OCR Text |
Show jv WOOING IN THE YEAR 2000 THE SCENES IN POLITICS Cynthia Grey By I TIIE POLITICAL SOCIAL WHIRL I I wonder who it Coming here! can be! if flying maToo bad, Norrette; as automobiles numbered were rines used to me, your curiosity might be at least three minutes satisfied sooner. The airship settled slowly. It's Jack! Mary, Mary oh, shes A pretty chaperon she makes. gone! Ko wonder I cant endure him, thrown at his head as I am. Well, let him come; Im not afraid. Ill marry him or not, as I choose. lie swung easily toward her. "Im not glad to s6e you," was her rude greeting. Indeed? cheerily. "Im delighted What wedding garment to see you. are you making now? None for any wedding of yours. Then put it away and fly with me. By uightfal) we shall have reached the moon, where the fairies live, and there we can be wedded. You shall be bound so gently that even you will forget to fret at loves silken cords. i I II! l An Indiana man killed his wife times! snapped the taking her teeth from a knot. There is luck in nines. She glanced up scornfully, Luck! '.hen a strange light leaped to her eyes Anand a quick color to her cheeks. other machine, the ship of the rival lover, silently sailed behind them. The girl knew that he could hear her I would throw myself every word. from the ship before I would marry a man who attempted to run away e girl, Being one who loved Ills fellow men he didn't lme the heart to do it so he took her life. This Is a sad and a talkative world! OOO with me. As she spoke the rival lover. you marry me! men adore you, said Norrette, when will Dont! (Copyright, by Joseph B. Bowles.) The politician who Is following the calling for a livelihood eats, drinks and sleeps politics. You cannot get him off the track. He finds little interest in anything else. All his reading, outside of the papers, is on political topics. He keeps track of past elections and past ward votes, knows how his ward has gone, will go, and ought to go iu the future. He is the life of all political assemblages, for he has the air of the expert and the glibness of an illustrated lecturer. He attends the wakes, funerals, dances, parties, baseball and football games, christenings, church fairs, picnics and all other social happenings, and gets himself voted the most popular man whenever he has a chance. I remember that at Jamboree there was a and I was appointed one The other two Judges together, and I saw I one political beauty show of the Judges. were pulling was double-crosse- d commanded the girl, in before the beauties went I was a fool. This on the Take m6 platform. In front of the plathome. form there was a big crowd on the But, my answer; you promised it chairs, and they were filled by the respective adherents of the contesting I had innocently supposed Did I? fair. then, not now. that things were on the square until when the moon is full, ne whispered. She nodded and was I was approached by one of the Judges with the idea that the first prize ought gone. to go to a certain girl who, to my noIn the shadows of the court tion, was not within a thousand miles lingered among her roses. There of being first in the race. I put up was a fluttering, a gleam of white such a fierce kick that the other silvered in the moonlight, and presentlJudges got a little bit uncertain, and at last, as first and second prizes were y Jack found her there. Norrette, 1 was rude. I offer no both gold watches, they agreed to let me select No. 2 if I would vote for ?xcuse, there is none. But until 1 did not know that you really their choice for first prize. hated me. I was foolish enough to When No. ls name was announced think that you cared. Can you for- a groan went up from the crowd, acgive me before I go away? companied by a cheer from one corShe held out her hand. ner of the seats where the winners "Thank you, he said gently; I was partisans were bunched. When No. afraid you would not forgive. Good-by- , 2's name was given she was cheered Norrette. by a big majority of the crowd, and I Dont go yet, she faltered. You was satisfied my eyesight was still I you havent said to good. Now for both of these girls the good by vote had been solid, three votes for Mary. You may tell her. each. When it came to No. 3 and But there were only three prizes worth Well? anything I did a little I Jack, cant you see? myself. One of the Judges proI see a man running down the posed a girl who had a face like a stairs, said Jack dully. T must go. custard pie at twilight. The other I Oh, it is he! whispered Norrette judge said, Sure, that's the one! He is coming after me. had selected a girl for this prize and fearfully. Jack, Jack, dear, take me quickly! I had got her name, so I said to Judge He do love you. No. 2, Wheres your lady? No dullness could fail to respond to pointed to her and I said, Out of that eager pleading and to the cling- sight; but wed better split the votes giv ing of those trembling fingers. In the this time; you vote for Miss so shadow of the friendly balcony he ing him the name of my choice bent and kissed her willing lips. that the crowd wont have any holler Norrette, called a deep voice from coming on the split; two votes to one across