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Show PAGEA5 Kougar Korner A weekly skewering of our sister-college to the south General Conference, women ning female BYU students get have to find ways to enter- into? The Daily Universe reJohn Ditzler ports, and I kid you not... Hogi tain themselves." Opinion Yogi. Reportedly it's a "hot Editor spot." The article continues: I didn't know that when grown women don't have " 'Last year I worked the night In a news men around for half an evening story entitled, "Women play it's a quandary. I thought the of Priesthood session and lots while men are away" (3/31 /05), recent ongoing Terry Schiavo of moms and daughters came BYU's newspaper The Daily case was a quandary. But I see in,' said Samantha Rollins, a now that that was more of a ku- Hogi-Yogi employee." Universe reported: nundrum. I wonder what BYU I for one have my doubts "The first Saturday night in women consider a full-blown about Ms. Rollins story. With April, ... all the men and boys crises'? eing 19 and single. BYU student Kasia Janusze- no men there to open the doors are gone. What's a girl to do? wski said, "We make it a point for them how did all these This is the quandary faced by LDS women across the world. to go out and do exciting stuff women gain access into the While their husbands, fathers, while the guys are" away. Just Hogi-Yogi? If it is true, I'm brothers and boyfriends at- what kind of crazy, exciting surprised BYU's female stutend the Priesthood session of stuff do these free-for-an-eve- dents couldn't come up with anything more stereotypical for co-dependent women than drowning their suddenly disorienting lonliness in frozen yogurt. They probably realize crying themselves to sleep, would be pathetic. In disbelief over the lack of initiative female BYU students displayed I went out to follow up on the Daily Universe's article and interviewed one BYU women who said, "When the men are away, I update my resume, work on my novel, or go rock climbing." Nah, I'm just kidding, I made up that quote. The Hogi-yogi quote was pretty much the only example. Photo Illustration Vegor Pedersen/NetXNews Are the best things Where's the compassionate in life really free? conservatism? Robert William Nelsen Opinion Writer There is an old saying that goes a little like this: "The best things in life are free." Being a poor college student I set out to determine whether this was true or not. After one misdemeanor charge of shoplifting, one charge of grand theft auto, and a sexual harassment suit I don't believe the best things in life are free. I started this quest by asking a few people what their idea of the "best things" were. I got such a wide variety of answers I choose only three to write about. First, a nice bag of peanutbutter M&Ms; if you haven't had these you haven't lived. I recommend you go out and get some today, they are delicious, although I do recommend paying for them. I set out to get some peanutbutter M&Ms for free; to those of you who don't know this is called stealing. I waited for nearly an hour before the isle was clear. I looked left, I looked right, grabbed a bag and ran. Well, apparently, that looked a little suspicious and I was tackled, charged, and the precious gems were taken back to their rightful owner. Many people listed expensive cars among their list of the best things in life. I picked a Porsche. The only advice I have is do not go in to the dealership wearing all black and a ski mask and ask to test drive. The good officers of the peace were able to track down a brand new cherryred Porsche really easily when I was racing it up and down the streets of Orem, Utah. This may come as a shock to you, but brand-new, fancy cars are not free. Many people said that kissing is one of the best things. Yes, kissing is technically free, though I don't recommend walking up to a girl you have never met and planting one on her. Apparently that can be viewed as sexual harassment. After my third arrest I learned that the police would not accept research as an excuse for shoplifting, grand theft auto, and sexual harassment (that wasn't even factored in favorably for me when it came to setting my bail). In answer to the question, 'Are the best things in life really free?' the Flying Lizards hit it right on when they sang, "The best things in life are free, but you can give them to the birds and bees. I want the money, that's what I want." pockets of poverty actually get preg- food in a day than most third world nant for the sole purpose of increas- countries see in a year! ing their welfare check by a couple Little do the self-righteous milSteven Hall hundred dollars. lionaires who form the Republican Opinion Rather than citing sources, pre- talking points consider that our naWriter senting case studies, or presenting tional community is better served by a fact-based case in any way, these single mothers who are fed, clothed, The right-wing conservative snobs say, "Welfare and sheltered on our dime than by elitist cowboys just doesn't work; if I've got to work having them stick their child in day care all day while they go to earn like to say that they are the party for a living, then so do they!" Little do they consider that 11.2 minimum wage to not get by. of personal responsibility. This is Why are we better