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Show Page 2 SIGNPOST May 7, 1954 SIGNPOST BI-WEEKLY PUBLICATION ASSOCIATED STUDENTS OF WEBER COLLEGE 402 Moench Building Phone Weber College 3-8431 Signpost Extension OGDEN, UTAH Editor Feature Editor Sports Editor Photography Editor Cartoonist Society Editor Reporters Vance Pace, Bill Murdock, Ozmun, Barbara Roberts, Ted Kubota, McDonald, Sally Powell, Sally Colohan, ders, and all club reporters. Audri Montgomery Lois McDonough Ken Hull , Neil Evans Paul Farber Sally Powell Ed. St. Clair, Duane Marilyn Arnold, Kay Sig Pont, Nancy San- Spring Is Sprung! "It's Spring, let me live!" This is one of the inscriptions found on several signs about the campus. In case you're wondering what it's all about, the general idea is to keep students from walking over the lawn and killing it out. Some of you may not have noticed the beauty of our campus, but being a nature lover I have. You can tell by lust a glance how much work is put into keeping it neat ana beautiful. But even with all this work students are gradu ally destroying this beauty. Such things as broken pop bottles. lunch papers, cigarette butts and tromping continually over some stretches of grass don't help the looks of the campus at all. If each one will take an inventory of themselves to see if they're guilty, and if they are, correct it; then Weber can maintain the beauty every Spring brings. Anything Goes BICARBONATE ANYONE? Hello, Again! Should once more? (Say, that was a snap py opening). I went to a banquet in Salt Lake last week. You know what a banquet is that's a plate of cold hairy chicken surrounded by artificially colored peas and appeals for donations. When you get through eating, there's usually an after-dinner speaker after dinner speaking, that's the art of diluting a two minute speech with a two hour vocabulary. YAK! YAK! YAK! At most banquets, as soon as the speaker gets through, there's a program. First, two guys usually get up and the conversation usually goes something like this: 1st: Why does a chicken cross the road? 2nd: What kind of chicken? 1st: What difference does that make? 2nd: Then what difference does it make why he crosses the road? 1st: OK! OK! Why does a black Minorca cross the road? 2nd: Black Minorca, that's a chicken? 1st: That's what it is. Why does it cross the road? 2nd: What kind of road? 1st: Now what difference does that make? 2nd: Well, if the black Minorca crosses a macadam road, maybe he's hiding from the chickens. . 1st: Skip it. Why does a Plymouth Rock cross the road? 2nd: So a Pilgrim won't step on it. 1st: Why does a Rhode Island Red cross the road? 2nd: He is one his way to Washington to be investigated. 1st: OK! Now, let's get back to the original question. Why does a chicken cross the road? 2nd: That was no chicken, that was my wife. O SOL O MEO Next on the program is a soprano. When she was a little girl she cultivated her voice. After listening to her, you think it should have been plowed under. Besides that, she sounds like a tenor tenor 12 notes off. No Dice McCarthy! After peace and harmony are restored, a lady gets up to give a reading something like this: Once upon a time (that being the way most stories for children begin, for reasons obscure to me obviously if it happened at all it must have happened sometime), there lived a little girl who was given to wearing a red hood on her head and to accepting rides from strangers. Therefore, she was known as Little Red Riding Hood. For the information of the Jr. Senator from Wisconsin, the occurrence of the word "Red" in her By SIG PONT we try name has no political connotations, either as regards herself or her authors. Little Red Riding Hood lived in a small cottage on the edge of the forest. It was quite a ways from the nearest bus line and even further from the highway where she accepted rides from strangers, but at least it was a roof over her head, and with housing conditions being what they are, who was she to argue? Sharing the house with Red was her mother, a fact which doesn't-strain credulity, since statistics show that in the United States alone, some 116,408,972 parents and offspring live together, though not all on the edge of forests. This may have been true in the years past (before the development of the lumber industry, which each year turns out more than 506,946,883,725 board feet of lumber), but under modern living conditions there just aren't that many forests around . Well, that's the way it goes for about an hour. The other numbers on the program aren't even worth mentioning. So much for banquets. Till next time, then, remember, brevity is the soul of wit. On the other hand, who thinks about his soul when he's telling a joke. Sez Who Ahh! Spring Fever The question asked around the campus this week was: "What do You do for spring Fever? Here are the answers. ""l!"? "What do you do i for spring fever? '? I catch it! So far, V-3 I haven't found a cure for it; sorry to say. Who likes to study Anyway? Good-by A's. Ho hum!" John Bradshaw I don't know. When I catch it, I go up to the dam and have big parties. That seems to help. (Encourage it, I'd say)." Sonya Simpson "Oh brother! I just give in to it it's such fun! (I refuse to answer any further questions on the grounds that it might bring to light incriminating evidence)!" Uarda Swenson "Suffer! Thafs about all you can do! Right now, I'm suffering." 