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Show Hold the wad prerequisite to kneeling at the feet of the holy of holies - the cash Opinions writer register - then who would have We live in a society people. the audacity to criticize? I'll tell And lately, contrary to popular you who: gay liberals seeking to consent, we have been doing just erode our rights, secularize ourthat, very well. culture, and ensnare our children in a web of vicious lies. We must However, only the true mavbe vigilant. This aggression will ericks of society possess the clarnot stand. ity of vision to see in such a way. Take the overall mood of the genWith California's passing of eral public for example. With the Proposition 8 and the cultureAnti-Christ Elect, Barack Obama, wide, unapologetic embracing of poised and ready to seize the radically unregulated market capreigns of executive power in his italism, it is clear that momentum gnarled talons, a government in is now on the side of right. We've shambles from decades of funding got to keep this going, people. their glut of degenerate social proStrike while the iron is hot. So, grams, and the wings of our lofty even though the next political economy fixed in a downward season won't get underway for spiral, gloomy dispositions are quite some time, I will be spendunderstandable - but only on the ing the downtime working to start faces of the misinformed. grass-roots organizations to sponsor three new ballot initiatives People, your old pal LaVyrlle - Propositions 9, 10 and 11 — to "Maverick Eagle" Christiantsen be introduced on the front lines of was blessed with vision and a rethe war, California. ally sweet spirit. And I live by the belief that states that to whom Proposition 9 shall be an much is given, much is expected. It amendment to California's state took a maverick like John McCain constitution that will apply the tax to teach us that those who look exempt status granted to religious with eyes that see will notice that organizations to certain pseudowhat sounds like a McDonald's religious organization that meet advertising slogan can actually be the definition of "missionaries of interpreted as a spot-on critique capitalism," which shall be clearof the rhetoric employed by the ly articulated in the language of goonery of sinister media elites. the bill. The Mac is back indeed, sir. Proposition 10 shall introduce It took a maverick like Tom a bill which will define the first Cruise to demonstrate the fact that three holidays of the calendar the proper role of decent Ameriyear, Civil Rights Day, PresiJordy Kirkman/UVU Review cans is to fill their pockets with dent's Day and Valentine's Day, Consumers kneel to the modern day golden calf, which has been melted down for as much of God's bounty as posas taking place between a man monetary exchange. sible, and then to offer up as much and a woman or as being observof that bounty as they can to the able by unwed straight people, spired to draft the First Amendment and Mart, God's most successful missionary of enrichment of faith-based corporations. whichever term best applies ad hoc. include it in the Constitution. Currently it capitalism to the third world, did something The news media would have us believe wrong — that the public should lament the serves as the best weapon against homeProposition 11 will put forward a bill that the walls are closing in around those sacrifice. What uproariously foul dishon- grown varieties of evil and tyranny. The first calling for the formation of a task force of who fight the good fight, that we should just esty! clause (the part about freedom of religion) no less than 10 and no more than 12 typogpack it in and concede. It is now up to the We don't speak about it much. But we all protects us from the plots of our adversaries, raphers and graphic designers who shall be maverick, LaVyrlle Christiantsen, to dispel know in our hearts that America's copious while the second (the part about free speech dutifully charged with the honor of officially a few myths of his own, to share some of his wealth is empirical evidence of God's ap- and a free press) compels our enemies, the redesigning the number 11 such that it no vision and to spread the message that there proval of a chosen society. And those who liberal media, to reveal them. longer resembles two penises standing sideis much more light in the now of our current ponder fervently are all impressed with a The point I've been dancing around all by-side. A deadline shall be placed on the tunnel than they would have us believe. subtle inner prompting that confirms the this time is that consumerism is at the core deliberation proceedings in order that the reRecent news reports recounting the tram- fact that He pines for our every comfort and of our Constitutionally-protected belief formed characters could be implemented on pling death of a Long-Island, Wal-Mart em- contentment. And in our chosen society, that system. Wal-Mart is the temporal counter- the same day Proposition 8 takes effect. ployee trespass from the legitimate objectiv- contentment comes from consumer goods