OCR Text |
Show Monday, September 13, 1999 THE SIGNPOST Page 5 Through the looking glass FUMTw FUNTTi.i NO, IAJ0RRV, RJNT LISTED .-" lSK 1 1 "L"N Jit I II By Mike Pingree TMS Campus SORRY, JIM, IT'S ALL OUR FAULT: Jimmy Haakansson, a small-time criminal, tried to flee police custody by jumping out the third-floor window of the courthouse in Stockholm, Sweden, but managed only to break his foot and hurt his back. Now he is suing the cops saying that, if they had done a better job of guarding him, he would not have been injured. NO COVER, NO MIMIMUM: Lunchtime diners at a restaurant in Nairobi, Kenya, were treated to a bit of unscheduled entertainment when police launched a lightning raid on a brothel across the street forcing dozens of naked prostitutes and their clients to jump out the windows and scamper down the sidewalk to escape the lawmen. A waiter said, "All our customers went onto the street to enjoy the sight. They even let their food get cold." HOW COULD I LET THIS HAPPEN? A man wearing a red shirt and a white hat robbed the U.S. bank, branch in Hermiston, Ore., then went to his getaway car in a parking lot two blocks away, and, so as not to be noticed, slipped into the trunk to change his clothes, police said. Then he discovered, to his dismay, that he had locked himself in. His call for help was heard by Officer Darryl Johnson, who let him out and then arrested him. Johnson said later, "He was' probably hoping that it was someone other than a police officer." SEE? I TOLD YOU SO: Roger Russell set out on a 2,500-mile walk from Cape Town to Johannesburg and back again to call attention to the high incidence of street crime in South Africa. Twelve miles into his journey, he was robbed at gunpoint. I SEE A SMALL CELL WITH BARS: A secretary in the Los Angeles County welfare department was convicted of making 2,500 calls to a psychic hotline using county telephones. Prosecutors say she ran up Si 20,000 in phone bills. Her future now includes 30 days of confinement and five years of probation. LOVE UNREQUITED: Despite his age 80 Francis P. Doyle still felt passion for his77-year-old Olathe, Kan., neighbor. Marguerite Bacher. I le helped do her chores, and thought of her as a close friend. Then she went to her high school reunion where she met an old flame, and, in short order, married him. Doyle, enraged, began stalking the couple until, in a jealous frenzy, attacked them with a baseball bat in her home at midnight, killing the man and severely injuring Mar guerite. Doyle is now in jail for the rest of his life. YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED US: A group of TV executives from Europe and the United States participated in a public debate in Edinburgh, Scotland on the scourge of their industry: fake guests who get themselves on television talk shows. It was discovered later that one of the "experts" on the panel was a fake. NOW EVERYONE LOOKS LIKE LUCY: In Ronneby, a small town in Sweden, land of blondes, a new clothes shop gave out free shampoo to it's customers, not realizing that it would turn their hair red. Irate former blondes are demanding that the shop' pay hairdressers to restore their locks to their original color. ANYTHING FOR LOVE: Brown bears in the mountains of Bulgaria, who were looking for love with other bears in nearby Greece, have been getting hit by cars as they tried to cross the border to fulfill their lustful urges. So the Greek and Bulgarian governments agreed to build a $5 million tunnel between their two nations for the cars, allowing the bears to use the road. LOOK FOR WELL-FED BUS PASSENGERS: Fifteen heavily armed men will eat well and ride free in Rio de Janeiro after they pulled a raid on a Brazilian printing facility. They stole $260,000 worth of bus passes and the equipment to print meal tickets by the thousands. OH, SORRY, OUR MISTAKE: A report from a cargo ship at sea that a gigantic tidal wave was sweeping across the Atlantic Ocean toward southern Portugal, sent thousands of beachgoers fleeing inland, and spurred the evacuation of 40 miles of Portugese shoreline. Coast Guard helicopters flew out to investigate and discovered that the huge wave was an optical illusion created by the intense heat. CAN'T BEAT A HOME-COOKED MEAL: Two bandits forced their way into a family's home in Hong Kong and ordered the father to go to the bank and withdraw money, while they held his wife and young daughter hostage.While they were waiting, they had the wife cook them dinner. NOW, THAT GUY LOOKS SUSPICIOUS: After getting a report on his police raidio that the Burien. Wash., branch of KeyBank had been robbed. Detective Lee Adams spotted a man with an unusual "beer belly" hurrying across a nearby parking lot. Adams watched and waited as the man became somewhat more trim as he took a bag of cash out of his shirt. An arrest followed immediately. Mike Pingree is an editor at the Boston Herald. Talk back to him online at mpingreebostonherald.com. pr."Tz mils Today in 1 788 The Constitutional Convention decreed that the first Federal election would be held on the first Wednesday in February of the following year. On that day, 69 electors, from the 10 states participating in the election, voted unanimously to elect George Washington as the first president of the United States. 1923 The Spanish army, under Gen. Miguel Primo de Riveria, seized control in Spain with the approval of King Alfonso XIII. 1948 The School of Performing Arts, the first public school to specialize in the performing arts, opened in New York City. 1 970 Queens fireman Gary Muhrucke of the Millrose Athletic Association won the first New York City Marathon, completing the 26-mile, 385-yard course In two hours, 31 minutes and 38 seconds. 1971 The four-day revolt at the maximum-security Attica Correctional Facility near Buffalo, New York, ended when 1,500 state police and National Guardsmen storm the complex. Forty-two people died in the assault, including 31 prisoners and nine prison. 1991 The U.S. and the Soviet Union signed an agreement calling for an end to all outside military assistance to the warring factions in Afghanistan. 1 993 The first major agreement between Israel and Palestine was signed during a ceremony at the White House in Washington, D.C. With Bill Clinton presiding, Israeli prime minister Yitzhak Rabin and Yasir Arafat, chairman of the Palestine Liberation Organization, shook hands after signing an accord granting Palestine limited self-government in the Gaza Strip and in Jericho on the occupied West Bank. history 12 for Students In certain seating areas and on certain days. Student ID required. Call 355-ARTS Four operas starting as low as $20! Tosca, Orpheus & Eurydice, Falstaff and The Merry Widotv HA!. SMILE, P- TUU rs,C UN CANDID CAMERA wtitt? &mw i&ilK JlWl |