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Show Editorial MONDAY, OCTOBER 10, 2011 3 THE SIGNPOST The Signpost Viewpoint Violence against men is still violence This past week, Weber State University observed Domestic Violence Awareness Week on campus. Students decorated Tshirts for victims of domestic violence, and posters touting troubling statistics were posted all over the Shepherd Union Building. One of these posters, however, might have gone largely unnoticed - or maybe it attracted the most eyes of all. This poster outlined some statistics on domestic violence against men. Adult male victims are far too often ignored in discussions of domestic violence, or, worse, flat-out belittled if they try to mention it. The cultural assumption seems to be that it is only men who need to curb their violent tendencies, and that women striking men in anger is harmless or even funny. As such, men are not as strongly encouraged to stand up for themselves or come forward about abuse against them, especially if the perpetra- for was female, because either they deserved it or they should totally be able to handle it, right? They might fear responses like "You got hit by a girl? And it hurt? Man up, dude!" or "Oh, poor you, it must be so hard being a man! Poor, oppressed men who are strong enough to defend themselves!" It is this dangerous cultural double standard that draws a stigma around male victims, and often prevents them from seeking help, resulting in serious loss of self-esteem or worse. According to Oregoncounseling. org, roughly 40 in 100 domestic violence cases per year involve men abused by their domestic partners. This means that more than 300,000 men could suffer domestic abuse per year. The site acknowledges that the numbers are indeed rough, however, because men in general are often reluctant to report it or even slow to recognize it, as "it has taken years of advocacy and support to encourage women to report domestic violence. Virtually nothing has been done to encourage men to report abuse. The idea that men could be victims of domestic abuse and violence is so unthinkable that many men will not even attempt to report the situation." Why is it that, when we watch a movie or read a book, a man hitting a woman for any reason marks it as a serious drama, yet women slapping around men who lied to them or dumped them - or who even just asked for their number! - is a staple of comedy and might even inspire a "you go, girl!" or two? How in the world is abuse funny or empowering when a woman does it to a man? And yes, it is abuse, even if he kissed another girl, said something wrong or broke up with her, because that excuse wouldn't fly if an abusive man used it, and rightly so. If we say the exact same thing is OK when a woman does it, as if a woman is incapable of causing physical or emotional damage, we are just reinforcing the stereotype that women are weaker than men, and isn't that kind of ignorance and sexism one of the very things we're seeking to prevent with domestic violence awareness? Anything that's abuse when done against a woman is abuse just the same when done to a man. Abuse is abuse. Period. However, even if we believe this in theory, it seems to be ingrained into our society that the same standards do not apply to situations wherein men are the victims. Because of this, victimized men might deny to others and even themselves that they are being abused. Even if the physical damage is minimal or nonexistent, they might feel they have decreased in masculinity or self-worth, that they do not deserve someone who will love and respect them, or that they should "be a man" and "suck it up." If they do get out of the unhealthy relationships, their future relationships are likely to be affected by their emotional trauma and possibly low self-esteem - just the same as with women. In keeping with Domestic Violence Awareness Week, if you or a loved one is suffering from abuse, we implore you to seek help. Your age, race, sexual orientation, gender, or even your "crime" does not matter; you deserve better. Absolutely no one deserves violence (and no, just to clarify, self-defense does not classify as violence, as long as said self-defense would qualify as such no matter who does it). We are all people, and we all deserve respect and safety. Comment on this column at wsusignpost.com L.I.F.E.'s Lessons Set goals, but also know limitations Cole Spicker • The Signpost columnist I love making lists. I have a list of baby names that I like, a list of couples who have sent me wedding invitations (with a corresponding list of the gifts I gave them). Another list features my height and weight, recorded once each year on my birthday. So, not only do I enjoy making and updating lists, but I have been in the business for a long time. I keep an Excel file with tons of tabs - each tab assigned to a different cause. Throughout different seasons of my life, some tabs become more important, while others lose their popularity. One list that has become more important is a list entitled "Favorite Movie Quotes." There, I find quotes like "You can't handle the truth!" from A Few Good Men, "I'll be back..." from The Terminator, and, a particular favorite of mine, "What do you think I am, a piece of ripe fruit you can squeeze the juice out of and cast aside?", said by Barbra Streisand in What's Up, Doc? As I was perusing this list the other day, a quote grabbed my attention, and I haven't been able shake it from my thoughts; I don't know why. Perhaps it's because the movie in which this quote is said has a great soundtrack. Maybe I can't forget this quote because of the movie's closeness to my heart. Or, maybe, it's just a great quote. Inside his shop, Mr. 011ivander said to Harry Potter, "I think it is clear that we can expect great things from you." What an inspiring message! Just ignore the fact that the words are coming from a well-known wandmaker in Diagon Alley to one of the most fashionable wizards in the entire wizarding world. Without all that fiction surrounding the quote, you've got one admirable and inspiring message. After reading the excerpt I had saved on my master Excel sheet, I started to think of my own life. What "great expectations" in my life were I not living up to? I know that there is always room for improvement, so I made yet another list. "Things I Need to Improve" is now included on my index - this might be a fairly frequented list of all lists. It includes the following: doing my homework in a timely matter, staying on task, exercising regularly, eating properly, saving money, reading a book every week, submitting a blog entry at least once every two days. These are just a few - some are just too private to announce to the world. Over the subsequent days, I kept adding to the list. A new item here and there, and soon I had more than 260 items I wanted to improve on. Looking at the list made me sick by that time. I pondered how I could tackle all these things. I would need several lifetimes to get everything under my belt. Preoccupation is what I feel when I look at the list now Then it came to me. I had to realize and set limitations in my goals. It would be nice to accomplish a lot in life - it would be grand! Again, I feel there's always room for improvement. However, setting limitations in my life can help me (and possibly you, if you're like me) live happily and not overburdened. You and I are not required to be the very best at everything; I just hope that I don't start making a list of all the limitations I need to set! Comment on this column at wsusignpost.com c'EMNIG' THE STANDARD Iv THE SIGNPOST HIGHER for CAMPUS NEWS Editor-in-Chief Managing Editor News Editor Sports Editor Photo Editor Business Editor Spencer Garn Stephanie Simonson Kasey Van Dyke Nathan Davis Bryan Butterfield Cole Spicker 626-7121 626-7614 626-7655 626-7983 626-8071 626-7621 The Signpost is a student publication, written, edited and drafted by Weber State University students. Student fees fund the printing of this publication. Options or positions voiced are not necessarily endorsed by the university. Features Editor A&E Editor Copy Editor Adviser Ads Manager Office Manager Jerrica Archibald Kory Wood Alexandria Waltz Shane Farver Shelley Hart Georgia Edwards 626-7105 626-7624 626-7659 626-7526 626-6359 626-7974 The Signpost reserves the right to edit for reasons of space and libel and also reserves the right to refuse to print any letter. Letters should not exceed 350 words. 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