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Show WEBER HERALD PAGE THREE Join the "FOUR MILLION" RIDE A NATIONAL BICYCLE Designed and Built to Give ECONOMICAL and LASTING PERFORMANCE The H. C. Hansen Co. 2Jt68 Hudson Avenue VITALIC TIRES, BICYCLE REPAIRING UTAH'S BEST M Is HONEY MOON CHOCOLATES W. F. JENSEN CANDY CO. Ogden Salt Lake , Logan WALL PAPER, of Every Kind Griffin Paint Company 2 310 Washington Avenue Utah Theatre Presents Superior Screen Pictures A sound wave expands as it travels This you find only in the Couturier Conical Bore Band INSTRUMENT see them at Williams Music Co. 2215 Washington Ave. $25 This is the price we ask for an all-wool made to your measure suit. All the very newest styles and patterns are now on display. New woolens are coming in every day. Come in and order now. Every Suit Guaranteed HOWARD WILLIAMS, Mgr. 2309 Washington Avenue .-v ,d. (- " ''tt, APRIL FIRST TOPICS OF THE DAY WEBER STUDENTS ARE INVOLVED IN SCANDAL Facts Disclosed in Cross-Examination Reflects Upon Prominent Students Dear Dr. Lind: While the most serious disclosures have not been made public there is enough evidence in the rumor to justify publication ot some interesting facts brought to light last Tuesday. It appears that Le-land Johnson and Delbert Wright attended the opera without partners, but were unwilling to leave so. Meeting Cleone Lindsay and Dorothy Nichols, they induced them to go for a ride. Unknown to the young ladies, the boys had "spotted" a car and moved it to a place where it could be taken with safety. Miss Cleone, however, noticed signs of familiarity about the car and wan soon convinced that it did not belong to these young men, but to Ray Ballantyne. Under pretense of having to advise their parents of their wherabouts the two girls entered a house at 4328 Washington avenue, and called, first Ray and then the police office, giving information about the car and its probable course. The party continued on its way toward Salt Lake. For some reason, not as yet discovered by anyone except the participants, the car left the road and rolling over and over landed solidly twenty I feet below. As the car struck, Le-land Johns.on grunted preservingly, "Wouldn't that jar you?" Soon after extrication from the ruins and identification as to which was which Ray arrived in considerable heat to claim his car. Amid tears from the girls and endearing remarks between the young men the police arrived and took in the situation at a glance. They can do that. All but one thing. Closer observation revealed that the car was one listed in the office as stolen nearly a year ago. Now Ray's heat froze, while still at boiling point and he appeared uncomfortable, but Delbert reassured him as he pointed to the police, "Wouldn't that git you?" But "first aid" was needed. One of the girls was severely injured, and the unsanitary slew in which they had anchored, for better or for worse, made a disinfectant necessary immediately. Ray started for a telephone. As he passed the police he heard one say, "That's Dr. Em-mett's car.'' Suddenly he recalled that the injured girl was the one that John Emmett has been wasting his money on and he determined to call the Emmett home for relief. John answered the call. "Have you any carbolic acid in the house?" came the call, "A young lady named Miss Dorothy has been badly injured and must have immediate attention." Excitedly young Emmett searched the house. Returning he 'phoned, "Yes, I have a little in a bottle here." Before he could ask further instructions there came back suicidedly, "Wouldn't that kill you?" I was awakened by the morning breaking into day. It was Friday, April 1st. It was a dream. I saw Bro. Manning steaming across the park seemingly quite distressed that the faculty meeting couldn't come across to him. I wasn't at all dis-dressed or dressed either, but I beat Bro. Manning there, arriving just in time to hear someone say, "We have still the question to settle whether or not anyone can make a circle with one end." Wouldn't that finish you? APRIL FOOL. Would it surprise you to know that you are uppermost in our minds for many hours? That's a fact, particularly when we are in room three. We are ever conscious of your nearness; often our eyes fill with tears to overflowing, and we have to use our handkerchiefs. This becomes embarrassing, especially if we haven't one. Gentle reminders of your labors greet us through the adjoining door and pipe holes in the wall. Indeed we are not slighted. H2S and CI 2 and other powerful s;ases penetrate our walls and we bow before thee. Is it possible no you cannot be conscious of your marked success; maybe you all have colds, or do you wear gas masks? If you could install a few gas consumers, Frank Douglas for instance, or pass the gas masks it would indeed be the act of a gentleman and a scholar. I am speaking for all the English classes that neighbor on your south. I plead save us save us lest we perish . Stand back women and children first. Yours till the end, VERA WEST. WHAT MY EDUCATION IS DOING FOR ME Loyal Hinton: It is making me better acquainted with my folks. Elizabeth Fife: It is exhausting my imagination and paralyzing my memory. , Philip Orth: Teaching me to face the danger of a woman's tongue. Heber Jacobs: To follow the straight and narrow way on my way home to dinner, instead of cutting through the park. Frank Douglas: It is making me a spendthrift. How I do spend my time! Eugene Wallace: To take defeat in argument. Elmina Peterson: To conquer my bashfulness. Cherril Hicks: It is teaching me that it takes more than a week to turn out a first class stenographer. Floyd Barnett: It is ruining my good disposition. Leroy Lofgreen: It has made my hat too small for me, and it has developed my sweet tooth. Sherman Couch: It is giving me new ideas to try out. Joseph DeHaan: It has put me on the goose egg list, and I may at some time be an expert salesman for the Dodge Automobile Company. Bennett Anderson: I like my schooling, but it is teaching me that "when it comes to living, there is no place like home.'' It is also preparing me for college, or as my father calls it, "a four year lay off." Clela Bonham: It is enlarging my soul at the expense of my soles. Thomas Higgs: It is keeping me away from shows, and other places where I have important business. Byron Porter: It is developing me mentally. Arvilla Burrup: It is causing much family tribulation. Evelyn Spiers: It is teaching me that simplicity is best. Jack Crossley: It necessitates my eating four meals a day. Sherman West: It is teaching me my E, F, G's. Alton Poulsen: It prepareth a seat for me in the presence of the faculty. It draineth my purse. My cap runneth away. L jj 225 eoe uanieis Chocolates THE RENOWN SWEETS The Shupe-Williams Candy Co. Ogden, Utah Preferred by every Gollege Student J li V Play Ball! Don't forget that GOLDSMITH'S complete line of Uniforms, Glovest Masks, Bats, and Balls are carried by C. E. Armstrong & Co. 306 Twenty-fifth Sreet New Method Dentists Our Motto: "Better Dentistry Cheaper' We have Specialists in all branches of Dentistry Ogden Office, 2469 Wash. Ave. Phone 766 w Salt Lake Office, 1 59 So. Main Phone Wasatch 3393 "See Us First" Watson-Tanner Clothing Company WINCHESTER STORE H ere is the place to get that brace, bits and drills to match it. ssorted locks and shot-gun stocks; a Jack-knife or a hatchet, Hazors, tacks, the saw the ax, varnish, oils and glues, Da7.ey jars and wrecking bars, rope, squares, spades and screws, VVrinches great and up-to-date, a "twister" that is right, nd silverware is here for fair, with that Winchester Light. Rivets, rasps, files, hinges, hasps, bolts, hammers, nails and wire, Extra blades for different trades, and all that you desire. Reasonably honest, although we sell hardware and steel! RIGHT HERE WATSON-FLYGARE HDW. Co. The black-haired boy had a mighty contempt for the tow-headed, boy. "Huh," he said, "Your mother takes in washing." "Of course she does," the tow-headed boy retorted. "You didn't think she would leave it hanging out at night unless your father was in jail, did you?" |