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Show FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 1923 THE WEBER HERALD PAGE THREE JUST TOM Service City Cleaners & Dyers PHONE 1011 Upstairs 2374 Washington Ave., Ogden, Utah Hot Tamales Hot Chili Chicken Sandwiches Chop Suey HUDSON NOODLE PARLORS 2437 Hudson Ave. Tel. 941 Appearance is an Asset .. National Barber Shop Ask Our Customers Under Utah National Bank Hair Cut 35c Children 25c Shave 25c Williams Music Co. 2215 Washington Avenue Ogden, Utah Phone 503 EVERYTHING IN MUSIC AND MUSICAL MERCHANDISE SWEET SIXTEW CHOCOLATES BREAD and MILK You Taste the Milk in WISHART'S BETTER BREAD Insist on Better Bread WISH ART BAKERY 2258 Grant Ave. SIGNS OF ALL KINDS THOS. YOUNG 2450 Wash. Av. PHONE 779 You are in school for an education -GET IT We are selling jcwelery that makes people happy BUY IT J. S. LEWIS & CO. Jewelers Quality ASK FOR One afternoon Lottie grew very lonesome and decided to call up Jeff. Jeff answered the telephone. Lottie : "What are you doing, Jeff?" Jeff: "Washing." Lottie: "Washing what ?" Jeff: "B. V. D's." Central, breaking in : "I'm ringing them now." Adoring soph girl : "Is.n't Lawrence one grand fellow?" Nan : "He surely is." Adoring soph girl: "Too bad he got hurt on the hike." Nan : "Oh, you mean Lawrence Budge. I thought you meant why, yes, Lawrence is a fine fellow." Nan What is the difference between a Salisbury and a Hamburger?Myra One has onions in and the other hasn't. Nan Is that all? The hamburger is minus the onions. Myra Oh, no. The Salisbury has no onions in it. Nan But when you buy hamburger down town it hasn't any onions in it. Myra But before they give it to you they put onions in it. Nan Then a hamburger is a Salisbury if they forgot to put onions in it. Chase Taylor Miss Noble did you say that the conclusion came after the climax. "What has altitude to do with the industry of a people," asked Mr. Wilkinson in Sociology. Heber "They are lazier, because it is harder for those living so high up to breath." FAME COMES TO WEBER STUDENT "For First Time in History Heber is Shipping Ice" Headline in Deseret News. Vernal Hobson, in discussion on dreams : "I heard of a man once who dreampt he was dead, and died before he woke up." How funny these would look: Olin Ririe, without his history lesson. Mr. Poulter, with Mr. Blay-lock's bald "pate". Edwin Nelson, with an application of "Sta-Comb. Athol, standing in the hall without Melba. Claude Helm, with a girl. Sie Bowman, without one. Bill Cheney with his hair combed. The other day in the Study Hall, Sicilian Bowman and Ber-na sandstrom, were discussing the chicken business. It is not known whether either intend to make that their life's occupation or not. However that may be, Sicilian was telling Berna one of the best foods for chickens was meat scraps. Berna very intelligently replied, "No, it isn't cither, because chickens have no teeth." VERY NATURAL W eber girls go along the street with their coats unfastened and say they're almost freezing to death. Chase Taylor has reduced his chattering to fifty words per period. A typist was a minus quantity in the editorial room. An S. O. S. call was sent out for any stray person who knew the key board. Opening the door to room 16, while on the search for the chance typist the editor saw Chic Crawshaw waving his arms, much as if he were in a fit, and shouting, "May I offer you a eucalyptus jujube?" and "Good works, Lady Chalmers, are more than good dinners." What was the matter with our most august and charming Eugene? Do not worry, he was not crazy, he was just practicing his part in the school play. Miss Oberhansley : "When I get to reading your themes- and written work I can almost hear your voices and see your faces." Chase Taylor : "Gee ! does Lindsay Hobson's writing look that bad?" Bashful Slim Hales, on the way back from Davis, pulled down the blinds on the train to keep inquisitive people along the way from admiring (?) him. CLASSIFIED Wanted : Large, husky man to act as bodyguard for protection asrainst the advances of iiarv ami i tieda. iw List nave references. Apply in person to Ken Anderson. Larry : "I think