OCR Text |
Show WASATCH COUNTY COURIER “October 26, 1999 _ Om mae ho Stole Halloween? _ 5 Normandie Mindheim, Contributing Columnist joins a group of suialedr freaters, The ~. But the young college student has lost his wayto a Halloween party and only. Gasca Gaconh! Oooooh! i ‘was a dark and stormy night and somewhere... ae | 3 Pennéylvania ° al group - of - wants to’ ask for directions: He is shot | point blank in the chest. He falls to the een climb onto an overpass each lugging a concrete block. An Amish horse stoop. The homeowner shuts the door, drops the magnum on the hall table and and carriage approach. As the carriage starts program; Her husband | vomits. The and the carriage overturns; and require a permit. “Can you go with us?” “I guess not. My folks didn’t have the $10 for each of us.” “Can you?” “Me horse bolts. ina anol town in Illinois, a matronly school teacher sits alone in a back room of her dark house, afraid to open. the door to the grandchildren of children she once taught, in second grade; | in sibiwtiog areas of cities earn coast to | in a medium sized town east of the Mississippi, the town fathers decided that trick-or-treaters are panhandlers ‘and rolling... and rolling... The mangled - Car comes to rest against a beautiful pine tree near the bottom of the ravine and catches fire. The driver is dead. The pine tree blazes like a Roman candle against the starry sky. The perpetrators are never identified; im towns and cities across America there ~ are no Grannies in the kitchen baking cookies. The streets are empty. There are no children going door to door, chiming “Trick or treat!” Everyone is at the local Mall. The children go trick or treating neither. My mom was too busy to go from store to store. Everyone gets the stand in line | to fill out the topes! same cheap trinket. A child sees a display Grannies across the land get out their — of boxes just inside the door. Each conspecial recipes and spend the day baking — tains a megazord that can morph into an. their yummiest cookies. Ring! Ring! alien space ship. “Please. Puh-leeese. See? coast, children sliced and stabbed their mouths biting into apples with pins and bits of razor blades embedded. Not to worry now, the x-ray. department of the local hospital is staying open. They will check your goody bag. It can be your last trick-or-treat atop in a large city a young Asian American Rk resumes watching his favorite television to pass under the bridge the blocks are — dropped. One rips through. the thin top of the carriage. Inside a young mother screams as the blood from the shattered brain of her young infant soaks her dress. driver, startled, loses control of the car -and drives over the precipice... rolling... “Trick or treat!” “Here, have a> nice home baked cookie.” “Have you ‘sot a It’s only $39.95. I saw it on ee Across America. . thieves stole - Halloween. Where did they come from? Just who are they? Do they look like us? _ wrapper. It might be poisoned”; Are they our children? Our neighbors? on a back road outside a small western Are they coming? Are they here now? town a pick-up truck passes an automoAre we already hostages? When did it~ bile. A shadowy figure stands up in the happen? Who's fault is it? It has to be _ back of the pick-up and tosses a bucket poles fault! wu candy bar? I’m not allowed to take anything that doesn’t come in mpics—Part i LL Who Needs the ol a factory ee ne ioned Halloween for years to come! of gravel onto’ the windshield of the door opens. The trick-or-treaters. hold: - passing car. The driver gets only a brief out their open:bags. Candyis dropped in ~ glimpse of what is about to transpire. The truck speeds off into the night. The and they scurry on to the next house. Ce i An original. essay by Normandie Mindheim, : age 61 and a certified ghoul. “May all of us in the Heber Valley enjoy a safe old-fash- 5 ne Keith Baker, Contributing Columnist TRE COSI The opinions expressed | our contributing columnists do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Wasatch County Courier. © SLOC planners, the Wasatch Co. Olympic Planner, and State. Sen. Beverly Evans offer assurances that traf- GUUS fic for the Olympics at Solider Hollow . won't be any worse than Swiss Days. Apparently, none of these big shots-or their toadies-have ever been to Swiss Days. I have, and: I don’t like it. | lenath of Heber’s Main St., and makes the turn toward Provo by the Hub Cafe. Take a guess at how long the turn line is going to be at the light where US 40 and 189 split. To get the spectators from the parking lots in Heber to Soldier Hollow, is going to send us a fleet of 200 big city buses. Now you folks living in rural Utah haven’t had much experience with big. city buses, so let me tell you about them. We eel to live in Woalanoton. DC, ae are 40-60 feet long and about as one of the most. traffic congested cities | wide as two cars set side by side. They ‘on the continent, and I'd rather drive in ‘Washington, DC, than in Midway during Swiss Days, where it takes anywhere from 10 minutes to forever to make a left turn: J There are no reports on record of anybody ever managing to drive all the way through Midway during Swiss Days. Parking is impossible in Midway during: Swiss Days. Traffic moves so slow during Swiss Days that speedometers don’t even have imperceptible acceleration, and rarely can move faster than 15 mph when loaded. They are very, very heavy and their weight crushes road surfaces. Think of 200 Horiseet eee trucks: on the road all at once driving back and forth all day long between Soldier Hollow, and you'll the idea of what SLOC is way. SLOC wants to bring us for 17 days in the middle of winter. No thanks! US 189 to Soldier Hollow is to go down forward motion.. That’s what SLOC wants spectators to automobile. Since SLOC almost all the rooms in Heber the jocks, 22,000 spectatorsa days will be coming, by car, US 189 to 2400 S. to UT 113. There's arrive by another problem. 2400 S. is too narrow. grabbed > for two fat, big city busses to pass each Valley for other, so just watch-Mitt’s gonna make day for 17 2400 S. one way in one direction and from Salt 3000'S. one way in the other direction. Lake and Park City, down US 40, right — Then the big, heavy old buses are going SRS: onto Heber’s Main St. SLOC now plans to grind both those roads - What’s that? Somebody grumbling in’ the back? You say you can’t find a job at a living wage in Wasatch Co., so you have to drive to Provo everyday to — work? Come on now, don’t bother Mitt — with your whining about adding an extra 2-3 hours to your commute. Mitt says we all have to make some sacrifices for the Olympics. Your sacrifice is get- ting to sit on your butt in your freezing car for a couple hours a day trying to get through: Mitt’s pine in the middle of winter. We all have to make sacrifices for the Olympics. I mean, look at Orrin Hatch. Heber and That sanctimonious, self-righteous hypbegin to get --ocrite didn’t hesitate for a minute to sell sending our. out his principles when a Green Card © _was needed to turn the parasitic whelp ‘of some IOC big shot into a resident most direct alien to help. buy Dad’s IOC vote. bus yard on Looking at the map, the route. from Mitt’s proposed register and trying to get into the parking lot, and with Mitt’s bus flotilla dawdling up— and down US 189 from the parking lot to wherever, expect two weeks of permanent gridlock on the way to Provo. | into dust. Don’t be suckered’ in by the Mitt-Sen. Evans’ scam that. we should “welcome” the Games to. Wasatch Co. in order to show the world how nice we are. Earl. Holding, the second richest man in Utah, and a member of the SLOC Board, got $18,000,000 from the SLOC to help him turn Snowbasin into a des- tination ski resort where he aims to turn to put the main Olympics parking lot on Who's going to pay for the repairs? US 189, making sure that the Olympic tidy profit after 2002. Sen. Hatch > a 7 R R IMS ae RS barckiPetvicge Bas pel e ndictreps memati” traffic will be as bad as possible, since all_ What with all those spectator’s cars try-" _ those cars will have to drive the entire _ _ingto turn from US 40 onto US 189 _ BAKER continued on page 28 7 |