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Show Page Two WEBER HERALD Weber Herald Published every other Thursday during the school year by the students of the Weber Academy and College. Official paper of Weber Academy and College. Address all communications to Weber Herald. Ogden, Utah. Staff F.rnest Shreeve Kditor Ida Scovvcrol't Exchanges Elmou l.inford Business Mgr. Reporters Walters Stevenson '19. Louise Browning '20 Harris Ridges '21 Kliott Wright '22 THURSDAY, JAN. 9, 1919 Similars 1 ones I'rithee, Scoop, why is a home-run swatter like a ladies' man? Scoop I know not. Why? Bones Because he liketh to conned with a good curve waist high. NEWS OF THE GLASSES The Wrong Line Stan Each hour 1 spend with you is like a pearl to me. Luella Aw, quit stringing me. Apt. "Why do they call the baby 'Bill'?" "He was born on the first of the month." Inquisitive Old Gent And what are you digging for, my good man? Knight of the Pick Money. 1. O. CI. Yon don't sa'. And when do you expect to find it? K. of P. Saturday night. "Who were the good looking girls I saw you with last night?" "Oh. just a couple of Missouri girls." "Missouri girls?" "Yes. show girls." HAVE YOU HEARD THE IIOFFAY MUSIC AT THE BIG HARDWARE STOKE GEO. A. LOWE COMPANY? not, you are missing something. ALL ARE WELCOME Concert every hour of the dav.' B. F. THOMAS PRINTER JZ 2476 WASHINGTON AVE. PHONE 147-J Have you Ever Tried NOODLES If so. you will try them again; if not. try them and you will eat them always. MATSUBA COMPANY 273 TWENTY-FOURTH STREET Your friends can but everything you can give them except your photograph. FORD PHOTOGRAPHER SENIOR STUFF And it came to pass that in the second year of the reign of King Owen K., that the "rlu" waxed strong in Ogden. And it came to pass that on the ninth day of the tenth month of the year 1918, King Beal spoke to the students in devotional saying, 'Behold, the 'flu' is upon us. Weber nusl close until the epidemic is over." nd there was great rejoicing thru-out the school. And it came to pass that the president of the Senior class called a meeting, saying. "Inasmuch as we will not meet together again for a long time, iet's depart to the mountains and have a class party." And it came to pass that on the same night when the Juniors were fast islecp. the Seniors departed into Taylor canyon. And the girls prepared i great feast, and they did eat with great joy. And after they had eaten. Vern Farr went to the spring to get a drink, and he found a bottle. And lo, and behold, it was "milk." And he called his friends and they did drink until they were right merry. And it came to pass that after they had feasted, the class migrated to the mouth of the canyon, where games were indulged in until early morning. And the boys then took the girls, yes, every one of them, and departed for home, after which they met at the "Noodle Joint" on Grant and had a noodle breakfast. The Seniors are already preparing an excellent play and it is needless to ay what we will do in extempo and basketball, as we always take these honors without trouble. We take this opportunity of wishing he faculty and other classes a happy and protperous New Year. W. S. '19. SOPH SAYINGS Last year was certainly a very eventful one for Class '21. With Robert Newman as president we spent a very pleasant and successful year as freshmen. This year, under the capable leadership of John Emmett, the sophomore class is sure going to put some life into things. We are all going to work hard and do our best toward getting a year's credit and yet we will take time for some good lively plays and parties. H. R. '21. "JOSH JENKINS' JUNIORS" The following is a letter received from an old farmer. It shows clearly that even people living in remote districts have heard of the famed Junior class at Weber: My dere feller studints: I aint a going to do no braggin', but the Junior class is shure sky-high this here year. I dont beleive in singin' praises for nobody, but Weber is shure lucky to have Class '20 present with its high spirits. By the way. they are purty good spirits in spite of this here dry state. It aint 'cause I got any special friends or relatives in .his here" class but I'm gittin' on in veers and can tell a good man when I sec him. Take my advice and show vore appreciation that you've got such admirable school-mates, and keep vore eyes open fur comin' events. The Tuniors always have somethin' new ready fur you, so watch 'em close and "hey may reward you trust class '20. Sinseerly Tosh Jenkins. (L. B. '20.) FRESHMAN FOAM The other classes have nothing over he freshman class. We