the moonlit couit. will win out anyway. I am here, He did as suggested, hut as I also said the girl from her lovers arms. I am here, she repeat- voted for my choice the look of dised, dragging Jack forward into the gust that overspread his features white light I'm sorry 1 mean Im when he saw how he had been was something classic. But glad that I am going to marry Jack! You see Aunt Mary thinks I was Holy gee! said he all ought. wont you have some fruit before you go? Its on the After a man has been mixed up In roof! politics for a year or so he begins to perceive that politics has as many anHint Worth Knowing. gles in a social way as the game of If one is ever seized with a sudden caroms. The variety hemorrhage from the lungs, the first of gradations 13 so widely diversified thing to be done, before the doctor and the intervals so abrupt that it gets there, is to take dry salt as quick- takes a truly cosmopolitan spirit to ly a3 possible. At This often prevents successfully take the degrees. further bleeding entirely. A teaspoon- four o'clock la the afternoon you may ful of salt is not too much to take, pro- be touching glasses with a young mevided tt is done gradually, so as not chanic at a rathskeller in a friendly to choke. The patient should, more- chat over your beer as to how things over, keep perfectly quiet and free look in his end of the ward. At 6 p. from excitement and stay in a room m. you may be dining with a bunch of not too hot. Judges and party magnates in some sudden fright. Is no time for love-makin- t, t, Nor-rett- e to-Ja- y double-crossin- g "horn-swoggls- Ani-wo- be- cause she talked all the time. Inslead of sulking and giving him & chance to read his newspaper in peace, aha let her talker run wild like an automobile minus a steering gear. When he was shaving and Just prepared for a long downward sweep across his jaws, she would insist on Ills answering a question. When she awoke in the night she would turn over and ask: Are you asleep, John?" just to be saying something. When he tried to write, she discussed household expenses and when in the climax of a beautiful story, she could be counted on to butt in and spoil the effect. He couldnt take her to concerts because she persisted In talking like the good old woman who fried hers in lard! At last she began to talk In her sleep. This was the last straw; he killed her! He was undoubtedly ashamed to get a dlvoree and try another lest she, too, should reman y. Silly, cant you see Im busy? can see that you are saucy. Permit me, and without ado he picked her up, sewing and all, and ran with her to the ship. In an instant they were off, and Norette, red with anger, in her was tugging at the knots thread. I love you, said the man. sun. No wonder I By ERNEST MCAFFEY I she perched perilously near the edge of the boat and her eyes flew past Jacks shoulder and shone full into the eyes of the rival lover. He read her message and an swered her daring with a nod and smile. In an instant the second ma chine glided noiselessly beneath the larger one and slightly to one side. The girl swung deliberately over the rail and swayed toward what seemed a reckless plunge to death. With a powerful effort Jack broke the spell which held him, and, springing forI ward, cried: "No, no, Norrette. will never but the word froze on his lips as the outstretched hand of the rival lover rose from space to steady her into the other car, where, n defiance she sung out: Go, take your trip to the silver moon, ha, ha! Both men were pale. It was a wicked thing to do, said Jack. Then with a quick tug, he changed his course and shot away toward the gleaming by Byron Wllllums IPOS, Like the Parrot. Come! Ninety-nin- (Copyright n't three-cushio- n d fashionable club, making wild guesses with the rest of them as to how national politics looms up. At twelve that night you may be addfessiug forty or fifty people in a little hall back of some saloon. You must be prepared to meet all kinds of people at a minute's notice, and you must be able to understand them and adapt yourself to them instantly and easily, or you will be lost in political society. Suppose you happen to drop In at headquarters where they are waiting for a meeting to be called. There may be twenty to thirty men about, some sitting in chairs reading or talking, some at a playing a friendly game of cinch, others at a or a billiard-table- . Can you play cards? Now, of course, it is not absolutely essential that you can; but If you can make a hand at one or pocket eight balls from the break, or play a fair game of billiards you are a more welcome member of society in that strata of political existence. And if it should happen that you joined a group at some political club, where some topics such as literature, art, science, invention or similar matters were being discussed, and could hold your own In conversation, you were making a hand there, the same as at the more plebeian game of cinch. Nothing that a man has learned with his head or his hands but what will come in handy in polidown-tow- n card-tabl- e pool-tabl- e card-tabl- e high-tone- d tics. Political club meetings, in the case of the down-toworganizations, took place