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Show PAGE FOUR WEBER HERALD "Fflil : Ellf ill I H ORPhEtJlI I HEATIRE. El Hull U eiyyiio timm 0 Bil Tuesday-Wednesday, Feb. 24-25 T JUNIOR LIFE Juniors VOL. I HISTORY OF CLASS For the benefit of the Freshmen, that they may gain some conception of class spirit, and in order to remind the Seniors and Sophomores of the splendid record achieved by Class '21 during their three years at Weber, we have compiled the following history, stating only, so as to make the accounts as brief as possible, the main events in connection with our class. In the year 1917, Class '21 entered as Freshmen, with such a superfluous amount of "pepp" and "school spirit" that it shook the good old Alma Mater from the long sleep in which for so many years she had been engaged. It was from the very first year that this most extraordinary class exhibited to the school, its ability in the line of basketball; for it was after a hard struggle that '19 finally won the class championship. Not only in basketball did we make a record, but we "climbed to the top" in all public speaking contests. Our class parties, also, were the most successful given that year, and it was during our social events that the "tag" dance, which has since become popular at Weber parties, was initiated. With still more enthusiasm, vigor, and success, '21 entered Weber as Sophomores. Again ew astonished the other classes, when we "carried off" the class basketball championship; and again our social activities were the most successful given. The season for baseball and tennis finally came, and it was with envy that the other classes acknowledged '21 as the conquering heroes. Not only were we capable in the athletic field, but victory also crowned us, as the inter-class debating champs. We need not pause any longer on our Sophomore year, our record speaks fr- .itp1. Tr,. concluding that most successful term,, President Emmett said, "This has been a banner year for Class '21. Let us inform you that we have two more coming." As Juniors, we claim that we are still living up to our good reputation of the past. Our reason for not winning class basketball has already been stated, so we will not stop there. Our debating team has been selected and with their hard work we are confident of another class championship. This year '21 has enterd into a social sphere. We have given mtore parties than any other class in school. Our first party was a hike to the hills. It was followed shortly by a dance given to the student body the first one given Dy a class this year. Another class party was given in the assembly hall, and our matinee was one of the most successful ever given in Weber. Everyone will agree with us that our latest event, the Leap Year Dance, was without exception, the best dance given this year. The Junior Class already has plans under way, for a carnival which is to be the most exciting and most fun of any carnival ever before given. Wrait and see. You know what our parties have been in the past, and Patrick Henry said, "There is no other way of judging the future but by the past." Judging from the past you can all be confident of an unusually successful carnival and a wonderful prom. JUNIOR HUMOR Ruth And when we are married we will live near mother, so she can slip over. Claude Yes, We'll live near a cliff. Mr. Lindsay Where did Phil kiss you? Cleone On the lips, father. Mr. L. No, I mean where were you when he kissed you? Cleone Oh, I was in his arms. Three men eating in a restaurant gave the following orders: First Man Bring me ham, eggs and coffee. Second Man Same, with eggs fried. Third Man Same, only eliminate the eggs. In a little while the bewildered negro waiter returned, and said: "Sorry sah, but de cook done broke his eliminator."Mabel I had a friend who was bow legged by marriage. Cora-VThat's nothing. I had a cousin whose hair was grey when lie was twenty-one behind the ears. FEBRUARY ANNOUNCEMENT The second public speaking contest was won by the Junior Class. Our representative was Delbert Wright. Mr. Wright gave one of the best speeches delivered this year. OUR ENCLISH DICE SHAKER On entering the English class last Wednesday we were paralyzed by the announcement of Brother Tracey giving us a thirty minute period in which to learn a poem. Immediately all noses were in books or eyes gazing earnestly at the ceiling with lips moving in attempts to memorize. At the end of the half hour all books were closed and John Emmett was called on to repeat the poem. He arose with a look of uncertainty clouding his handsome features, started with a grand flourish, then stumpled and stopped. Here he called upon his hidden treasure, the knack which makes him famous and which many bright students should adopt. His hand