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Show April 1970 Page 4 UTAH FARM BUREAU NEWS ) The Ever Present Grasshopper a time there was an ant that worked hard all summer cutting and grass dragging it home, a blade at a time, 'for winter use.' His neighbor, a grasshopper, sat in his doorway singing, wondering why the ant, poor chump, worked so hard when he too could get on welfare and Once upon .... . 8ing' , Then winter came and the ant, by his hard, work,' had $ large store .of grass, while his neighbor, the grasshopper had none. Then, lo and behold, the ant was jerked out of his snug nest and hauled before the authorities where he was charged with violating the Fickle Federal . Farm Food F-La- w It was then that the awful truth hit Barney Y. Goodwill: ""On this overcrowded planet," he said to himself his family having left him several months before, "die only way a man can stop doing harm to die ecology is to drop dead." So he gave up breathing. His last wish was to take up as litde space as possible in death. Thus he was cremated and his ashes scattered. Most of his remains therefore became smog. And his ashes, containing ten parts per million of indestructable DDT, washed down to a lake, then to a river and finally out to a poisoned ocean. Moral: As you go through life, don't worry about doing the most possible good. Just worry about doing die least possible harm. (Publication rights reserved by Missouri Features Syndicate, 1970.) by overharvesting grass. Whereupon he was fined $162.48 and his grass confiscated, only to be given to the grasshopper for his welfare food stamps. And the grasshopper continued to sing while the poor dumb ant starved. Keep America Clean and Green: Drop Dead i, Jack Stapleton, writing in the "Daily Dunklin Democrat " of Kennett, we to the relate should it discusses the problem of ecology and way Ms-sour- Editor. Vie Column is reprinted here by permission. Once upon a time there was a man of good will named Barney Y. Goodwill whose only desire was to leave the world a better place for his passing through. And he was happy. He had a happy wife and three happy children and they lived in a happy house with a happy dog and a happy cat and two happy hamsters. And they had a lovely garden Then one day, Barney Goodwill took up the study of ecology ecology become the rage. quite having suddenly The first thing he read was that pesticides were leaching from the soil to poison the waters of the lakes, rivers and oceans. "I can't poison the waters of the lakes, rivers and oceans," he said. So he renounced pesticides and let the aphids take over his lovely garden The next thing he read was that the smoke and fumes he produced were befouling the crystalline air. "I can't befoul the crystalline air," he said. So he gave up smoking,' driving the family car and tires in the fireplace. He then read that overgrazing by livestock was causing serious soil erosion. "I can't erode the soil of my planet," he said. So he gave up eating meat and wearing leather products going barefoot summer and winter. Goodwill felt he was now at least holding his own until he read that he, personally, required more than seven tons of fuel each year to warm, transport and illuminate himself. And he was thus destroying at a prodigious rate irreplaceable reserves of coal and oil and natural gas that nature had taken eons to create. "Good heavens!" he cried dazedly. And he turned off the furnace, doused . the lights and gave up riding taxicabs. In a cold, dark house, he could now read only in the daytime. This was fortunate because it was a full week before he stumbled across still another staggering statistic: He, personally, required no less than five tons of food, minerals and forest products each and every year to maintain himself in a civilized state. Worst yet, he threw away annually, all by himself one ton of beer cans, pop bottles, drink cartons and other empty containers that now littered the beautiful highways of a once pristine America. To save on food, a panicky Goodwill went on a strict diet, eating nothing but dandelion greens, boiled thisties and an occasional butterfly. To save on minerals, he eschewed tinfoil, ballpoint pens and loose change. And to preserve the forests, he swore never to read anything printed on paper again. He cancelled eveiy subscription he had. Which was good. Because a full month passed before Gooduwl heard on his neighbor's radio a scientist explaining how each of us breatllfs in oxygen and breathes out poisonous carbon dioxide. In Balance With Nature In the beginning There was Earth; beautiful and wild; And then man came to dwell. At first, he lived like other animals Feeding himself on creatures and plants around him. And this was called IN BALANCE WITH NATURE. Soon man multiplied. He grew tired of ceaseless hunting for food; He built homes and villages. Wild plants and animals were domesticated. Some men became Farmers so that others might become Industrialists, Artists, or Doctors. And this was called Society. Man and Society progressed. n With his ingenuity, man learned to feed, clothe, protect, and transport himself more efticientiy so he might enjoy Life. He built cars, houses on top of each other, and nylon. And life was more enjoyable. The men called Farmers became efficient A single Farmer grew food for 45 Industrialists, Artists and Doctors. And Writers, Engineers, and Teachers as well To protect his crops and animals, the Farmer produced substances to repel or destroy Insects, Diseases, and Weeds. These were called Pesticides. Similar substances were made by Doctors to protect humans. These were called Medicine. The Age of Science had arrived and with it came better diet and longer, happier lives for more members of Society. Soon it came to pass members of Society That certain well-fe- d Disapproved of the Farmer using Science. They spoke harshly of his techniques for feeding, protecting, and preserving God-give- plants and animals. They deplored his upsetting the Balance of Nature; They longed for the Good Old Days. And this had emotional appeal to the rest of Society. By this tiipe Farmers had become so efficient, Society gave them a new title: Unimportant Minority. Because Society could not ever imagine a shortage of food Laws were passed abolishing Pesticides, Fertilizers, and Food Preservatives. Insects, Diseases, and Weeds flourished. Crops and animals died. Food became scarce. To survive, Industrialists, Artists, and Doctors were forced to grow their own food. They were not very efficient People and governments fought wars to gain more agricultural land. Millions of people were exterminated. The remaining few lived like animals. Feeding themselves on creatures and plants around them Arid this was called IN BALANCE WITH NATURE. John Carew life-givin- g , , Chairman, Horticulture Department Michigan State University |