every Sunday in my time. They were enlivened by the admission of new members,' the reading of reports and making of motions, speeches, and always something in the way of a vaudeville stunt by either a member of the club or some outside talent. These down-towmeetings were valuable in bringing the leaders of the different wards together and affording them an opportunity to exchange political news and to discuss the coming spring or fall campaign. They were always largely attended, and it was a disgrace for any ward to be called upon for information of any sort and not have a representative on hand. A disgrace that I never knew to happen but once. No matter what the weather was the faithful were on hand. n n The president opened the meeting and the utmost freedom of discussion was allowed in any debate which might arise. Sometimes a recess was declared, and the men talked and smoked until the meeting was called to order again. It was amusing to see how those of the gathering who were were regarded. If their position gave them no "distributive power, they were looked on as merely happy accidents, and not ranking at all with those who had jobs to sort out. In neither of my own portions did I have the appointment of even so much as a at my disposal, so I was merely a In fact I was lucky iu lucky guy. more ways than one, for not having anything to give out I was not bothered by applicants. office-holder- s office-holder- s day-labor- These meetings always arranged for the parades, the marching trips and the grand balls which were given. Dont imagine It did not cost anything to mingle in political society, polite and otherwise. You were able to buy tickets to the balls, chances on everything that could be raffled for the benefit of some needy politician, badges and gloves, plug hats to march together with other raiment, club dues, tickets to various dances and entertainments, and in fact, from morning until night, day In and day out, to "sift your salary steadily into the hopper." The grand balls were of course the most Important functions given by the party. They were attended by everybody, including the mayor, and he led the grand march. It was a were as lively time, and diamonds plentiful as blackberiies. suits were largely In evidence, and the dancing kept up until morning. At such a ball the extreme opposites of political life met, once a year, and the occasion was one to be remembered. Judges, with an eye to possible or probable were not at all too proud to attend, and occasionally some of the citys elite attended, just for the novelty of the thing. A woman might be led out by an exgovernor of the state for onh set, and the next set take a turn down the middle With the man that shot Sandy McGee. It was a truly cosmopolitan gathering, unique and picturesque, and rarely was there any disturbance that amounted to anything. In, Full-dres- s waltz tune at the platform you could go up and pivot" with your partner, just to show that you weie not proud, or that you knew how to reverse. Dancing went on all the time, couples r OOO Political society at the picnics, democratic as it seemed at first blush, had its lines of demarcation, which were quite noticeably drawn. The wife and daughters of the big boss were 011 hand, together with the women folks of the various but they did not mingle with the average lady picnickers. They sat by themselves in something of exclusive grandeur, and were pointed out by the more to their ordinary of the office-holder- companions. Sometimes s a possible presidential candidate graced the occasion by his presence and consented to hand out a oratory. But sample of I never heard one yet who could draw away any of the attendance at the baseball game or the fat womens race. There's a limit, even to oratory. Great was the consternation when, as sometimes happened, the floodgates of heaven opened and drowned the picnic grounds. The last political on a picnic 1 attended commenced at and last the very threatening day, clouds seemed to make up their minds to sweep the grounds. Our party had taken alarm, with a number of others, and had gone down the track to where the first train to town was stationed. The crowd got there and jammed the train instantly. Just opposite the picnic ground, and a half mile from us, was a wide platform, uncovered, on which stood hundreds who were waiting for this train. Let her go, Sam, Bald the conductor; "no stop till wo get to Chicago.' Away we went, and as we passed the picnic grounds hundreds more came down through the drenching showers In white dresses that stuck to their limbs and straw hats that were being soaked to ruin. But the train went past regardless of their yells, and as it went by the car question of which is moral and which windows were raised and the chorus Is not, I leave It cheerfully to every of the latest song was wafted into man for himself to judge. their ears: Oh! ain't dat awful, Ain't dat a shame, Every year, and always In the good To keep my baby old summer-time- , the swell picnic was Out In the rain. held, generally away out in the counHis First Impression. try in some grove. And here political society disported itself In its gayest They stood