began to shake in the well known movement, and with a snap of his fingers the words flew swiftly and smoothly from his tongue. His form lagged again but with that little hand shake and snap he continued successfully. If Johnny will be so kind as to enlighten the rest of the class we would be very much pleased. By so doing he could help us to deliver our bothersome poems with the same elegant delivery. Elija Clawson. THE KNIGHT OF YORE, HE IS NO MORE Dick was a ragged little boy, who like all poor little newsboys you read about, finds happiness in the end of my story. Dick was walking down the street one afternoon when he spied a little girl, nicely dressed, standing on the corner, softly crying: "Gee, whiz," thought Dick, "Dis is where I make a hit." So he siddled up to "Miss Swell," as he had already "dubbed" her, and' announced his presence by, "Say, kid, yer face ain't dirty, honest it ain't." "I know it isn't," returned the dainty miss, moving away but immediately returning, looked into his face and said confidentially, "I'm lost and don't know how to get home." A fresh burst of tears, then, "You can't blame me. I'm only seven and a half, and, oh, can't you help me home?" "Well, I honest never meant yer face was dirty, but you wuz a bawlin' su many tears I thought maybe that wuz the way you got it so clean. Course I'll help you tu git home. What'll yer gimme?" for Dick, as I have said, was just like most other newsboys, he was none too gallant. "I'll give you a dollar, and maybe." "Awrite, where do yer live?" "I don't know." "Awrite e' mon, what's yer name?" "Isabel White." "Oh, I know where Whites live. I know anything for a dollar." And so the romance ended. Francis O'Niel. TAKEN FROM A DIARY January 9 Today was Junior's Day in Devoshunal an it shore showed off the class talunt. From the advantage point of the kivire seets I tuk in the hul asemble in includin Vard Tannur in his butterfly tie and Miss Cannun in her slit skirt an pokadot underskurt. Elija Clawsun sung the openin himn entitled "Rise Ye Santes Arise." Bill Kasius promplie obeyed the man date an stud up in his wulen shurt and celluliod coler (uncensored sarcasm.) Robert Newman prayed. John Emmutt then tuk the stand to spring a littel wuk an Corn's face went red, what we cud see of it. The skule seamed glad to see him come out of the small pox alrite. Next on the program wuz a talk by Ricks who proceaded to tell the boys that it wuz "leep year" and that tonite thare wood be a danse in which the ladecs wood ask the boys Published ' 12, 1912 NO. 1 ESSAY ON FORDS A Ford is a curious animal. It is the lowest form of automobile life exhibited. In a horse show, mules are not exhibited, in an automobile show Fords are not exhibited. The reason is this: A Ford is a piece of iron mechanism that always runs, and an automobile is a piece of mechanism that goes on the blink. Fords are used for trips and places you want to go. Autos are to stand by the house for people to look at. A Ford runs on its reputation, an auto runs on gasoline. The process of purchasing a Ford is something like that of buying insurance. This is the process: A man goes to buy a Ford, he is first sent to a Doctor where he is examined as to his physical condition. If the Doctor pronounces his as "healthy" the dealer sells him a Ford. The reason is this: A Ford has no springs, no self-starter, no cushions, hard rubber tires, etc. A man is in danger of his life all the time and if seriously hurt while riding in one, the company is sued unless a doctor's certificate is on file. A man always insures his life before buying one. That is the reason the life insurance company and Henry Ford are intimate friends. John Emmett. LIGHTS ON LABORATORY LUCK Experiment 28, 1920. Object To Study hard luck. Materials 6 test tubes, 1 florence flask, 1 silk shirt, nitric acid, ammonium chloride, calcium hydroxide, delivery tube, 3 swear words. I mixed the calcium hydroxide and ammonium chlirode in the falsk and heated. Dr. Lind said to be careful I was so scared awful. I heated gen tly and waited for the gas to come I put the delivery tube up my nose to tell when the gas came, 5,000,000 cubic centimeters, all at once, my nose was paralyzed. I en minutes later I began work. I reached for a bottle of nitric acid and tipped my test tube rack on the floor, breaking three dollars worth of test tubes. picked the rack up and put it on my desk, and observed that the nitric acid was poured all over my desk. cussed a string of adjectives that made Oa's face turn red. I thought or the $4 1 had paid for the two theatre tickets for tonight. I wiped the acid up. I put the delivery tube in a bottle of water. I again started to write this experiment. I got my silk shirt in some nitric 'acid. cussea again, i ooserved a hole m my $10 shirt. I was in despair. 