I'll trade my Ford in on a big car." Blanche : "Oh, I'd rather you wouldn't." Larry: "Well, how's that?" Blanche : "Oh, then you wouln't have to hold me from bouncing up and down." Dorothy C o r t e z : "Hensley, you are so bashful that when ever a girl's name is mentioned the back of your neck turns as red as a beet." Hensley: "Well, that shows what good control I have over my face." Sieman "I have half a notion"By-stander "I wonder if he ever has a whole notion?" TROUSER WIT "Oh, what am I going to do?" some poor unfortunate boy might have said yesterday. Any way, during the sixth period sewing class, that well known personage, Chic Crawshaw, walked into the sewing room with a pair of trousers on his arm. Of course he blushed a little, as he walked quickly up to the teacher, put the trousers on the sewing table, and said, "One of the boys was unfortunate enough to tear these, and would like you or one of the girls to mend them for him." Then he heaved a sigh and walked out. Of course the girls laughed a little at this unusual happening. The teacher mended the trousers and informed the girls that she felt it would be wise to give them a lesson introuser-mend-i n g. Chic was so embarrased at the girls' unruly maneuvers when he entered that he felt he could not return for the trousers, so he sent one of Weber's most popular voting ladies in to get that most needed garment. Norma Bingham. Read those ads. Through all the years of Weber High School's history many different persons have tried to attain the n-th degree of egotism. At last we have found the person to whom this position rightfully belongs. He is a human angel wandering around on this earthly place devoid of occupation except making himself conspicuous with the fair sex. The name of this modern Solomon is Thomas Hickman, who is otherwise known as "Hick." The only reason that his picture doesn't adorn the covers of all the leading magazines is that due to his many social engagements this harrassed person does not have time to pose for them. The only reason that he doesn't cause a riot at the Altantic City beauty contest is that he doesn't want to show up the other American beauties. Rudolph Valentino's popularity is waning solely because Tom has taken his place among his fellow men as the "Perfect Lover," and this is bad for Rudy's publicity. We hate to see all the other fellows having to form A. B. C. associations because of Mr. Hickman's "way with the ladies," but we see no way out of the dilemma. By The Unassociated Press. TO A MONGREL I've seen dogs that sure were clever ; I've seen collies and Bernards; I've seen poodles, bulls and shepherds ; But there's none will equal Pard. Pard's a mongrel, small and fuzzy, With a tail that isn't there ; Got a face like William Bryan, And a shaggy coat of hair. You can talk about your comrades,Who'll stand by you to the end ; I'll bet Pard's a better sticker, Than the truest of your friends. Frank Chamberlain. WEBER'S EDUCATED MICE A horde of mice have infested our fair Weber. They run everywhere from the basement to the attic, playinghide-and-go-seek around the radiators, and fox-and-geese up and down the stairs. During classes they peek through their well-worn holes and drink in the teachers' knowledge. Sometimes the mice professors bring their classes into our rooms to hear the more advanced ideas of our professors. The pupils, just like humans, frisk about the class room and cause a general commotion, but as this practice has been going on for years we take it as a general conclusion. Weber possesses some very educated mice. Nevertheless, mice are a nuisance and they should be exterminated. There are several ways by which we could easily rid ourselves of these mice, first by not leaving crumbs and lunch papers about the floors, second by using poison, third by setting traps. By careful cooperation of the students and faculty in the above measures Weber would soon be miceless. Blanche Nelson. COMMITTEE MEETS PRESIDENT TRACY Wednesday, a committee from the County Board of Education met with Pres. Tracy relative to placing the proposed Weber County high school in this building for the next two vears. SUPPORT