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Show ttdket ftjgblefc buse made of aluminum from Hi to 1 torn lest than J,i6 FABLES IN SLANG By GEORGE ADE GaaNSnMM Baseball jape ubaQ i more popular in Japan fa my a here else except ui the JtiHd Stoics and Canada. tike i Curiosa Americana WNU m afyuG RUBBER T . mI pH in Ike maeefostura st diHsreat cams from li jj.7 pgsndi of lynthatk rubber are m driving a car 20.000 33 m. p. k. 61 pound ars urd while driving His miss manor si mi Is at 30 m. p. k. Md p st pi hii tpsngs robber, a dkcevery. may became century a Id -- a Industry. ' I I I i -- and she was the youthful wife of elderly Baron von Krudoner, Russian ambassador to Berlin. Also she became the sweetheart of Alexander L czar of all the Russias, and under her spell he supported her scheme for a Holy Alliance by which, she believed, the world could be run according to the principles of Christian charity. All the sovereigns cf Europe, except the pope, the king of England and the sultan of Turkey, joined the Holy Alliance, thereby pledging themselves to aid each other when the need arose. When Spain lost her Americsn colonies and called upon the Holy Alliance to help her get them back, George Canning, British foreign minister, proposed that the United States join with England in opposing the plan. John Quincy Adams, however, He Started to Live lip to His Reputation. proposed that an independent decIt would have to hurry as a new laration of policy be issued. TI1E T1BED TYPICALS Girla and Music Show was opening was the famous Monroe Doctrine and he had been advertised as a which brought about the collapse NCE there was an unmistakable Reuben Glue who First Nighter for so long that now of the Holy Alliance. They say Helen of Troy had the stood on a busy Comer in the Piece wouldnt ring up unlesa face that launched a thousand the Big Settlement, just he was In the Front Row. Barwhere he was a Hazard for all "If you think you are getting a ships. But the pretty face of Pedestrians. He wore a linen raw Deal, look at me," he aaid to oness von Krudener has been re i Duster and carried a Carpet Bag the visiting Turnip Grower. "Just sponsible for keeping the fleetscen-of jQW' The because I toil like a Turk all Day, the United States, for the last with Red Flowers on it. tury, ready to back up the "Mon1 ain supposed to hurry out about forked straight bristly and he 6:30 P. M. seeking any kind of re- roe Doctrine" which waa formuout from the lated by John Quincy Adams. sported a droopy Straw Hat with a laxing Entertainment so long as it. Knowing It is Noisy, Senseless and moderaround Shoestring LIGHTS OUT that he was under Observation by ately Indecent. What do 1 wish to the City Folks he started in to live do? Go home and play Chess. JF THE lights in a convention hall hadn't gone out when Uiey did, up to his Reputation. After rub- What must I do? Get right down bering at a Tali Building, with the in the Talcum Powder Zone, next James G. Blaine might have been Gosh to the Big Fiddle, and explode with President of the United States. mouth open, he exclaimed: It happened in Cincinnati in 1878. all Firewood! We aint got nothin Laughter at all the Wheezes which like that out at Rutabaga Center. Happy Cul Wagner pulled in San- When the Republican national convention opened, Blaine waa tlie outJumpin' cornstalks I I'm guin to dusky in 18118." see all the Sights if I bust a Calstanding candidate fur the noml- THE SHEIK SPEAKS nation. Although he was short of lus I Gol aisle! Jimminy Crickin H one Foot abou grt ets! I 'low, calkerlatc and swan the Grave and having compelled to ; neceaty, maJority orj being six ballots, on the seventh ballot that (hit hur Town ia a dance with the Other One?" asked he had the votes of 3S1 delegates, ch m; tlie Devilish Old Lady. win the nominato almost enough freckHe paused and wiped his "Nut a Circumstance," ex- tion. pli It has a claimed tlie Sheik. Because I put les with a Bandana. It was growing late and tlie lights ru. tough Assignment talking Dialect some Patent Leather Polish on my were turned on gas jets, for this Aa he stood there, impeding naturally dark Hair and attended was before the day of the electric BCI ' Traffic, who should approach him a few Parties they branded me a light. The Blaine men were hurry- ga. Lizard. I am just a young Fellow i! but the