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Show A4 MONDAY. JULY 2 - 2 0 0 7 • • lnions Darth Cheney The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly claims he is not a member of The Good the Executive Branch, yet invokes Executive Privilege Information Security Oversight Office arid declare its Opinions tditor employees "Enemy Combatants" and have them immediEfforts made by the Infor- ately shipped to Guantanamo mation Security Oversight Bay to avoid any further anOffice, which is a branch of noyances. He does after all, the National Archives that have countries to plunder establishes government-wide and a Constitution to shred. procedures for safeguard- And those aren't easy tasks ing classified national secu- to accomplish, that old parchrity information, have been ment paper gets jammed in thwarted over the last year modern shredders so the job due to Vice President Dick has to be done manually. Cheney's claims that his ofThe Information Secufice "is not an entity within rity Oversight Office was the executive branch." The created by Executive Order dark lord of the Republican 13292 which was signed by Party's Neo-Sith faction re- the President on March, 25 taliated to the efforts of the 2003 and contrary to any oversight committee last claims of immunity or nonweek by proposing to have inclusion made by Darth the Committee abolished. Cheney's office, Section 1.3 Perhaps what Cheney of the Executive Order clearmeans by this assertion is ly refers to the Vice President that he sees his office as part as being subject to the rules of a shadow fourth branch laid out by the order. In fact of government, perhaps the Sec. 1.3 specifically identi"Imperial" branch or the fies both the President and "Invisible" branch or bet- the Vice President as only ter yet the "Vice" branch of two parties with the authorwhich he is the president. ity to classify documents. In any event, his logiSo, this leaves the VP cal next move would be to with two choices, either he is bestow the title of "Terror- a part of the executive branch ist Organization" upon the with the authority to classify JaredMagill documents and therefore subject to the rules outlined in Executive Order 13292 or he is not and therefore has neither the authority to classify documents or event be privy to classified information. Furthermore, if Darth Cheney is not a member of the executive branch then wouldn't he also lack the authority to claim executive privilege to avoid those pesky Justice Department subpoenas in an attempt to avoid disclosing the "classified" information regarding No-Warrant eavesdropping on U.S. citizens. Cheney's claims regarding which branch of government his office falls under are based on the fact that the Vice President formally presides over the senate to cast tie breaking votes. However, the Whitehouse website does have the Vice President's office listed under the executive branch. Whichever branch of government Cheney falls under, there are plenty of people who are hoping that his next station in life falls under the authority of the Department of Corrections. Former College Times Editor-in-Chief Jessica Ellsworth married Todd Peterson on Friday, June 29. Congrats Jess! ; ." * :i The Bad \ > * • Y' ce PfGS- Dick Cheney refuses to comply • >$ *r' : with and proposes the abolition of the National Archives unit that monitors classified documents in the executive branch. The Ugly Neo-Nazi inmate Curtis Allgiers murdered Corrections Officer Stephen Anderson in an attempt to escape on Monday, June 25. Staff Infection What do you do when you run into someone from your past that you don't want to talk to? I acknowledge them but try to keep the conversation as short as possible because I don't care what they are up to and what 1 am up to is none of their business. - Jared Magill I fake amnesia. - Brandon Sdielin v <"'. ' ^ 3 If ifs a guy I remain cordial but pretend like I have to leave. If ifs a girl I pretend like ; I am talking on my cell phone.- Eleanor Takahashi * , ^ CJ, "4 I think I just fake i t I'm a f a k e r . - M a t t Williams I pretend I'm invisible. - Jason Pyles • Start fumbling with my iPod. - Jason Adkins Want Your Work Published? The ColleoeTlinesWantsTo See Your: • Drawings • Cartoons •Poems m vrtifjr*cUbnJ > • Stories ^k* and • Photos •EtCetra DroiiOHYourArtlnSC220orflmallltio anthonro@inrsc.edu •••'•'•••:• v " ' \ \ ' : ''*",'& |