1 left the tube in the water too long. the water took the place of the gas and ran back into flask. It busted I mean it broke. It went all over my books. I was at the end of endur ance. I wanted revenge. I did not know how to get it. I was not going to clean it up. Doctor came over. I decided I better. Con. I quit chemstry. Yours truly, Stewart Cussem Campbell. io goe. inare wuz goin to De a check stand an the tikets wood be fore bits which the gurls wood pay. Ada Wright then gave a reeding and maid us laff. The Come-a-tissew club favored us with a seleshun which was splendid fore those who like that kind of music. This concluded the program and Eddrip proceaded to play "Tell Me." (Signed) Comical Clix. Delbert Wright So you are from Indiana? She Yes, Hoosier Girl. Delbert Why er really that is I don't I mean I haven't just decided who. Lorna Let's drop in and see Ruth. Doris We better not, Carl might be there. Lorna Oh no he's not. The lights are on. Retta Folkman is going to start to school again soon. It seems she does not see enough of Lije of late. We think Ron Holmes has been mentioned enough of late, so we will let him rest this issue. By the way the Freshies are sure a nice bunch, aren't they? Yes, they aren't. WE NEED Big or little, this bank wants your account, because we know that once started the little accounts will grow to our mutual advantage. YV e pay 4 per cent interest compounded quarterly and your principal is secure and the interest a certainty. Why not start today? A dollar opens a Savings Account here. H. C. BIGELOW, President Our Store is Headquarters for athletic supplies of every character. We carry only the best quality merchandise. Every article is fully guaranteed by us. You must be absolutely satisfied with every purchase you make in our store. Your complete satisfaction is essential to our success and we shall overlook no opportunity to please you. Suppose a boy of 17 determined to save $6.00 a week at 3 per cent compound interest. He will have in his 24th year $1675. of which $110. will be interest. Now figure how much you can save if you try, and how much it will amount to at compound interest in 5 or 10 years. Utah National Bank of Ogden These days it's pretty hard to tell by his hair cut whether he is a rube or a genius. Well, there are two people in the world who think it's fun to have "small pox." After Examinations Student says Ye Gods, what a test!!! She asked just the ones I didn't know. I hate her anyway. Teacher says Heavens, how will I ever get them corrected. The questions were too easy to ask. I like the little duffers anyway. Wanted A good looking,.-, classy girl who is skilled in the art of dancing; who specializes in fox trots and one steps, but does not waltz. Apply Allan Bayle, between the hours of two. P. S: Girls, whose parents do not allow them out evenings, need not apply, i BRIEFLY STATED Pretty maid Quite afarid That the Fates As she skates May desroy her fun. Sees the ice, Thinks it nice Finds a beau Off they go Two that glide as one. II Hie along Leave the throng Stretch the stride River's wide. How their young hearts thrill! Ice is thin Both plunge in; Sick in bed Papa foots the bill. Anonymous. I. F. H. Lost A wrist watch by a girl with radio dial. A- cane by a bright Sophomore with a bone head. A hand bag by a Senior girl with a cracked lid. For sale A piano by a man with carved legs. A chair by a man with a leather back. A clock by a gentleman with a broken main spring. Wanted 800 students to see "The Fortune Hunter." YOUR SAVINGS OGDEN STATE BANK BROWNING BROTHERS CO. Everything for Every Sport for Every Season. 2451 Hud son Avenue, Ogden, Utah Fone Four Five Only Pure Creamery Butter Used Batter Kissed Popcorn Always Fresh Iciimfeirlfimt the- Cfoctcery People FOR. SHOE Wrhy is chemistry like love? Because the lower the gas, the greater the pressure. Among the missing this year we "nd the following names: Tom and Jerry. Live sof football men remind us, That they write their names in blood, And departing leave behind them Flalf their faces in the mud. Them's My Sentiments You can put the big smack on whisky, And pour out all the beer; Then hang the moonshiners one by one, But leave the moonshine nere. Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. Lay of An Assembly Room Lizzard A little love, a little kiss, There isn't any sense to this I'm told; A little heat would give us bliss; There really is some sense to this; We're cold. ACCOUNT 419 1-2 25th Street FROM $7.50 to $12.50 A PAIR Clara's 2358 Washington Avenue J. S. Lewis Co. Jewelers Class Pins Class Rings Continuous Business Since 1849 JOHN J. SCHWARTZ Groceries and Notions School Supplies, Candy and Fruits 2234 Jefferson Avenue PHONE 1145-w t |