at part to temples and therefore sacred ground Doing right ain't got no end people. ity of reporting just the facts onto the profane low, low prices. protected by the highest law of the land. If We're taking the fight to the enemy. We ground of editorialized propaganda. These Thank goodness our founders were in- blood sacrifices at the gates of the temple are shall prevail. reports would have you believe that Wai- Heart healthy and wholesome Bicycle commuting RUSSLEE Guest writer Let's talk about education. This education thing keeps us strong, aware, smart, and sharp to the point. Our education system and the subjects taught within have been critically analyzed, tested, reformed, reworked, so that all kinks are straightened out. It now functions so efficiently it's turning out the deepest of thinkers — an elite class of humans ready to take on any intellectual challenge. But wait. Nobody can muster up the energy to set down their KFC, get their oversized butt off the couch and turn off their favorite reality show. Why is food stuck on the back burner when it comes to education? We may learn about the basic food groups and how much of each we should be partaking of every day, but anybody that has gone to a public school recently has seen what kind of options the kids have to choose from. Can you spell the word "processed" and then use it in a sentence? That's the kind of food our future is being built on. Canned, frozen, dried, molested with refined sug-ars, bleached, enriched, sucked dry of all nutrients, white flour, high in sodium, hormone- 1'in surprised that in a place of higher education like UVU I see such uneducated choices in foods being served in the food court. Worse yet is the mislabeling of foods in an effort to make people think they're eating something healthy when they are not. injected, chemically drenched, dyed, hydrogenated. Yum yum food. This is education: Now grab a doughnut while we discuss photosynthesis, something most people will never use in their lives. Food, on the other hand, and the consumption thereof, will be a part of everybody's daily routine. How well are we educated on how food affects our bodies, thinking, sleep, energy levels, and attitude? America is the mpst obese nation in the world. I'd say we are failing this course. You think that age comes with knowledge. But it more regularly brings habit and addiction in tow. By the time we've reached college we've become used to cavities, headaches, bad knees and backs from carrying the spare tire around our gut, sleepless nights from our GI tract trying to process all the crap in it, and trying to maintain a sugar high to counter all the negative effects caused by eating sugar. I'm surprised that in a place of higher education like UVU I see such uneducated choices in foods being served in the food court. Worse yet is the mislabeling of foods in an effort to make people think they're eating something healthy when they are not. "Heart Healthy and Wholesome": (one of the labels found in the upstairs cafeteria at UVU.) Funny thing is, only about 5 percent of what they serve is actually good for your heart, and it's so saturated in butter and salt that it is no longer healthy. Three cheese pasta made with bleached white flour. Give me a break. What a scam. This sign, "Heart Healthy and Wholesome," is terribly misleading. It's wrong to make those less knowledgeable about healthful food believe that what they are eating is healthy. Either change the sign or change the food. Going green should improve the environment's and your own health ANDY EARL Guest writer Gas prices, traffic, obesity, and parking problems are some of the things that Luke Stevenson doesn't have to deal with. Why? Because he commutes by bicycle. Other colleges and universities have made pushes to green up their campuses by getting their students on bikes. Stevenson is putting together a push to get this mentality on our campus through a research project named the "Bicycle Commuter Project," which will document the financial and physical benefits of bicycle commuting. Stevenson said. "The goal of the project is to raise public awareness that alternative methods of transportation are not only functional, but are great solutions We're looking for you to join our staff Writers, photographers, designers always wanted. C o m e visit U V U R e v i e w in SC 2 2 0 to s e e t h e s m i l e s o n t h e s e t a c e s . to many problems here at UVU and within our local community." The information obtained through the study will help show the need for expanded support of bicycle commuting. Stevenson is seeking grants to make this study possible and hopes to have it underway • next spring. A college in Atlanta went so far as to equip buildings with showers, also adding more bike racks and a free campus shuttle. Cycling safety and maintenance classes along with discounts on bicycles are available as well. A call for more bicycle commuting here is necessary. A college in frigid Wisconsin made a push for more students on bikes. If they can do it, we can do it. Get a bike, get healthy, and go green. Bike. W |