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Show Monday Novemebr 17r 2008 CwLefat cu&tt effjjkrt&tiet'... Dave Iba's top FIVE list of how to make money and be successful during the credit crunch. Here is one of the biggest fallacies of success. It's called goals. Let me ask you something. Have you set goals for yourself? Probably, lets squash those goals. You see goals are for people who are afraid to drift. Here, let me prove it to you. Let's set a goal right now. Take a couple of objects sitting near you. Like two shot glasses or a couple of ashtrays. Set one right in front of you. Now set the other one ajxxit four feet away. Now walk with your fingers (yellow pages style) from one object to the other. Look at all the room there is for failure. I've seen failure and I don't like it. So how do we minimize the chances of-failure? By moving the objects an inch away from the other ... we shorten the goal! Now walk it again. Not much there to thwart us is there? Shorten your goals... shorten your grief. -TO It* Now, with the holidays coming up, here is a way to make some extra cash. Right around December 15th, I suddenly announce to my friends and family that I have, "cancer." It cost me $40 to have my head shaved. Now A. You aren't expected to buy anyone anything, and you will probably find that you get double the gifts you normally would. And then right around January 5th I suddenly go into..."remission." Pays handsomely. J.» I recently rented the movie Indecent Proposal. Maybe you'll remember. It's where one guy pays $1 million to sleep with another guy's wife. That got me to thinking. Neither you nor I could get $1 million for someone to even make-out with our wife, husband, or girlfriend or boyfriend. But we could get $20, 50,000 times. How many people overlook the obvious? Well I hope I've helped you to succeed in ways you never though possible. Letter to the editor requirements uvu.review.opinions@gmail.com • Letters must be turned in on Wednesday by noon in order to be printed in the next edition. • We make no guarantee that letters will be printed. • Letters 300 words or less have a greater chance of being published - anything longer will be edited for content. • Please provide an electronic copy regardless of whether or not you wish to submit a hard copy. • All letters become the property of UVU Review as soon as they are submitted. GTRu-s: HER -THROUGH BE Re>»ui_r REFRAIN FROM 6TTZNG si^'^vewwksspwcre;^*^^*^^ Jordy Kirkman/ UVU Review Opinions writer I always say that to be a success, you must first look like a success. Let's start by covering the most vital component to success... Image. Image is everything. Question: What do I mean by this statement? Answer: Associate with people who make you look successful. What I'm suggesting is to surround yourself with losers. Hang out with losers and you'll always look like a winner. Who would you rather compete with a crowd of good-looking well-groomed, well-spoken achiever's? Or people who have nothing on the ball. For an example, look at a ring setting. When a jeweler has a little, flawed diamond to sell, does he display it with the crown jewels? No. He puts it in a setting with a lot of worthless stones around it to make it look better. That's how you do it. Hang out with the rhinestones and you'll be that shining gem in the middle. I have a wide network of low lives I rub shoulders with frequently. «J« Seize the opportunity. Opportunity is everywhere if you just know where to look. So get out your pencils and listen up. If you go to any public bulletin board at the grocery, the Laundromat, the library or wherever, you'll see tons of notices that say "KITTENS FREE TO A GOOD HOME." So I go around a collect all the free kittens I can. And I sell them for 10 bucks apiece. Last month, I got 140 kittens. But you have got to get the whole litter. It's not worth your time or gas to cruise around getting one here one there. I've got a little rap down, I tell the owners I'm with an organization that provides pets to the elderly in retirement homes. If you could see how their faces light up. Now, your target market for kittens is chicks and kids. So I set up in front of a mall, maybe a Chuck E. Cheese, and I put them in a big box. You want them to be able to move around; because the more they frolic, the cuter they look, the faster they sell. And I mix them up. I'll put in a Gray, Siamese maybe a Calico but no more than 4 in a box or people can't make up their minds. You can always go back to the car for more. So, I price them at 10 dollars and say, "I have to sell them today or they go to the animal research lab. On a good day I can move 35 to 40 kittens. And I'm betting you can do even better. XMKKESS Like many of the female Twilight readers, I too have Obsessive Cullen Disorder. The fictional character Edward Cullen has developed as a vision of perfection in the minds of many Twilight readers. He is the epitome of what a man should be. I encourage guys everywhere to read Twilight and take notes. Much can be learned from the dream-like vampire on how to capture a woman's heart and make her fall crazily in love. Stephanie Meyer has done a marvelous job at creating every woman's fantasy man. I find it often difficult to separate this fictional character from reality. Meyer describes Edward as having every quality a woman could ever want or need. How could you not fall in love with a perfect man? Like all vampires in the Twilight series, Edward possesses superhuman beauty, strength, speed, endurance and agility. His scent and voice are enormously seductive. He is described as being charming, polite, deter- mined and very stubborn. He is very protective over Bella and always puts her safety first. He is mature, wise and uses very romantic speech. He is musical, rich and quite the family man. Like I said, everything a woman could ever want or need. This picture-perfect vampire is coming to life this week on the big screen. Will Robert Pattinson, the actor playing Edward Cullen, live up