4 V 1 Bob and Karen Reign Over Mardi Gras Bob Standing and Karen Carver were chosen to reign over the Mardi Gras festivities held in the White City Ballroom last April 24. Sigma, who sponsored the "Pie Throwing" booth was awarded first prize for taking in the most money. In this booth, everyone got a chance at their secret ambition to throw a pie in some victim's face. Although most everyone had a gay time, there were still those who went home disappointed because Dr. Stratford was unable to fill his job. as a target. Big Business And by the way, it can't be said that Otyokwa's "Kissing" booth lacked business. All of the booths were decorated in lavish colors and the sponsors did a terrific job and are to be commended for it. Several door prizes were given away at intermission time. Jay Anderson won the main prize, which was a large stuffed Teddy Bear. The evening was climaxed by dancing to the music of Art Smart's Quartet. Students Tell Secret Of Success "How To Get Good Grades", a book which can be obtained in the college library, was the source to which this reporter was referred when I asked Mary Moore, honor student here at Weber, her formula for receiving so many 3.0 averages. Mary is a sophomore and has received a 3.0 average four out of five possible quarters and hopes she is on the way to another perfect card this quarter. Mary says she studies an average of 10 hours per week and carries an approximately 18 hours per quarter. However, when asked whether or not "polishing the apple" helped her get good grades, all she would say was "no comment".A court reporter is the occupation Mary had chosen; therefore while at Weber she has been taking primarily a business course. Besides maintaining good grades Mary works twenty hours per week, doing work for Dr. Stratford, and holds the office of Treasurer of Chanodo. After interviewing four people (students), this reported came to the conclusion that of all straight A students are either shy or bashfull (not wishing to be mentioned), introverts (those frightened by the world) of faithfuls (those staying true to that girl or boy who is away at school by studying all the time). Big Taste ttm-h -'J- ' . v.. Dex Farr gets pie in his face at the Mardi Gras. Unim, good! Want A Car? Here Is One Good Buy! Hell Week hath charms that soothed the pocketbook and condoned a tired Weber College student's father for sleep lost. Aria Wangsgard fell heir to a string of consequences that provided her with a climax,anti-climax and a new Studebaker, for any novels she might choose to write about the event. She was left with the better part of ten tickets for 'the annual polio drive dance, unsold. She made up the difference out of her own resources. The dance was held and the intermission found a nervous crowd waiting for the big drawing. The number came out of the turning mass of stubs. Her strategy paid off dividends for the Wangsgard family; Aria held the winning ticket. Father Roused Her father, yet unknowing of his daughter's providing action. was roused from deep sleep by the insistent ring of the telephone and his daughter's broken exclamations.The anti-climax is an answer to a car buyer's prayer; the car, with but 70 miles registering, is for sale. "Eager prospects will be listened to anytime," said the tax-paying family. Outstanding Students These Kids Have Lots on Ball By SALLY COLOHAN An enchanting "Evening in Paradise" set the scene for the presentation of two beautiful Bulova wrist watches to pretty Joan Standing and six-foot Jerry Brown last Friday, April 23 at the Collegiate Promenade, after being named "Mr. and Miss Collegiate." Joan, a sophomore majoring in general education, is a member of Sharmea, and has been the club's reporter-historian during the past year. Joan is one with a wholesome and very pleasant personality, is surprisingly humorous . . . and lots of fun. Alpha Rho's tall and handsome Jerry Brown is a major in law and hopes to receive his degree from the University of Utah. Jer- Phoenix P I F F Coming Soon Frosh Sponsor Last Monday Phoenix and LD took off for Crystal Springs for a party of swimming, skating and dancing. Everyone present had a good time, and we all enjoyed LD's food. Coming up is our annual PIFF (this means Phoenix Invitational Foothill Frolic). Bob Standing, freshman president, is in charge of the event and promises a rollicking good time. The freshmen sponsor this party in honor of the graduating sophs. On Thursday, April 29, we had a party with the Merry Maids. We ate delicious food and played games and danced at the Utah Power & Light Auditorium. It was really a swell party. Thanks, Chanodo. Outstanding Students By SALLY COLOHAN I wonder . . . how many of you students have noticed that the letter "A" no longe rstands for "A as in apple" . . .. but "A as in Allen" Among the "Outstanding Student" articles which have appeared in The Signpost, three of these students own the name of Allen. A bit unusual. Noma Allen You should all remember Noma, who recently was in the spotlight for Weber's friendliest girl. Sincerity, charm and all-around service to Weber is her success story thus far. Jack Allen The majority of the Weber coeds for a time preferred the tall, modest and popular sort of fellow. They voted Jack as their most preferred man on the campus. Lila Allen And quite recently, a flashing red haired freshman girl with the name of Lila was honored as "Freshman Queen." Friendliness, initiative, energy and a sparkling personality put her there. These outstanding personalities spell: Ability Leadership Liveliness Efficiency Naturalness, which they stand. the qualities for ry is also interested in drama and speech. He will demonstrate his acting ability soon in "John Loves Mary." She Was Only A creditor's daughter, but she allowed no advances. A golfers daughter, but her form was perfect. A printers daughter, but I liked her type. FOR SCHOOL SUPPLIES, GREETING CARDS, AND OFFICE EQUIPMENT SEE WEBER OFFICE SUPPLY CO. 325 24th STREET |