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Show Editorial WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 2012 3 THE SIGNPOST The Signpost Viewpoint In remembrance of Whitney Houston On Sunday night, the Grammy Awards were overcast by news Of the death of Whitney Houston. The loss shocked the musical world that weekend, and her absence left a hole in the abnormally somber musical celebrations. One great irony, however, is that Whitney would have probably been absent from the celebrations anyway. On a night when she had, in past years, been so dominant, effervescent and omnipresent, she was conspicuously absent in both a literal and figurative fashion. Whitney Houston, at the height of her career, was incomparable. Born with supermodel-good looks and a voice that is still, perhaps, the best pound-for-pound voice the pop world has ever seen, Houston owned the industry "The StarSpangled Banner" got a facelift at the 1991 Super Bowl when she sang it, and many others have tried (and failed) to mimic her decorativebut-natural attempt at the anthem. She inspired singers across the world, both individual and artificial, to imitate her acrobaticbut-melodic style, and essentially spawned an entire generation of SCHILLER • CRAVENS singers over the last 2-3 decades. Everybody, from Christina Aguilera to Beyonce, from Jennifer Hudson to Faith Hill, from Mariah Carey to Sara Bareilles, has Whitney to thank for the bar she set in the women singers' market. Televised karaoke hours like American Idol were built on the voices of singers like Houston. Starry-eyed hopefuls demonstrated vocal prowess not by interpretation or musicality, like Houston would have advised them to, but by producing hollow copies of Houston's style, attempting to pack as many notes into a measure as possible, or belting notes so loudly they begged for respect, instead of commanding it. But these days, her powerful pipes are not echoing like they once were. Houston struggled publicly with substance abuse, which damaged her voice and confidence more than could ever be measured. She had already started to disappear from the performance spotlight. A recent solo album was less than stellar, and the sound of drugs and alcohol tinged her singing and wore on her endurance. It could be said that Whitney, if she'd started singing today, might have been just as successful. These days, that smoky sound is just what record companies are after. In fact, in that Sunday-night Grammy celebration, Adele, the smoky, soulful songstress from across the pond, swept all six award categories for which she was nominated, and rightfully so. No one has changed the female vocal sound like Adele. Well, maybe one other person. Comment on this column ai wsusignpost.corr, Abstract Academic A comprehensive Valentinian history Kory Wood • The Signpost columnist ©2012 Jay Schiller & Greg Cravens COMING HOME FROM COLLEGE TO YOUR CAT COMING HOME FROM COLLEGE 10 YOUR DOGS: ►) 3 ° IF Orli01 Editor-in-Chief Managing Editor Asst. Managing Editor News Editor Sports Editor Photo Editor Business Editor Spencer Garn Stephanie Simonson Thomas Alberts Eric Jensen Nathan Davis Amanda Lewark Jessica Klemm 626-7121 626-7614 626-7614 626-7655 626-7983 626-8071 626-7621 Valentine's Day. Love. Roses. Chocolate-dipped heart arrow cherubic teddy bear singing telegram sweetie-pies. Blah, blah, blah. As you're reading this column, you have recently exited the Valentinian haze of yesterday. Hopefully, your holiday was spent doting fondly on a loved one. Or, if you're one of our small group of readers from the Utah-Arizona border, loved ones (a hearty shout-out to loyal Signpost readers Willard and Issachar Merrill. I hope there were enough heart-shaped rose bouquets to go around). Sometimes, in all the hustle and bustle of Valentine's Day as we're out hunting down that last $@#$ tin of salted caramels that our wife said she wanted six weeks ago, but we forgot to look for until our lunch break at noon on the 14th, and then the lady at the See's counter just laughs at the guy in front of you in line when he asks for the same thing, I mean, laughing so hard that she has to lean on the countertop to catch her breath, and she totally puts her elbows into a dish of chocolate orange creams because nobody buys those because they taste like the candy that Josef Stalin would give out at Halloween, and then you and every other guy in line slump dejectedly