THE ADVERTISERS TWO -THIRDS of the girls in the Elks' Show had their hair Marcelled and put up at Wright's Beauty Parlor BOYS Much has been said about womens' faults, and perhaps too little mentioned of the faults or attitude of the present day young men. The flapper has been the topic of the day for most men and old ladies, but not for one moment have they stopped to consider the flapper type of boys, and worse still the rudeness they exhibit. To justify my statements let a girl, a small girl however, walk through the lower hall of Weber. If none of her boy friends happen to be in the hall at that time she gets safely through. But on the other hand if a number of such humans are present she will be lucky if she gets ten feet without having the wind actually knocked out of her, by a boy who merely wishes to say, "Good morning." But I even doubt if he would say that. Circumstances and experience permit me to say that upon turning around she would hear something like this, "Hello kid, how are yeah?" Upon going to the other side of the hall you would probably find two good sized boys exerting all their force in twisting a girl's wrist for the purpose of securing her ring, bracelet, etc. They succeed only in bruising and wrenching her wrist. The majority of fellows, especially those who have reached the senior year, seem to think that unless they exercise their physical superiority, hide all traces of culture and refinement, they are apt to fall in the class of feminine gladiators, who decorate their Rudolph Valentino trousers with red sashes and highly decorated buttons. A Senior Girl. SENTIMENTS OF SENTIMENTAL PEOPLE Lips that touch liquor shall never touch mine Claire Olsen. Give me the right to love you .,11 iU .Atlinl Tri'hf ail liniL. Au.. j- 1 1 1. 1 . I wish I knew Clyde Anderson.Kiss me again. Sieman Bowman.I'm going back to dear Virginia. Sylvan Warner. All men are fickle Anna Hoist. I'm always thinking of you, Margie. Tom Hickman. Your eyes are traitors. Ensign Terry. Babies will grow. Sterling Scoville. Hail to the woman. Frank Douglas. I'm lonesome. "Mary Ann." Nobody loves me Leona Wilkinson.Nobody seems to care. Byron Porter. Don't judge me by my legs. Van Tanner. Where o where has my little dog gone? Sterling Wheelwright.They say I'm cute. Heber Jacobs. Don't fuss me. Mabel Mc-gregor.Dear love are you true to me? Ken Anderson. When you have another's arms around you. Virginia Fisher. New saying of the college girls; 'Isn't that Simmons boy cute?" Real Hula Hula! Takes you from -Ogden to Hawaii for four bits. Save your small change. Preserve the memories of happy school days with PHOTOGRAPHS Made By FRED C. RABE 416 24th Street Watson-Flygare Hardware Co. THE Winchester STORE WORLD'S STANDARD HARDWARE 2414 Washington Avenue Telephone 90 OGDEN, UTAH THE MODERN MARKET j j Wholesale and Retail j ! MEATS AND GROCERIES ! Telephone 2200 OGDEN STEAM LAUNDRY CO. DRY CLEANERS AND DYERS 437 Twenty-fifth St. Ogden, Utah ''See Us First" Watson-Tanner Clothing Co. 372 TWENTY-FOURTH STREET 'illlllllllllllllllllllllllMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I ICE CREAM, LUNCHES, CANDY 1 "THE SWEET SHOP" i Twenty-fourth and Jefferson COMPLETE LINE OF SCHOOL SUPPLIES TilllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllMIIMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMIIIIIIIIIIln Silverware GEO. A. LOWE CO. Ogden's BIG Hardware Store Paints Everything in Hardware Morby's Distinctive Shoes Latest Styles in Oxfords for Young Men at Morby's 2461 Washington Ave. Phone 819 "Meet Me NORMAN SIMS 25th St. at Wash. Ave. The- Cf(oaErY People- For Sanitary The Economy Butter Shop 2450 Washington Avenue The Clock Says: Now The past is like a bursted bubble unless you have something to show for it in the way of money saved. The future is only an ugly dream, unless you have definite plans based on substantial saving. Today is the tomorrow you looked forward to yesterday. The only time you ever have is now. (let the now spirit and profit by making regular deposits in OGDEN STATE BANK OGDEN, UTAH 2432 Washington Avenue Sporting Goods Bareheaded" Butter Try is the only time you will ever possess |