off? Because because they are the party of "no percent of all American households the more moms are government responsibility." For them, it seems, the founding fathers in the home, looking only intended the U.S. government ...Consider that our national comafter their own kids, to serve the American people by the fewer criminals doing the manly things of govern- munity is better served by single we have to deal with ment, like fighting wars and locking as a community. Sure, up criminals. Somehow for them, mothers who are fed, clothed and allowing single mothit was the housing of the poor and sheltered on our [taxpayer] dime ers to return home is feeding of the hungry that made the not the silver bullet than by having them stick their child U.S.S.R. the Evil Empire. For them, any time the rich are in day care all day... Why are we worlds better than the asked to pay taxes that make it, (in ridiculous Welfare even small increments) into the lives better off? Because the more moms Reform Act of 1996 of the poor, it is a "liberal giveaway in the home, looking after their own that Newt Gingrich program." I have even heard the and his unlikely coself-serving rhetoriticians say that kids, the fewer criminals we have to conspirator Bill Clingovernment programs like welfare deal with as a society. ton enacted. and social security create an irreIn this time of unsponsible and degraded population. precedented wealth As is so often the case, those who struggle to obtain food. Little do disparity, our country needs more are behind the Republican War on they consider that the breadwinners re-distribution of wealth, not less. Culture, make their case out of thin for most of this 11.2 percent work Despite conservative promises to the air. They take hypothetical and full time jobs. contrary, the rising tide of American make them into hard facts. Little do they consider that a wealth is lifting fewer and fewer Take the mythical "welfare-moms" chunk of them - 3.2 percent - actu- ships the more fully the Republican argument. Many Republicans accept ally experience hunger periodically agenda becomes national policy. the fanciful assertion that women in throughout the year. This in Ameriinner cities, trailer parks, and other ca, the land that throws away more Bookstore overkill Readers Forum... Pot shots at BYU immature Dear Editor, I am writing in response to the absolute waste of time which is titled "Kougar Korner." For some reason Ammon Van Orden finds it necessary to waste newspaper space "humbling the self-righteous" at our "sister college to the south." This weekly shot at BYU reeks of an inferiority complex. Why are we concerning ourselves so much with not being BYU, as opposed to simply being UVSC?! Certainly BYU has its quirks, and they are many, but I believe it is counter-productive and embarrassing to spend our time taking shots at another school, when we could be promoting our own. By very definition self-righteousness is "having too high an opinion of one's own merits, and being intolerant of other people's faults." Sounds to me like the pot is calling the kettle black. Clint Stallings, Sandy Dear Editor, Could the bookstore please put a few more stickers on my textbooks this year. I can still make out a few letters in the title and author's name. Anyone ever tried to buy a used novel for an English class at the bookstore? Heaven forbid I might actually want to be able to . read the backs of the books I've bought. I pay a lot of money for my textbooks each semester. I'd like to be able to put them on my living room bookshelves without having to break out the lacquer thinner and razor blade when I get home from the bookstore, hunched over the kitchen table into the twilight hours of the night peeling stickers off of books I paid far too much for in the first place. Thanks, Sam Vienard Math requirements more frustrating Dear Editor, This topic has been one of my concerns since I first learned about it in my Math 0950 class. I won't speak for all the students that attend UVSC, but I will speak for myself. I find it difficult that the Math Department won't change the rule that if you get below a C- on any of the Math finals, you need to retake the course again. I understand that they're changing the rule this coming fall to a C instead of a C-; this will make it exceptionally hard for students like myself, who really have a hard time trying to pass tests or basically the course. It's amazing how much out-of-state tuition is for students, and when we need to pay for the course again it really adds up. I hope one of these days the Math Department will reconsider this rule, but for now I'm really glad I'm passing my math course so I can advance to the next level. Ashley Adams, Provo LETTERS TO THE EDITOR * E-Mail letters to uvscopinions@hotmail.com * The NetXNews room is located on campus in SC220. * All letters become property of NetXNews and may be edited for content, specifically clarity, length or other concerns at the discretion of the Opinions Editor. * Letters between 50-250 words are encouraged and those letters marked by their succinctness are more likely to be published. * Letters must be accompanied by full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes (contact information will not be published). Occupation, title or major is optional. |