Traditional Policeman. ing the vote, to put their man over. it "Phwat the Divvle do yc mane, trying to find a little Sunshine in Then suddenly the lights went met blockin' the Strale? demanded the a World overhung with the dark out and Uje busitu.sl the con. bee. clouds uf Restrictive Legislation vention was Copper. suspended while tlie Goo and, naturally, it is embarrassing of the hall tried to lo- pen; A FAUMES to lie regarded as a Society Prob- management cate tlie trouble. The blaine men but This is most interesting," said lem. rud. were frantic. the superinthe Agriculturist, forgetting his 1 doubt if I am any more de- - tendent of the Finally Tl announced works gas if I Role. "Often have wu;id?rcd who proved than my Grand-Dathe trouble could.t be salt any Officer of the Law really did to. Apple Jack and carried a Pis-- that ed So Ule thjn to do wag gai use 'Phwat'." tol or my respectable Father who unliI toe ncxt day. ter "I am compelled to do so by the owned Trotting Horses and knew adjourn Whcn and reconvened. delegatM of said the Realism," Exigencies how to deal Faro. Youth has al- the e forces had rallied vilci Constable, lowering his Voice. "Ev-ri- n ways token its I ling but Youth Bnd united Rulhcrford B. Hayes, gun though I am of Polish Descent never had any active Press Agents whq wa nominated. In the much-imt- il tuar and was bum in Roxbury. Mass., it became fashionable to peck di lfd eection of 1876 he ants e I am supposed to speak Irish, even over Transoms, work the Ule ed to the extent of 'Spalpeen, is there and try to regulate tlie affairs deIeatcd Samuel j. TUdelu offci Word. is such a ' of Every One Else. the White House. It might have but "I get you," said the Boob from "Remember, it is not very long bcen ..Ciaine Maine" who went Tl the Sticks. "Any stranger walk- since Collegians, who are now Uel.e jf tte lighu Cincinnati on I Crehad a lost the over Universe, ing up to you might be weeping out that night badl).t peas' ative Artist who puts Titles into Keg Parties on the Campus- in w Moving pictures and it wouldn't do DOING THEIR STUFF GREATLY EXAGGERATED uf I to ruin hia illusions. But I am tellNE of the most famous of Mark the If he expected any Pity from the ing you that it ia no Burst of he was fooled. She came Twains witty remarks result- tied Flapper chew to all a straw Day to But with a Laughter a case of mistaken identi- year. from ed Vengeance. tote or this Vanity ignoi ty. is and said "When all done, Case." In 1897 his cousin, James H. who "Then possibly 1 am mistaken spoke up little Cream Face, "I am ill in Soul' in assuming that you have come to probably Queen of the Patsies and Clemens, was taken seriously L. Clemens (Mark and Town to buy a Gold Brick r trade tlie Goat of the entire Outfit. I've London. Samuel Twain) happened to be in tlie Brit- turn. your Farm for some phoney Oil gat to observe the Styles or else ish room in and capital at tlie time and some- mucl every yet. rny stay Officer. the Stock, said how a report gut out that tlie great man: at a I time Parade, wearing give "You sure are, waa the Reply. to I; the humorist had died. of "I am here to look up a new Radio least six Ounces to Clothing, snub several toll all the Thereupon reporters begin Our Set. Super Zingadino Beils and out the from London newspapers called at they about calling will not permit us to pick up either the house where Twain was stay- - Bu Honolulu or Rome ar.J we want one Stale Guard. was ing to get the details of his death. Evci. think it "Uo any Snap you with some class. This must be an Great was their surprise when the Iienv to smu.c to these learn Cigarettes 03 Day with you. I have been made of Oaku.n? Or to drive supposed dead man opened the the two and Minutes you sizing you up at sixty: or keep on applying door to admit them. When they lurnei haven't clubbed anyone yet. Now. Car Fre:h Paint? But what can I do? confessed to him their purpose in m G two-reComics in the If I am a Short Sport I will lose coming, be said. "You find a pret- - jti.riy "I'm a merciful Guy," said the my Ticket. Even the Sister who ty lively corpse, don't you?" istrug "But our editors expect us to little Bobby. "I spare even the Hip-- ! talks to tlie Clubs on the Decline who for are Flaskcrs bogging and Fall of tlie Rising Generation bring back a story about your had niade the place