| Show n o. o ts From Wits 1 i Wanted Wanted A A Casual Observer 0 l. l an Inveterate a Cheer Cheerful Cheerful ful Idiot 1 a H dant c Max mite a Thoughtful l Student an Oras Ora Ora de cle to to t to act on the Local Staff during the ensuing year J l' l f Varsity Sayings Sayings L Latin Students Latin tin Students when vh I in in a doubt ul T consult consult Henry Henry 1 Tucker d I An Oracle full of prophecies t sand and nd glo gloomy IY for forebodings Mr 15 r G Glenn l When mad Mr Nord l see valli j when in in trouble see t the President re ide Dont Don't smoke gi ig 1 l poor cigars give ret t. t them to your our enemies enemies I 1 Dont Don't talk talk- in in the h library that th r that t i isz i don't dont get t caught aught talking there r A in ink 1 I r a r k Professor Marshall En Eng E j kY 11 Mr Richards r s rc ad r l sentence sen- sen l- l tence tence F I 1 f. f l Mr R Richards Richard s I 1 h ii r Fess Fe rs' rs r 7 I t J n may inay ty c come H And 1 n lz a 4 tit i I may may y g go go B But l ih their rj jokes i stay iy ith yiti tt us t for for- ever ever 1 J i Puno PUho W g-cm g Mr f ell HoN prefer A A Pearl Pearl- 1 f 1 lt 1 i J JV 0 V Why IY does Miss Its Brinton lilii lilo a j jr t j f pole poc uc Because C jIS IS' IS fV 1 n ii 1 re is j. j w ways ys a t B l r r low lo in in i. i i J 1 1 0 A LOST Lost OST OPPORTUNITY J s I 4 t Backward turn backward oh t time me 9 t flight h. h Make it but once again last last- Tuesday Tuesday Tues Tues- j day a night Not qt that Id I'd change things bings e. e een n. n d did it iJ come back bas But instead d of f. f on Bryan Id I'd betsine bet sure sine on Ma Mack k F Student 02 Ball Bal Who is that girl i in in- black Mr Stevenson That is is Miss Brown c. c Student Student- she Is Is she a jos josher Mr S S. hotly Sir she is a anice anice anice nice nice young lady A Terrible Commotion Some Some students who were loitering in in the basement t halls bolls one day last week received a terrible scare They heard some bloodcurdling uncanny ny sounds issuing from froma a basement room find bold leader bold lea leader et he finding ing a they t rushed thed in in arid and f found that found that the r. r i. i J wheels ls in janitor head d were y re r revolving backwards t n A A few da days ago ago P Prof of Coray hastened 1 down tl the the alcoves eal alcoves o e and de- de de demanded of Mr Richards why he be was conversing in the library and t that t t too o so so v very fy l loud d. d f Well V 0 objected bj Mr Richards i in in J self e d defence f tice Prof Cum Cummings ings told t i us to s study uh our L Latin tin out loud oud ii S SMALLPOX ox Smallpox smallpox is ringing in my ears Students most all gone away caused by awful fears Vaccinated fumigated sterilized and carbolated carbolated- Everything is is filled with the signs igns of the times H Y r f-r n ri ii n- n IW t i 0 1 JC There is IS a little gIrl And her name is Pearl And she goes to the U. U of U. U Instead of capturing one As she ought to have done She went and captured two THE LOGIC OF THE I Prof Lyman to to toned ne new student What do dislike What study study you New Student Mathematics Prof Lyman Y You u should take lots of bf f Mathematics W Nw N Student Then n w a ape person a-person person s who hates wom women women n sh should uld marry a marry marry-a a dozen of of them o i NoT Noi I IM IN I INFORM TION BUSINESS Pres Warde C oi 01 meeting g We ivy e r will wil ote t by acclamation Green Student nt- nt What is is t mat ion ml Mr yV Welling It Itis is where all i the thes the s students d nt vote te standing i ding on their F Fe e 4 i. i Mr It Gibbs seeing Miss I Cummings Cummings Cummings Cum Cum- and Miss Knowlton on the walk valk for the seventh time time in an hour hour hourI I don't I like to to ask em embarrassing embarrassing embar embar- bar bar- rassing rassing- questions questions' questions but but do you girls cam camp p pon on these walks all the time Why Why II He tie Didn't Ret Reform m. m Mr Romney Epi urus Why you dont don't dont you r reform form and g go to church Well Vell Ill I'll tell you I I. I W was lS calling quite regularly on a certain young young lady during vacation and on one such visit her mamma suggested that I go to church So next Sunday evening I went down early expecting to take the young lady to meeting but the other fellow was there before me I went to the evenings evening's services with her mamma I expected to win her good graces by so doing but theother the theother theother other tellow lellow stayed behind with the girl they girl they are engaged now Dont Don't Dont Don't bank on the mamma or religion talk love to the girl Over heard in the Chronicle Of Office e at a meeting of the local staff Mr Bisnett See here I sent in three columns of jokes on the first and second year and one Personal And you only printed the personal I object object object ob ob- Mr Tucker Let us have lo local local 10 cal space filled with good Puns Miss Cummings That would never do Fill it with clever rhy- rhy and poetry and and and- Cheerful Idiot Never Use essays and nd instructive simple interesting interesting interesting in in- subjects that could not possibly injure the minds of the younger students Pedantic Lets have lots of maxims and clever sayings say say- ings by clever people Thoughtful Student Put in abstract discussions of the problems of life social social social- The Oracle slowly No fill our space with weather forecasts and prophecies Mr Riser Give biographies of our Athletes and boom bourn Athletics Athletics Ath Ath- Athletics Mr Gibbs Have Jokes Mr Forrester Use up our pages with the doings of the Engi Engi- Students Say something something something some some- thing about us and and and- But the Local Editor frantically tearing his hair rushed from the room and filled the Chronicle with his own literary Moral Dont Don't Don't Dont blame the editor Every man has his faults they say And every She has the last word Eve Every y dog must have his day And every wor worm 1 its early bird H Uk 1 i I t i- i f X T To all our Customers a merry Christmas for I tt OO Another holiday is at our door you have presents to buy undoubtedly undoubtedly undoubtedly edly and you will feel that the selection selection se se- selection lection of of nice nic nice articles at prices within the limit of your purse will prove no small task Commence in time later we shall have fewer goods Come in and be surprised A splendid assortment t of books fancy goods goods' leather goods and toys just the stuff to take or or send home Our prices are the lowest MARGE ITS BROS Book Store 40 Main St. St d' d 1 fi i r |
