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Show Page Four WEBER HERALD SLEDS Spend your leisure Lour out in the open with a sled or a pair of skis. It's healthy and lots of fun C. E. ARMSTRONG 306 25th Street WE SOLICIT YOUR PATRONAGE Give us a trial for your grocery needs and you will always PHONE 93 FOR EATS STEELE-CARLSON GROCERY CO. 350 25TH STREET he best shoe Values are to be found in JONES SHOES THE H. W. JONES CO. 24C1 Washington Ave., Ogden. SHOES FOR UHE WHOLE FJMILY THE Watson-Tanner Clothing Co. The store where your dollar is always worth 100 cents to you 'SEE US Bramwell Book Extensive Books, Stationery, School 23G2 Washington Avenue. Students of Weber Weber College Prepares you for life And you will never get more real joy in life, than in your association with us. The High School offers the best in any course, wether Commercial, Practical, or Intellectual, that is to be had in the state Watch our Qraduale He has a Reputation SKIS SCOVILLE PAPER CO. WHOLESALE and Lots OF IT FIRST" and Stationery Dealers and Office Supplies Phone 3G0 Should patronize the advertisers in the WEBER HERALD LAUGHLETS "Aldous," whispered -Airs. Dixon, poking her sleeping hubby in the ribs, "Wake up, there are burglars in the pantry and they're eating all my pies." "Well, what do we care," mumbled Aldous, rolling over, "so long as they don't die in the house?". Ancestral Pride Crushed Mary S. My ancestors came over in the Mayflower. Ruth W. It's lucky they did; the immigration laws are a little stricter now. Ignorance is Bliss Lady (on a submarine): How jolly! And what do you do? Sailor: I runs for'r'd, mum, and t:ps her up when we wants to dive. Mistress Do you know how to serve company? New Girl Yes'm; either way. Mistress Either way? New Girl Yes'iA"; so's they'll come pgain, or so they won't. Ex. Explanation of Light Economy Jbill Do you know that turning down the gas saves matches? Co-ed No, I thought that turning down the gas frequently made matches.(Editor's Note. Turning off an e'ectric light often causes sparking. Turning off a gas light causes an increase of pressure. An increase of pressure causes a lessening of the waist.) Russel I dreamed last night I proposed to a beautiful girl. Jo (breathlessly) And what did I say? Teacher in Sunday School Name some passage in the BiCTe which says that a man shall not marry twice. Bright Boy "No man shall serve two masters." New Dress Mrs. Farley Bertha, take off your dress and put the potatoes on. THE fOR MEN A little boy wrote an essay on cats and gave the following information: "Cats that's made for little boys and girls to maul and tease is called Maultease Cats. Some cats is known by their queer purrs. These is called I'ursian Cats. Cats with very bad tempers is called Angorrie Cats. Cats with deep feelings is called Feline Cats." In the parlor there were three, Leo L., the parlor lamp and G ; Two is a company, no doubt. So the little lamp went out. Ex. KARL STOREY WINS EXTEMPO. FOR JUNIORS SENIORS LEAD AFTER THE FIFTH CONTEST As the contests now stand, the Seniors still lead with a score of 9; the Juniors come second, .scoring 8, and the Sophs and Frosh tie with a score of G apiece. The subjects and speakers follow: Should Munition Trades Remain Permanent, Karl Storey; Have Labor I ' ti i m u !!-,, i,,,! T.il-il In din IT H ' Stanley Rhees; The Part of Factory (Labor in the War, Charles Llnford; What Should Bo the Punishment of the I. W. W? Clawson nowis. Oh, the' meanness of a Junior when he's mean, Oh, the leanness of a Senior when he's lean, - But the meanness of the meanest, And the leanness of the leanest, Are not in it with the greenness of a Freshman when he's green. Fres'hie Were you out in all that rain? Senior No, I was merely in that portion of the rain that descended in my immediate vicinity. Doc Name three articles containing starch. Dale Two cuffs and a collar. Lou As long as I live I will love you. Mamie Oh, Lou, would you slop just because you were dead?. Man (coming up for the last time) Ileip! Help! I can't swim! Rustic Rube on Shore I can't neither, but 1 ain't braggin' 'bout it. O. F. B. Wise men hesitate; only fools are certain. E. L. W. Are you sure? O. F. B. I am certain. Edith A. When that farmer boy kissed me he told me he had never kissed a girl before. I was furious. L. W Why? E. A. I told him I absolutely objected to being an agricultural experiment station. He who knows not and knows that he knows not, is a Freshman. Shun him. He who knows not and knows not lh.it he knows not, is a Sophomore. Avoid him. He who knows and knows not that he knows, is a Junior. Wake him. He who knows and knows that he knows, is a Senior. Follow him. Ex. $4.00 to $9.00 A Pair CLARK'S 23."S Washington Ave. Everyday Chatter Absolute Knowledge I have none, Lilt my aunt's charwoman's sister's son Heard a policeman on his beat Toil a housemaid in Downing street That he had a brother who had a friend Who knew when the war was going to end. Ex. An Anatomical Quiz Where can a man buy a cap for his knees? Or a key for a lock of his hair? Can his eyes bo called an academy Because there arc pupils there? In the crown of his head, what gems are .found? Who travels the bridge of his nose? What can be used, when shingling the root of his mouth? The nails in the ends of his toes? Can the crook of bis elbow be sent to jail? I low does he sharpen his shoulder blades? I'll be hanged it I know do you Ex. Savage Is Going to the Bad Savage- Do you believe the story of Jonah and the whale? ' Wm. V. I thought that I would wait until I got to heaven and then aslt Jonah. Savnge- What iC Jonah isn't there? Win. V. Why, then you ask him. HaveYouEver TriedNoodles If so you .will try" them again''. If not, try them and you will eat them always. , 273 24th St. MARTIN'S CASH GROCERY Most up-to-date stock. Lowest prices on bench. "If advertised we have it" School supplies and Candus. 740 21th St. Phone 537 Kennedy's Cafe and Bakery A Good Place to Eat Open G A. M. to 12 Midnight Established 1904. Duality Electric Fixtures ELECTRIC SUPPLY CO. Phor.e 77 1 -W. B. Krislofferion., Mgr. Opposite Allianibria Theatre . S. Lewis & Co. Jewelers and Opticians In Ogden since 1S70 The best is none too good for the Students of Weber Painless Dentists East side Washington, between 24th and 25th 2468 Wasningtcn Ave. Its a Fact The sweetness of Low Price . never equals The bitterness of Poor Quality PAINE & HURST Where the Women Trade A Useful Christmas Gift. Beautiful poems of Utah production By LEROY LEISHMAN Ulnl ii s ) oung inventcr ONLY 25c. A COPY Dce-Neutehccm Ptg. Co. 2o(2 Wash. Phone 11GG DEPOT DRUG CO. when in need of DRUGS wo are at your service .1. Iv Cave ' 10$ 2')lh 31. 5af? . OUT TO THE GAME AND GIVE ' EM HELL |