Trouble. I never, except on the expects me to wenr Gold Slippers death, persisted one reporter. and mfw recurrent drouth and shall we do? Screen, soak a' Comic just to see and puli my funny Lid over one 'me mlude its rcdeirii!iou unspeak- him roll up the Eyes and do a Eye. I'm try in 5 to look like the Wcll." said Mark Twain, "you 'ably difficult, on-- 1 And the tell can yet. Fadeaway. them that the remrt Turpin jurt Pictures in the M.igazincs so as not Onjfy a tiny riinciri'y still clung 1 of my dnlh has ly People who get me sized up to attract Attention or be regard-egrcaUy ex-i(jod and his ir;wu;. They Or--our of wen called the Pinus." aid they as a Freak." right are tlie members dcr. We have an extremely gumAt that moment a pale Person refuged to give up hnpe. shoe Organization called The So- with Duuldc-- s;x'cs came and sat Tlfe chief prole' i.uit vu a ciety of Overworked Types. Per- at a nearby Tchlo. iiliet whom we know as a The ot to a would like the attend is klnkaj.Ni spcc.es tacJ you haps "Be on your Guard," cautioned and tlOU;h d Meeting. tlilnVle the Business M.in. "He looks like raccoon family found In Sooth l;lk filst hoId nnd as known America, sometimes We had better do our LAMENT OF TI1E T. B. 31. a Writer. still (much of the old prophetic a honey bear, a yellow lemur, ablaze in h.'s preachment. S)Jiri "Would they let me back out of Rerjulnr Stuff." weaHut m vain did he ra.n1 Ins voice, While the Officer was limbering manaviri, and even 1 Mrx.can this Character Costume and appear sel. The adult is the size of a large 'for in my regular, clothes?" asked the up his Brnia- the Sheik grabbed day had almost passed whew a prophet could command the Devilish Old Lady and s,:iid. : Hayseed. with 3eHowish brown in roloring lbe iicypec cf tbe rnob j i)t, Word "That is the idea of the Club. Wc "Come oil. Kid, lets melt the Wax od hud lost its power ?' T," P" tht!;er'c Ju- gCt together In Private and swjp on the Floor." OVM nbiah. and only the word i f sn.cc Tie Tired Business Man began and sympathize with nj Troubles ?? thl eovcnng is the ennbly authority could rolling his eyes at the Flapper, who Each Other." carry any of the skin. It can bc. veight in tlie land nuw So that is how it came about called the Waiter by his First Blblity trom ' lhe evfrBl tretched ,nchM if couldn't' he that the Conventional Yap wax tak- Name and asked him bod w,,h no don,furt to the am- xmEMIAU COMES TO TIIK en by the Usual Policeman to slip them a little TNT. Prolec' ,nd prvp Materi- And it was all First-Clasmeet the Flapper, the Sheik, the RESCI'F Ion tlon DlUrked. The tail Devilish Old Lady and the Tired fncfnr ihm Airth nr Ha wax oLtrrv. much uUww.t, a monkey's and T:IJ! the same Life a in dined Man. They Business jUS- .n t,m' A wa UMfd in the Mmp ,Bsh,on f,jr ho,d,n ' 'I"even Be if MORAL: tyourself you quiet Alcove. or an obiccL of graipuig Book Rules. a The Tired Business Man said hr have to study j )l VICTORY BONDS! (1) They art the safest place world lor your savings. in all the (2) They are a written promise Iran the United Statesol America topay yoa beck every penny you put in ..(I) i back $4 tor every $3 the end oi ten yean pay you interest at the rate o( They pay you you put in, at ... 19. I (4) You may turn them in and get I yoor cash back at any time after U days. The longer you bold them. the note they're worth, jj (I) They ere never worth less than the oney you invested in them. They oe't go down in price. Thats a 3 proreue from the financially atrorf- ; at institution in the world: The United States of America. BOY VICTORY BONDS I : WifPHifSl Pothh i uat congestion -jwtthao put a little in each Wru, Quickly con- la relieved, breathing la easier, pdku 'Mro-nwork right where troubla Nrelleve distress of bead cold. wuow directions In the package. ' VKKSVA-TBO-HG- L r i bc-1- d ; 0 r.,y 1'' bc .rlU'7 j QUINTS'ef ceaghing INCHEST COLDS With MUSTEROlf ex-je- 1 j ol . though laboring most of under fire, Ncliemiuh's h pic ted the wnlL It further than the one d, for it enclosed not rusalcm, but also several by villages. In effect it oundation of the restored ate. juildhig of the city wall :ver, but the beginning of 's work. Within the com-,- e morale was at its low-n- d to this the leader had The turn his attention. had had to neglect tlieir ile working on the wall, being crushed In tlie