minute Footwear I IX. I I Bramwell's Books, Stationery and School Supplies EXCEL -PRICKS RIGHT -ASSORTMKNT COMPLKTK Utah National Bank Pays 4 Percent on Savings 4j I? ft With the Nuts A certain noble Senior has come forward with a suggestion that should meet with the approval of all the boys. He says, "If this is to be a girls' day only, why not have the fair sex call for the boys, pay for their tickets, trot them down for eats after the dance and then escort them home?" How aboiv. it, girls? We're willing. Igotta Bean announces the discovery of this great truth: "Love is a cancer that eats into a man's heart and matrimony is its only cure." Igotta is 6000 years behind the times. Adam made that discovery. She Men arc all flirts you can't trust one of them. He More so than women? She Well, I am engaged to three of the nicest men I know, and I've found that every one of them is flirting with some other girl. Captain (sharply) Button up your coat. Married Recruit (absently) Yes, my dear. A I had to kill my dog this morning.B Was he mad? A Well, he didn't seem any too well pleased about it. Major Slocum Was that a new girl of yours you had at the theater last night? Captain Dashcm---XTo. Just the old one repainted. Did you ever hear of the hen that sat down on an axe and tried to hatchet? Frosh If you try to take away a fat bone from a hungry bulldog, what remains?Senior Your remains. "Why don't you get out and hustle? Hard work never killed anybody," remarked the gentleman to whom 'Ras-tus applied for a little charity. "You're mistaken, suh," replied 'Rastus. "I've lost fouh wives dat way." The cows are in the meadow, The sheep are in the grass, But all the little goslings Are not in the Freshman class. Odd, But True I've seen the rope-walk down the lane, The sheep-run in the vale; I've seen the dog-watch on the ship, The cow-slip in the dale. I've seen the sea-foam at the mouth, The horse-fly in the air; I know the bul-warks on the deck, And the fire-works many a scare. I've seen a-bun-dauce on the plate, A lamp-light on the floor; I've seen the cat-fish in the sea, And a hat-stand by the door. Miss Rich Elliot, why are you always scratching your head? Elliott Because I'm the only one who knows where it itches. THE SHOE rOR MEM FROM $4 TO $9 A PAIR Clark's 2358 WASHINGTON AVENUE Lew Some people profit by the mistakes of others. Mamie Yes, like the minister who got $10 for marrying us. Orval Why don't you do the modern dances? Hink Oh, I know all the holds, but I can't slip into them quick enough. According to Nature He saw a peach across the way, All smiles and passing fair. Quick shift a word an answer gay; The peach became a pair. Angry Customer Waiter, there's a spider in the ice cream! Waiter Serves him right. Let him freeze to death. He was in the soup yesterday. "Is your son in business"? "He's a contractor." "What line?" "Debts." "We drank from the same canteen," exclaimed the old soldier, ruminating. "But wasn't you afraid of the microbes?" suggested his granddaughter."Gee! Microbes couldn't live in the stuff we were drinking, child." Sopli I just saw your picture. Freshie Where? Soph On a salmon can. A net, a maid, The sun above. Two sets we played Result: Two love. lot of Husband I've been losin sleep lately. Wife How's that? Plusband Our new minister ban the pulpit something fierce. Today I bought an alarm clock, It lias a loud ring. I think I will call it "The Star Spangled Banner," For every time I hear it I have got to get up. Teacher Use your What are they for? Pupil To fill my head. brains, Fred. New Version of an Old Story When first he came to see her He showed a timid heart, And when the lights were low They sat this far apart. But when this love grew warmer And they learned the joy of a kiss, They knocked out all the spaces AXDSATUPCLOSELIKETH IS. Answered "Why do people say, 'As dead as a door nail?'" asked the Bool). "Why is a door nail any deader than a door?" "Because it has been hit on the head, I suppose." replied the Cheerful Idiot. There are meters jambic And meters trochaic. And meters in musical tone; But the meter that's neater. Completer and sweeter. Is to meet her by moonlight alone. A STORE THAT TRIES TO PLEASE 4 YOU CAN DEPEND ON SQUARE TREATMENT AT OUR PLACE V V J. S. LEWIS & CO. JEWELERS SERVICE WITH QUALITY IS OUR MAXIM Let us have your order, we will treat you right and guarantee satisfaction. STEELE CARLSON GROCERY COMPANY 350 25TH STREET If you use lard substitute try RUSSELL-JAMES Ideal Shortening There Is No Other Shortening Quite So Good Have you Ever Tried NOODLES If so, you will try them again; if not, try them and you will eat them always. MATSUBA COMPANY 273 TWENTY-FOURTH STREET INDIAN AGENCY MOTOCYCLES AND BICYCLE REPAIRING INDIAN MOTOCYCLES INDIAN BICYCLES PIERCE BICYCLES AND ACCESSORIES 2576 Washington Ave., Ogden PHONE 337 M. L. JONES COAL & ICE CO. COAL AND ARTIFICIAL ICE Phone 1G03 |