| OCR Text |
Show SIGNPOST March 11, 1955 Lose Friends, and Influence Teachers Page 2 How to SIGNPOST BI-WEEKLY PUBLICATION ASSOCIATED STUDENTS OF WEBER COLLEGE 523 Building 4 Phone Weber College 4-3491 Signpost Extension OGDEN, UTAH PRESS Editor Audri Montgomery Sports Editor , Vance Pace Club Editor Sharon Harris Assistant Sports Editor Ken Hull Cartoonist Dave Gunnell Feature Editor Sharon Larison Advertising Audrey Stevens Photography Dick Mabey Reporters Lynnette Richards, Sig Pont, Marilyn Arnold, Sharon Harris, Marianne Johns, Marcella Whaley, Jim Freston, Nancy Sanders, Glen McEntire, Jean Forsgren. A Letter from the Editor Dear Weberites; The past five and one half months of college have been full of many interesting and exciting things. There have been games, dances, new students, and lots of activity. It has been my privilege as Signpost editor to see that all things got publicity in the college paper. Probably I "goofed up" several times but that was only human. There may have been things you didn't like about the paper. (We can't please everyone.) But the job has been interesting and, by the way, lots of work. I would like to wish Sharon and Jim lots of luck as the new editors of the Signpost. And also, urge you, as Weberites, to support the school paper by giving us your ideas and any news you may have. Sincerely yours, Audri Montgomery Letter to the Edr Dear Ed: In response to those obviously exaggerated statements made by "Mud" in a letter to the editor in the last issue of Signpost, I should like to say "Nerts But I won't. Instead I'll say that it is my honest opinion that that writer must have passed his (or her) accusations on one couple. After taking a survey from a good representation of Weber students, I have found that none have seen enough of this so-called Public Necking to complain about it, and about three-fourths of them had seen none of it at all. However, no one feels that necking should be carried on in the halls of Weber College, but as long as things stay the way they are now, every visitor will be proud of this institution which his taxes are supporting. Absolutely yours, Soap and Water Headline of the Week On a story about campus influenza in the Brigham Young Universe: The Ague and I. The Goldenrod of Nebraska State Teachers College reports a story about a girl who attempted to take Alka Seltzer for the first time and stated that they were too large to swallow. Women prefer men who have something tender about them, preferably legal tender. l jf ' ' : i r jU.-jJ ... -i. .y.. rnili'M II III I I I miiilMliMMillHin.ll1 II I iiniliiW'"N, About this time every quarter students finally realize what school is all about. So the books are worn, typewriters sing and the traditional "burning of midnight oil" is begun. Sheldon Dahl represents the condition most Weberites have been in as "Dead Week" draws to a close. (Picture by Dick Mabey) Cranial Contraction; The Aesthetic Way By Don Fowler Due to an observed lack of interest it has come to the attention of Abe the aborigine that a dire straight is upon us. Through cultural change and because of selfish laws the fine art of headshrinking is fast becoming extinct. A recent inquiry shows that not one person in twenty can properly shrink a head! Furthermore the market for these objects of art is rising steadily and at present, for lack of good material, the market is being flooded by an abundance of inferior products. lherelore, m the interest ot art. to steady the market, improve the product, and enrich peoples lives by making the shrunken head a household item, a conference was recently held with a few head-shrinkers of the old school. These boys are no fly by night pseudo-cannibals, but. have made a life time profession of the art and well deserve their titles of H.s.d. (Doctor of headshrinking). Panel of Experts After much tooth filing, and spear sharpening the panel of experts came up with a list of rules, bylaws, and accepted protocol that one should follow to achieve superior results. First, care must be taken to pick the right head. One with too many brains will not shrink too well while an empty head tends to wrinkle too much. Secondly, use only the best chemicals in the shrinking process. Better grade bat's tongues, panther sweat and assorted spirits of snake oil can be purchased at any corner palm tree for only a few sea shells more than the ordinary variety. If you are not sure about mixing the in gredients, the Thatch Hut Drugstore Co. puts out a ready made compound complete with a chart of proper incantations and voodoo mumblings. A Purist If you are a purist and insist on procuring- your own chemicals take care to get your panther sweat from female panthers as it tends to give the product a finer finish. Lastly, the panel recommends the hair style of the thing be given some consideration. The coiffures on the current models are atrocious. Antoines' of Bungo Bongo on the Rue de la Curare, the foremost hair stylist of the Upper Amazon, says that a combination poodle cut and pigtail is really in the vogue this year. Here Are Some Springy Classes For Those Spring Fever Victims By Odd Who says there aren't any interesting classes offered Spring Quarter? They may not be in the class schedules but what do you think of these courses? The first course we would suggest could be entitled Socializing and Hall Techniques, with Don Nish as student teacher. Ernie Bertagnolli could give demonstrations in class and Bob Subic could help with homework. Another Course Another course might be called Home Economics 14 (depending on your neck size). Mr. Bateman would be a perfect teacher as the subject would be ties how to buy, Therefore, the panel concludes, take care in the shrinking process, observe the' latest hair styles when decorating your works and you too will have a collection of shrunken heads that are truly works of art. A note of warning. Beware of those heads bearing the Sanforized label. wear and get rid of them. Another phase of this course would reveal the art of wearing long ties and not tripping over them. Girls who entered the class would be taught how to tie them and buy them. Then how about a class in hair styling taught by Mr. Mikklesen (The Hair Cut!). Bowls would be furnished by the school and to graduate you would have to cut Heber Jentzsch's hair. Joke Telling Joke Telling 5 would be held each day at noon in H. E. D. Red-ford's office, with such experienced men as Mr. Reese, Mr. Evans, and of course Mr. Redford giving daily performances of "Can You Top This?" So you see, with the exception of Mr. Bateman's tie clasp (I mean class), these subjects would prepare even the most unsuspecting Weberites for the onslaught of that wonderful, heavenly, lovely, interesting disease of Spring Fever! CONGRATS TO . . Watson Tanner's Student of the Week jr. V Mil 5 VANCE PACE Reason for Choice: Signpost Sports Editor Member of Phoenix We would like Vance to stop in at our store and select a $5.00 sport shirt as his award. CLOTHING It took us twenty-three years to gain our independence from the major oil companies. But we did. That's why we can give you A BETTER DEAL 'The Little Man With The Oil Can" HEBER JACOBS SERVICE 3605 Harrison Blvd. |