by the lake. She was and gladdest rags, and gave Itself from Boston and poetical. Are you romantic? she chirped up to unalloyed festivities of all sorts and kinds. There was the fat man's after a long silence. race, the sack race, chasing the Exceed. ngly, replied the Chicago greased pig (so politically suggestive), man as he lit another black cigar. the between the firemen Ah, I am so glad to hear it What and policemen's teams, the dances, the does yoa yellow half mooi remind speeches, the bowling alleys, the nig- you of? The Chicago man was thoughtful. ger baby and baseball stand, the umbrella and cane game, the lemonade Well, to tell you the truth, he restands, the wandering minstrels, and sponded, after a minutes meditation, the shell game." You could spend It reminds me of the half of a your money a little at a time at the pumpkin pie and dlVei sifted amusements, or you cou d But the Boston girl was gone. Such have cue swift thrill and lose it all at a gross allusion to fair Luna was more than her aesthetic nature could the shells." Whet? the band struck up a favorite tolerate. Here the ward politicians gathered, not only to talk politics, but to roll play pool and, at the play for the drinks." The amount of social intercourse thus had in a large city is enormous. After the ordinary ward politician had eaten his supper he would be ready to engage in his political cruising, and he could usually find a bunch of men at the of bowling alleys, or in the I went his neighboring saloon. through a great many political fights and skirmishes, big and little, and except just at election times I saw very little drunkenness. But there was no doubt that the workingmen and mechanics gathered at the saloons to see each other. And there was no doubt that they spent money there: maybe more than they should have done. But that was where they went to find companionship; to meet their I have often gone to the society. swell political clubs and there mot the men, lawyers, doctors professional and professors, business men of large Interests In various channels, and they sat at the tables and drank their wine where the ward fellows drank beer, and they played bridge or poker where the ward men played cinch, and when you come to the card-table- ten-pin- Wlfle wants a garden made And n rustle sent or two. Then sbo says: Just build a rack For mv niornln glories do! Ttien, when you are settled down, 8I10 want bulbs and seed frum town! coming and going and round dancing being succeeded by quadrilles. Sometimes a lithe and sinuous got a space cleared for himself to dis- There are rookeries to fix And nasturtiums to sow; port In, and great was the enthusiasm when some girl would accept a chal- There are1 violets hard by a few? Won't gist lenge and como out on the boards to Gee, tills worklntransplant stirs my bile addo a turn with the jig dancer. Sueh Cant I rest a little while? vancing ahd swaying and retreating; Ain't there no time free frum toll such apparent Indifference and then When a cuss like m kin snooze? unexampled vigor; such a hammering Flxln' things th hull yesr 'round. Gives me achy btiek uml blues! of the boards and turning and twistthere no time think of It ing, until at the end the crowd roared Aint Made fer restin' gist a tilt? its approval and the dancers disappeared among the spectators. Rag-Tag- , merry-maker- Another and more common phase of political social life was at the saloons. Busy. When the furnnee fire gor out And th' winter's work la through. Then the gran needs rutting, had. And there oilier tiling to do! There dont seem t bo no ret Fer a feller, tty his beat! Sometimes a man can go to Bleep the good In church and get away with If he doesnt snore. fSr One way to apologize to your wife Is to think up something she owes you an apology for and tell her tlut evens the score. it Some girls who maintain that they never would make a good wife for s poor man, some! lines, that is occasionally, make a poor wife for a rich man. OOO Cheap Affection. silver-tongue- card-roo- tug-of-w- Love and affection are depreciating A New York woman sued ber recreant lover for $25,000 breach )t promise money. The jury awarded ber six cents. Words are almost useless in a matter of this suit! Think of the waste and all for s'x copper a! !t is impossible, in English, to express ones feelings. Do It in Spanish or French or Hottentot! and even then there is a deficit! This woman poured out her femininity, made eyes, wore killing clothes, rubbed away headaches, sundry burned much gas and listened to "Lucille read aloud and she gets six cents! Less than half a shilling! Whither are we drifting? Whither Indeed! n value. OOO Plutocratic Illness. Some maladlet are to he afforded only by the rich. Of what use is goal to the poor man? What would a day laborer do with a case of appendicitis! And as for ennui, he hasn't time! Only the wealthy may walk in their sleep. The toiler Is too busy snoos-inoff the weariness caused by service. Insomnia seldom comes to ths tnan who has been using hi3 mnscle or lit s brain, or both, during the daylight hours. Few physically active people have Indigestion. Moral If yo would be happy and healthy, be poor! |