to the high expectations that we Cullen-crazed fanatics have set for him? T|ie anticipation is killing me. BY fORDV KIRKMAN f Have you seen the price of gas lately? It changes almost every day. Now that the crisis is over, everybody's already forgotten the price of gas was ever high. 1 got a deal on this Christmasspirit powered hovercraft when the price of gas was high but now I think I may have made a hasty decision... Yeah I filled up yesterday for half the price it was a month ago. Letters to the editor In response to "Gay passing for straight" I am also gay, but I believe there are benefits to having same-sex marriage. I realize it is undeniably important to have personal strength in an unequal system and to emphasize specific legal rights, but the influences of prejudice and discrimination reach past the details of laws. These laws dehumanize gays and trans-gens by designating us as essentially different, and we reinforce those ideas by conceding to any law that labels us as "others" or keeps our issues separate. Acceptance is key because we can only gain our rights through the votes of Supreme Court Justices or our peers. We have difficult lives in large part because most of society doesn't accept us, and this social majority creates llicse discriminatory1 laws. But aside from material restrictions, these laws constantly suggest that we are sub-human —incapable of love, religion, or a respectable code of ethics. Although the range of gay and trans-gen beliefs are vast and this diversity deserves respect, when we assume stereotypical roles, we often hurt ourselves and those around us and allow this charade of prejudice to continue. Generalizations are then used to sway voters, and we are kept from our rights. I believe that in places like California, communities are recognizing us as people. But the distinction between civil unions and marriages will still convey our inequality and contribute to the damaged state of our communities. For every gay or trans-gen strong enough to handle the discrimination, there is another whom it ruins. After handling my own pain, and seeing the damage inflicted on the people of our community because of our misunderstood circumstances, I can't imagine any solution other than the complete removal of these damaging rulings of law and society. With so much at stake, I believe any gay or trans-gen who doesn't personally need "marriage" should still fight for it for the benefit of others. Anthony Christensen Got art? It seems to me that there are many areas of campus that are very boring. Then other parts of campus, like the new library and the Computer Science Building, have all sorts of cool things to look at. It bothers me that most of the hallways arc either quite bare or have lots of advertisements, so I propose we set up more areas around campus that would allow students and local artist to showcase their works. This wouldn't be expensive: We would only need to make display areas for the art so that it could be displayed. Please understand: 1 am not speaking against those posters and advertisements for the upcoming sports games and lectures. These activities need to be voiced to the student body. However, these advertisements are the most prominent things I see on campus. Going to other campuses in any state you will find random art everywhere, but at our university we find ourselves playing catch up. There is hope with the new art displays and galleries in the library, but I think as a university we can do better to create spaces for art. We have many students who, I'm afraid, walk our halls without the opportunity to see any message except for one from PlusMan. If art areas were made, we could have PlusMan right next to a piece of art. Ben Gerald In response to Proposition 8 not passing in California The foot, though not the hand, is stil! part of the body. Gay, straight; black, brown, white; tall, short; fat, skinny; male, female; aren't we all human beings? Since we're all human, we should all have the same rights and privileges. The Bible reads, "[God] maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth' rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye?" According to the Bible, God does not segregate — even murderers, child molesters, spouse abusers and such all receive sunshine and rain. Someone that's afraid to let another variation of love in for any type of fear does not know of the magic of love. The more you share, the more you receive. Let me repeat the biblical phrase -- if we love everyone, what is our reward? We will be loved back, which is what everyone should want. People will do anything it takes to get some form of love and attention. What is so wrong about love, whether between a heterosexual couple or a homosexual couple? It is still love. The Bible says many things, but the most important is probably, "Love thy neighbor as thyself." I find it bizarre that a simple and good statement can become twisted and corrupted for another's gain. It doesn't say, "Love thy neighbor as thyself -- as long as he is not gay, black or female." I propose to do unto your neighbor, as you would want him/her to do unto you, And this would mean supporting "no" on Proposition 8. which recently passed in California. The Mormons have forgotten about the separa- tion of church and state. America was founded by Puritans wanting freedom of religion. They wanted to believe without chastisement of their beliefs. Don't we all want that? Just because your favorite ice cream is strawberry should I feel that way too? I should be able to like chocolate, if that's what I really like. The same goes for religious or sexual preference. Just because a person feels this way or that, doesn't make one or the other right. It means we should have the freedom to choose what we like. As for the Mormons against this, I guarantee you've never had a loved one or best friend that was gay. Remember we are all people, and as James 4:12 reads in the Bible, "Who art thou that judgest another?" Jena van Frankenhuijsen |