fists The priests and dissolute; tlie toyed st God and his wor- Sabbath, which had h Importance in tlie exnow neglected and turtle taking of heathen and women as wives was .n every family. It was unless a complete and form was brought about ly. the career of the nmunity would soon be s. at--- awful-lookin- g H your hom ever fills up with sniffy traa-- ; P' I - I s ; t. ..a, "dcd fam-Wh- able-bodie- d sgl-ain- st . SAdwT is pad all the and around Jerusalem, hem to work. It was a undertaking, chiefly would give rs no rest. Two divisions had to be organized: one nd another to fight. There ess spying and conspiring ption. Nehemiah hurried with all his might, for tlie ns had carried Uioir him as far as tlie Persia, and he feared he ddenly, be recalled. anti-Blain- Key-Hol- WaiinV e Persian court, a Jew lemiah. Learning of the plight of his brethren in .s Nchemiah asked tlie for permission to go ovemor of his people's Tlie permission was .inted, for the king like before him well knew riant It was that the led Palestine be held by vho bore him good will with all the authority uf Persian emperor, Nehe-le-d out on the three lumcy to Jerusalem. undertaking, unce he ar-- e ruined city, was that of the wall. He realized the city was protected enemies tlie inhabitants cr be at rest According-afte- d j SENNA LAXATIVE CONTAINED IN SYRUP PEPSIN mo ilt slew luktril i DR. CALDWELL'S M MlunU Bmi-YI- Ni A&D buy liji Sandwich Making In making sandwiches have an materials fresh, crisp and Mayonnaise or cooked salad dressing should bo used to eomblna meat, egg or vegetable sandwich Ingredients, or to spread on bread to prevent absorption of any moisture In filling material For sweet sandwiches, spread soft butter on the bread. of New jferd Cl) d NOW! euilr-fctrftU- if 4 how Hcutt'i Emvliiot fejild ffwfp. ifiMMt Try it I Ort vky (hia tony doctor Nvamnnl food high merry, tnfifte Hity at nmr dnirrUff'. ecu ; Thu advertisement contributed in with the Drug. Cosmetic and AIM industries, by the makers of Is One of the most notable Innovations in safs beating Is the wet base boiler in which water circulates un- nUh anti k U lh mb tiut Gosh-ding-i- ts i Illinois Cropland Corn, soybeans, oats and hay comprise 90 per cent of the total cropland in Illinois -- sMf to mnkt . J hat-scar- cs inpiKive Century Tha barometer and tha thermometer were developed in the 17th century. with HiChENEiW TONIC ikla points tot an It took clothes-ratio- n Australian girl to buy a bat Knowing this. United SUtes soldiers often brought to their dates specially made headpieces of fresh flowers. This custom, started by our trorpe became the rage in fly to Innumerable type of desserts and salads. In addition to delicious flavor, they offer fair amounts of vitamins A and C. Vietinghoff-Schee- l nriMi raw materials m! Versatile Fruit Patches adapt themselves reat cember. 1823. But if you want to go back even farther for its origin, then a pret- ty Russian baroness comes in forj Hcr her share of responsibility. name was Barbara Juliane von i ,X4 Matabie nibbar Hnih ever ItggSe 1200 it tong end 23 - higb pnewsatic brsakwatsts Mrs mS Is control Ih waves on His during His Normandy Dm WNDSmim. WE pacts SMAPPY By LEWIS BROWNE Q Menus Kmrcpsprr Syndicate. MONROE (?) DOCTRINE CALL it the "Monroe but it might more properly be called the "Adame Doc trine," for John Quincy Adami, Monroe'a secretary of state, was the man who saw the need for it end formulated It even though it did appear in Monroe's handwriting in hi message to congress in De- ,.11 fills The GRAPHIC BIBLE Bp Elmo Scott Watson Lacks Nltrogea flrinf of com during the ex wet weather la prlncb pSTdue lo a lack of nitrogen. ). Raleaeao lmperta tha first year in which this country imported rote none roots ia commercial quantities, our Imports wars only 8.400 pounds. By 1940 they bed expanded to 6,300.000 pounds. Rolenone ia used ia Insecticides." la 1911, Rubber Glavrs In many forma of houser leaning, rubber gloves ftimlsh a' convenient protection for the hands. After each using they should be dipped In a basin of suds, rinsed thoroughly fai clear water, and patted dry with a soft cloth. Dust them inside and out with talcum powder before putting way. Wash Cement Floors Cement floors of the garage and basement ran bo scrubbed with a broom or long handled brush dipped In a pail of thick soapsuds. Uso