intend to show them that we are the liveliest bunch of greens that ever sprouted in Weber. Far be it from us to praise our accomplishments, but we sure have got the makings. We start off with a rush by electing our class officers at a meeting held in the assembly hall. The contest was very hot and close. When the smoke had cleared away it was found that Lucin Ray had been elected president, with Hazel Stone as vice president and Alice Kerr as secretary and treasurer. Tom Norton was chosen as athletic manager and under his leadership we expect to "clean up" the rest of the classes in basketball. Our choice for yell master brought out Louis Fret-well, who seems to have a pretty good "mouth piece." Our debating team will soon be organized and we expect to find some good orators in the class. There are some good heads in this class, even if we do say it. Our socials and parties will prove to be among the best of the year. You may think this is "bullskivik," but just watch our smoke. E. S. W. '22. WEBER HONORS SOLDIERS Weber's student body met last Friday in one of the most interesting assemblies of the year, to do honor to her returned soldiers. This was the first of a number of like assemblies which will be held from time to time is former students return from the service. Prayer was offered by Prof. Jensen, after which the boys were escorted to he rostrum. After cheers were given for each branch of the service represented. Prof. Jensen introduced the soldiers to the students. Morgan McKay was the first speaker. He gave a very entertaining talk on his experiences in the air service. "Fete" Kasius, one of our instructors, who left last spring, was given a hearty welcome as he rose to speak. His talk, given in his characteristic, humorous manner, ""dealing with his adventures in the navy, was thoroughly enjoyed by the students. The near-battle which he averted by a stragetic retreat, was very amusing. After a brief talk by Ernest Wilk-enson, ex-president of the student body, on life in the S. A. T. C, the college orchesjra nidered the selection. "National Airs." The assembly ended with a ten-minute yell practice, conducted by Russell Petty. The following returned soldiers were present: Army Morgan McKay, England; Vernal Anderson, Camp Kearney; David Peterson. Venice Jones, Camp Zachary Taylor. Navy Peter Kasius, Mare Island; Ralph Robinson, San Diego. Marines William Miller. San Diego. S. A. T. C. Ezra Steel, Raymond Hall. Spencer Butler, Ray Lindsay. Ellis Barker. Jack Wright. Frank Newman, Paul Hinckley, Milton Lindquist, John Campbell. Ernest Wilkenson and Dwight Thompson. After Field (And not expecting to overtake him) The little cheap car is covered with dust, And 'twould coax a curse from the sainted ; Its little tin fenders are red with rust, Where 'twas dipped instead of painted. Time was when the little cheap car was new And looked like a r.eal auter; And that was the time when the chump, now blue, Took a fool notion and bought 'er. "Now. don't you go till you're cranked," he sneered. "Be sure you make plenty of noise." Then cutting loose with his tongue, he queered His chances for heaven's joys. Aye faithful and true to its trust it stands, Still in the self-same place, Awaiting the touch of the factory's hand. The smile on an agent's face! Ex. He Didn't Know "Won't you be very, very happy when your sentence is over?" cheerfully asked a woman of a convict in prison. "I dunno. ma'am, I dunno." gloomily answered the man. "You don't know?" asked the woman, amazed. "Why not?" "I'm in for life." IV TT The- Cockefjy People- tt ) s yam-wet BOOT SHOP BEST SHOE IN THE WORLD FOR THE PRICE PROPER FIT AND STYLE Store Located at 2481 Washington Avenue FOR THE YOUNG MAX A KUPPENIIEIMER SUIT Civilian Clothes with Lines of the Military Figure THE R. & O. QUALITY SHOP DRESSERS OF MEN YOUNG AX1) OLD 362 Twenty-fifth Street GREENWELLS TWO STORES EVERYTHING GOOD TO EAT , pGPSN.UTnir : ,.i" JOHN NORTON POTTED PLANTS, CUT FLOWERS, FUNERAL DESIGNS All at Reasonable Prices 2249 Washington Avenue Phone 768-W ALL HAND WORK PRICES REASONABLE CHAMPION SHOE REPAIR SHOP HANDY LOCATION .308 TWENTY-FOURTH STREET COMMERCIAL NATIONAL BANK CAPITAL xVXD UNDIVIDED PROFITS $300,000.00 Roth Commercial and Savings Accounts Solicited Four Per Cent Paid Quarterly WE ARE AT YOUR SERVICE Give a trial for your grocery needs and you will Always Phone 93 for Eats STEELE-CARLSON GROCERY CO. 3.50 TWENTY-FIFTH STREET Boyle Hardware Co. JOBBERS AND RETAILERS House Hardware, Builders' Hardware, Cutlery, Tools Agents for Spaulding Athletic Goods 3.50 Twentv-Fourth Street Phone 213 |