and walk back out to your cars, debating between giving her an Amazon gift card or a "coupon book" for "free at-home massages" and "one vacuumed floor" and other things that loser guys get for the women in their lives because they forgot to think of something the weekend before Valentine's Day because (I will finish this paragraph if it kills me) your boss/psych professor/team man- Features Editor A&E Editor Copy Editor Adviser Ad Manager Office Manager ager has really been busting your chops lately. .. . Anyway, sometimes, in all that Valentine's noise and forgetful shame, we miss the true meaning of the holiday, which is that . . . well, lots of things. For instance: In the year 842, the Oath of Strasbourg is sworn on by Louis the German and Charles the Bald, two brothers who were not, as their names would suggest, mob hitmen, but who actually were European royalty. In fact, historians say that Charles the Bald was actually very hairy and apparently earned his nickname in a facetious manner, like "Little" John or Michael "Great Singer" Bolton. In 1779, Captain James Cook is killed by native Hawaiians. Historians agree that death was caused both by overexposure to kitschy luaus and by being forced to try poi. In 1849, James K. Polk becomes the first active president of the United States to have his photograph taken, thus cementing his place in the annals of American history as the most famous president ever. In 1852, the Great Ormond St. Hospital for Sick Children is founded. It is the first hospital built specifically for sick children . . . OK, no jokes there. In 1855, Texas is linked by telegraph to the rest of the United States. The line is first switched on in 1987. In 1859, Oregon is admitted to the U.S. as the 33rd state. Oregon militia members celebrate by keeping their hackey sacks aloft for more than 10 minutes, and then going out for a few rounds of green tea and a public viewing of some Czech art films. In 1912, the first diesel-powered submarine is commissioned in Connecticut. It takes six hours traveling down the freeway to reach Times Square, where it is greatly disappointed by Spiderman: The Musical. Also in 1912, Arizona is admit- Jerrica Archibald Kory Wood Jennifer Sanda Shane Farver Shelley Hart Georgia Edwards ted as the 48th U.S. state. Senator John McCain begins his bid for the presidency. In 1920, the League of Women Voters is founded in Chicago, Ill. After a few rounds of light refreshments, craft sessions and rousing speeches, they are ready to vote by 1924 (ha, ha, female readers! Keep picking up The Signpost!). In 1929, six of Al Capone's rival gangsters are murdered in Chicago, Ill., in the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre. The League of Women Voters quickly organize a community-rallying mandatory potluck for the funeral (all right, all right, I'll lay off). In 1949, the Asbestos Strike in Canada marks the beginning of the Quiet Revolution in Quebec. This inspires the Silent Insurgency of Saskatchewan, followed by the Muffled Upheaval of Newfoundland, which quickly gave way to the rather disappointing Unobtrusive Pouting of North Dakota. In 1961, University of California chemists first synthesize Element 103, named Lawrencium after the Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory. Berkeley chemists swiftly reject assistant chemist Bert Stacklyn's suggestion that the element instead be named after his pet rat, Captain Snowyboots. In 1966, Australian currency is decimalized. Millions of joyous Australians gather in the streets to yell, "Huh!? What's decimalization?!" In 1989, American ornithologist (bird scientist) James Bond dies, presumably from exhaustion at having to laugh politely for 80 years every time someone made a dumb joke about his name. In 2000, the spacecraft NEAR Shoemaker enters orbit around Asteroid 433 Eros, where it finds several members of the Chicago League of Women Voters attempting to locate a satisfactory cupcake shop. Comment on this column at wsusignpost.corn 626-7105 626-7624 626-7659 626-7526 626-6359 626-7974 The Signpost is a student publication, written, edited and drafted by Weber State University The Signpost reserves the right to edit for reasons of space and libel and also reserves the right students. Student fees fund the printing of this publication. Opinions or positions voiced to refuse to print any letter. 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