a garden hose fnr quick rinsing. This is an economical uso for partly soiled suds from the wash machine or tub. WONDERFUL RELIEF Ffois Bladder Irritations! tl Faneoi doctors discovery acts oa ludacjri to iocreaso urine a ad relieve painful bladder irritations earned by excess acidity in tbe urine There Is a seed new is uiffar ueeeceaaery led dikceoilert tree backache, dnlnu bladder Irrilallea, and faellat due laeeceu acidity hi r urine l,W DR. (emeus darlera dltrevery KILMER'S SWAMP ROOT. Far Swung Roe I sell Inal ea Ike kidneys la laureate Heating Safrly der the ash pit. The fact that the boiler can be placed on a combustible floor ii of interest in connection with the trend toward the basement-Ics- s house In such houses it is Mien desirable to install the boiler on a wooden floor in a utility room or kitchen. Olhcr safety features of modem boilers are door hanopeners, dles and side shakers, making it easier to open and close doort. d t, Lacky Stones Emeralds were ones believed to bo beneficial to tha eyes and amethysts were thought to prevent drunkenness, according to Encyclopaedia Brltannlca. Tha belief la lucky stones still exists. Ralh Banishes Blurs According to etymologists, flit English word bath comes Indirectly from a Greek word meaning "to drive sadness from tho mind." Which goes to prove again that the classic Greeks were a modern people and that they knew the full value of bodily cleansing. Bathe frequently and thoroughly, and thus "drive sadness from the mind. Flan Baths If the man of tho house has been accustomed to taking his daily shower In tli morning, reserve this time for him, The children might bathe In tho evening, alloting the time according to their ages and when they go to bed.' The younger children might be bathed before dinner, older children tolcr. Plan your own bath for whichever hour will give you the most relaxation. Efts Nuirltloas Eggs help keep the body healthy. They make strong muscles and red blood. A child needs four to flvo eggs s week. An older person seeds three to five eggs s week. Eggs may be eaten plain, or mixed In other foods. Whip Soap Flakes Whip your soiyi flakes in a little hot water with an egg beater and you wiQ need fewer flakes and get better results. USE 66 6 COLD PREPARATIONS LIQUID, TABLETS, SALVE, USE ONLY AIDIRUIED Ike (lew of urine sad relieve n cats acidity. i. Oriflaally diaesvarad by I hyskiaa, Swaaw Hast la a cnlully kleadcd cembiaatien sf IS kerbs, reel', vcfelables, baleaua and slher neturej In. kahil-lsrultredtralB. It's net harsh ar )aat (aed ingieditnto tkal bain yau (eel werlda better (aetl Seed (er yte TODAY! rer'll be glad that yau did. Sead aaou aad addraaa ta Drpsrtmeal E. KUaur A Cs., Iw, Baa Offer United. Seed I2SS, Stamlsrd, " dr u Csaa. lists sell Swaep Rest, sasy way to just - dash in nsrsissTv 42 4S WNU UNCORK STUFFY NOSTRILS WbM oeetiSs are dotted ad your bom Ms membranes swollen, far ik or eselfaf, sestk-lu- f ilentkolatun. Spread I. Inside nostrils . . . sad snug well back, las' sally it atarts to t) Help thin out thick murs; 2) Soothe Muted membranes; Si Help rod we iwedlng; 4) Stimulate local blood supply to sick area. Every bmth bring quick, welcome relief. TO epw stuffy nostrils, gel effective MentboUtum today, the Medicated Nieal-UnfufJan, tub 80s. nf, fttWfrAftbVfiUKlDfFFECTiyfilrA ih and another leader, a med Ezra, realized this a work. They assembled people in Jerusalem and them the tow. They that all who heathen wives into their Mild have to send the way. Outstanding debts ue canceled; the priest-t- o e purge itself; the hunccfurlh to be itnrcfcd. Thus tlie life if the community was swept clean from end to end by the two reformers. From a lawless, reckless. godlc-- s populace, the Jews were suddenly transformed Into a band nf purit'.iris. And the community was saved anyway for while. Sab-wer- And now as never b:fore the Jews who had remained in exile, began to throng '.Hick to tlie; homeland. From Babylonia came in a steady stream; prulj ly from Egypt and other lands, Buck they came to tlie littlrj of Judea, once more to life there. But it was a life ferent from that which rr store had known two earlier. The newcomers with a thousand new id from the foreign per whom they had aojoi were no longer simj with crude "small They had traveled world. They were NOSE DEOPS mo-da- ya-s- x: .9 Vw |